K. Robinson - Tainted

He took one look at me and shook his head. “Really?” he asked.

“What?”

“You’re high, Drake. I thought you were trying to work on it.”

“I am,” I said defensively. “This is the first time today. That’s almost twenty-four hours. I don’t know what you’re so worried about anyway. You hate when I get all pissed off, don’t you? I never feel that way after I’ve snorted a line.”

“No, but you’re a raging dick when it starts to wear off,” Adam said from the couch.

I flipped him off as I sat down next to him. “Fuck you. I’m fine, and I’m not using as much as I was. At least I’m trying, so back off.”

“Whatever,” Adam growled. “I wish Chloe were here. She’d rip off your dick for this shit.”

For the first time ever, I snapped while I was high. I grabbed the neck of his shirt and drew my arm back to punch him in the face.

Eric grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Adam. “That’s it!” he shouted.

I froze. Eric never shouted.

“You need to get your shit together, or you’re going to be on your own. I can’t watch you destroy yourself and attack us every chance you get,” Eric said.

Adam adjusted his shirt and stood. “If it wasn’t for this label wanting us, I’d vote to kick your ass out right now. I’m so sick of it.”

“Don’t you ever fucking bring up Chloe like that again! She left me, just like you guys want to. If she were still here, I wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“So, you admit that you’re in over your head?” Eric asked.

“What? No! I just meant—”

“We know what you meant. Deny it all you want, but you need help,” Adam said as he walked to the door. He glanced back at Eric. “I’m out of here before I beat his head in.”

He slammed the door, leaving me alone with Eric. I ran my hands through my hair. I was at a loss for words. I had this under control, regardless of what they thought.

“You’ve lost control, Drake. I wish you could see that. You’re like a brother to me. As far as I’m concerned, you are my brother and it’s killing me to watch you go through this alone. I wish you would let us help you,” Eric said.

“I don’t need your help or anyone else’s. I’ve taken care of myself my entire life, and that isn’t going to change.”

“But you’re not alone, and I wish you could see that. Jade, Adam, and I all love you. Chloe does, too, even if she isn’t here to tell you.”

“You guys are my family, and I know you care, but you’re worrying over nothing. I wish you’d just leave me alone.”

“We aren’t going to leave you alone until you get help. You’ve got Jade scared to death. She’s afraid to even leave you on your own. A little bit ago, she came over here, and she was freaking out and worried about what you would do since you have a room to yourself.” He gave me a pointed look. “Obviously, she was right.”

“I’m not dealing with this right now. I’m going back to my room.” I stood and walked to the door. I was so sick of this shit. I wanted my friends back, not these crazy people who wouldn’t leave me alone.

I spent the rest of the night locked up in my room. Someone came to my door and knocked a few times. After hearing obscenities being shouted at me from the other side, I knew it was Jade, but I ignored her. She tried calling me a few times, but I ignored those as well. I just wanted to be alone.

It was well after midnight when I picked up my phone and started flipping through some of my pictures. I started with the first picture I had ever taken of Chloe and continued to go through them until I reached the last one. It had been taken only days before she’d left me. She had fallen asleep while we were on the bus, and I’d snapped picture after picture of her as she slept peacefully in my bunk. I’d thought that we’d be together forever, but as usual, things never worked out the way I’d planned. If I had known that she would be gone so soon after that, I would have crawled into that small bunk and held her tight.

I just hoped that she hadn’t run back to Jordan or Logan. I wasn’t sure how I would handle it if I ever saw her with either of them. She was mine even if she didn’t think so anymore, and I didn’t want Jordan or Logan touching her, kissing her, or holding her at night. As I imagined either of them in bed with her, I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Her body and soul were supposed to be mine and mine alone.

I plugged my phone in to charge it, and I threw the covers back on my bed. I had a huge day tomorrow, and I needed to get some sleep. I tossed and turned, unable to put my mind to rest. Now that the thought had popped into my head, all I could see was Chloe in bed with someone else. The picture Kadi had shown me of Chloe and Jordan in bed together was what had started all of this, and here I was again, going through the same hell as before.

I had finally managed to fall asleep around three in the morning, and when the alarm went off at six, I wanted to shoot myself. I barely managed to crawl out of bed and make it to the bathroom to turn on the shower. I wasn’t a morning person, and the time difference was really screwing with me. I stripped out of my boxers and stepped into the hot water. I just stood there as I let it fall around me. The heat and the water beating against my skin slowly started to wake me up. I stayed in there for far longer than necessary before stepping out and toweling off.

After getting dressed and ordering room service for breakfast, I walked to Eric’s room and knocked on the door. He opened it, looking tired.

“Rough night?” I asked as I walked into his room.

“Well, with Jade being here until well after midnight, it was kind of hard to sleep,” he grumbled.

“Oh,” I said, unsure of how to respond to that.

“Yeah, oh. She was worried sick about you when she found out what happened. She wanted to call the main desk and have them check on you, but I wouldn’t let her. That’s just what we need—the hotel informing Brad that we have a drug addict as the front man, and we were afraid he overdosed.”

“I wouldn’t overdose, dumbass.”

“You wouldn’t do it on purpose, but if you were pissed and decided to take more…well, you don’t know what could happen.”

I counted to ten in my head to keep my cool. “Let’s not start the day off by talking about this, okay? We have too much shit to get done.”

“You’re right, but I’m still pissed at you.”

“When aren’t you lately?” I grinned at him.

He shot me a dirty look. “I’m always pissed at you, and you can blame yourself for that.”

Someone knocked on the door, and he went to answer it. Jade and Adam were both standing on the other side. When Jade saw me, she pushed past Eric and ran toward me.

“Thank God! Why didn’t you answer your phone?” she asked, hugging me.

I shrugged as she released me from her death grip. “I just wanted to be alone for a while.”

“I was worried sick about you, Drake. Please don’t do that to me again.”

“I won’t. I promise.” I smiled at her.

“I’m holding you to that.” She frowned.

“I promised, didn’t I? Now, let’s get going. I’m sure Adam is waiting on us by now.”

“Let’s go.” Taking my hand, Jade led me out of the room and to the elevators. She didn’t let go until we were sitting in the back of the limo on our way to the studio.

Brad had told Eric that we wouldn’t need our instruments for the recording sessions because the studio had several to pick from. While I knew they would have the best of the best, it still made me uneasy to think I’d be playing a guitar that I wasn’t used to.