Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

“Your mom is sweet.” Hailey drew patterns on my stomach

with her fingertips and watched the muscles quiver beneath them.

“How did she take it when she found out you were gay?”

I grabbed her hand as my body awoke to her touch and held

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it in my own. “She was surprised and upset, though she tried to

hide it. I told her just after Kalen got married, and I think she

was looking forward to planning mine one day. Dad never said

much, but he’s always treated me and whoever I brought home

with respect.”

“And Kalen?” Hailey tried to pull her hand free, but I held

it firmly. She gave up and started running her toes over mine.

I laughed as she ran them across the bottom of my foot until I

released her hand. “Go on,” she said as her fingers danced over

my skin.

“Kalen didn’t take it well at first, but eventually, she came

around like she always does.” Hailey started planting kisses along

my collarbone until I asked about her family. She laid her head

back on my shoulder and draped a hand over my waist.

“I told them about my sexuality the same day I told them

about the divorce.” Hailey sighed and snuggled in tighter. “As

you can imagine, the news wasn’t well received. It was really

rocky for a while, but now they don’t ask me anything about my

personal life, and I don’t mention anything.”

“I’m sorry.” I kissed the top of her head.

“They’ll come around someday, just like Kalen did.” Hailey

said the words, but they sounded empty and insincere. She rose

up on one elbow and smiled down at me. “I don’t wanna talk

about them.”

“What do you want to talk about? Lunch maybe? Or if we’ll

be sleeping at your place or mine?” I wiggled my eyebrows for

emphasis.

“Your hipbone,” Hailey said as she moved lower. “I’d like to

nibble it.”

I sat straight up and pushed her away. “Don’t you do it, Hailey.

I’m ticklish there…actually everywhere.”

Hailey came after me as I made a dash for the bathroom.

“Your butt is especially ticklish. I noticed how you wiggled when

I ran my nails over it.”

I yelped and hopped around as I tried to escape her grasp.

Fuzzy stared barking and ran around us as Hailey tried to reach

around me. My phone added to the noise as it played the tune

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Robin Alexander

signaling Kalen’s call. “You have to answer it,” Hailey said with

a grin as she backed away and pulled my phone from my jacket

and handed it to me.

“Yes, Kalen,” I gave Hailey a warning glance as she and Fuzzy

circled me like two sharks. “Hailey and I were running.” I rolled

my eyes and grinned at the accusations. “We like to exercise.”

Hailey made a grab for me as I ducked into the bathroom. “At six,

okay. Need us to bring anything? Okay, gotta go, sis. Love you,

bye.” I snapped the phone shut and plastered my backside against

the bathroom wall.

“We were running?” Hailey said, running her fingertips

down my ribcage. “You are such a liar.”

I clamped my arms at my sides giggling like a child. “We

were running. You were chasing me. I’m going to find your weak

spot and exploit it mercilessly if you don’t stop.”

“Okay, truce.” Hailey held up her hands. “No tickles, I

promise.” She leaned against me and nibbled my earlobe. “I

noticed you said ‘us’ when you were talking to Kalen.”

“You’ve been invited to dinner, and if you don’t stop, you’re

gonna have to go without me and explain to my family that you’ve

loved me to death.”

Hailey insisted on bringing something despite the fact that

Kalen told us not to. She wanted something that Kalen could

enjoy, too, so we skipped wine and decided on pastries.

“Cheesecake?” Hailey looked at the refrigerated section of

the bakery. “Or lemon doberge?

“Anything chocolate will suffice, I promise. What about this

French silk pie?”

“Hailey, I thought that was you.”

Hailey and I turned, and I watched in shock and horror as the

woman’s gaze locked with mine. We both stood mute staring at

each other. Hailey looked between us bewildered. “Is something

wrong?” she asked as the woman stared daggers at me.

“Look, I was having a really bad day,” I started to explain.

“You know each other?” Hailey asked.

The woman pointed at me angrily. “That’s the woman who

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humiliated me at the health club you talked me into visiting.

Thank God I hadn’t already signed up for a membership when

I ran into her.” She tore her gaze away from me and looked at

Hailey. “I’ll see you Monday,” she said before she stalked off.

We paid for the pie in silence, neither of us willing to discuss

the encounter until we were in the confines of my car. Hailey’s

face was flushed as I let her in. I took my time as I walked around

to my side of the car. Taking a deep breath, I climbed in and

waited to hear what came next.

‘“Start stepping, sister,’ that’s what pissed her off the most.

She ranted for two days about it.” Hailey ran a hand through her

hair. “Well now, you’ve already met my boss. Guess I don’t have

to make that introduction at the banquet next year.”

I sank low in my seat and covered my face with my hands. “It

was just such a bad day,” I said, my voice coming out muffled.

The car went silent. At first, I thought Hailey was crying. I looked

over at her with shame and regret to find her head thrown back in

laughter. She was clutching her chest and gasping for air.

“Oh, my God, we laughed behind closed doors for weeks,”

Hailey said between fits and snorts. “She’s such a bitch, and it

was so great to hear that someone cut her off at the knees.” Hailey

wiped at her eyes. “It was worth the ass chewing she gave me for

talking her into visiting the club.”

I half laughed as I relived that embarrassment.

Hailey clutched my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek.

“You’re a hero around the office. I can’t wait to tell everyone that

it was my girlfriend who humiliated Sue Kellerman.”

I felt so relieved that Hailey didn’t want to choke me and even

more elated when she referred to me as her girlfriend.

Kalen’s house smelled of pasta sauce when we let ourselves

in. My stomach growled in anticipation for her spaghetti. When

we walked into the kitchen, Mom was at the stove and Kalen was

at the table with her feet propped up.

“You are pathetic,” I teased. “Making our dear mother slave

over the stove while you lounge around.”

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“Bite me and put the bread in.” Kalen pointed to the garlic

bread awaiting toasting.

I set the pie in front of her. “A gift from Hailey.”

“Oh, Hailey, you’re my hero for the next hour at least,” Kalen

said as she eyed the pie.

Mom smiled and kissed my cheek, then moved quickly to

Hailey and did the same. “Sit down, sweetie,” she said to Hailey

as she pulled out a chair. “Let me get you a glass of wine.”

“Can I help with anything?” Hailey asked.

“No, no, you sit,” Mom said as she coaxed Hailey into a seat.

I smiled over at Hailey as my mom fawned all over her.

I hugged Kalen, who held on to me a bit longer than normal.

“You feeling okay?” I looked down at her swollen feet.