“And now?”
“Things are different now. I’ve grown up—grown past it.” Yeah, it had only happened in the last few days, but he was seeing this town in a different light. “What the hell does this have to do with anything?”
Drew shifted his grip on the steering wheel and took the turn onto I-99. “What it has to do with is the fact that you and Bri aren’t that different. She’s afraid of being abandoned the same way you’re afraid of always being thought of as Drunk Billy’s pyro kid.”
“Those things are nothing alike.” He’d wanted people to see him as he was now instead of the boy he used to be. Bri didn’t want people to see her at all.
“Jesus Christ, Ryan, I know they aren’t the same thing. My point is that maybe instead of condemning Bri you should try to be a little more understanding.”
“It’s impossible to be understanding when she’s shutting me out.”
Drew snorted. “Then you don’t deserve her.”
“You’re the shittiest advice-giver I’ve ever heard.” He didn’t deserve her? Not fucking likely. They’d created something special while they were together in that cabin, and he’d worked his ass off to convince her to open up enough to give him a chance.
“What do you want me to say? I saw your face when we walked in that room. I’ve never seen you lose your mind over a woman—any woman. So either you’re going to prove her right by making it a temporary thing, or you’re going to fight for her. Is she worth fighting for?”
It wasn’t even a question. He’d told her the truth before. Ryan had never met a stronger, more intelligent, more beautiful woman. Being with her made him feel as if a piece he’d never noticed was missing had fallen into place, as if he were finally whole.
But how was he supposed to fight for her when she was so busy fighting him ? He rubbed his chest. There was only one right answer to that. He had to convince her he wasn’t like the string of people in her life who’d left. He wouldn’t walk away, not while he still had the breath to argue. “You’re an ass—even if you might be right.”
“I’m your older brother. It goes with the territory.” Drew finally looked at him. “What are you going to do?”
“First, I need to get back to base and find out what’s going on. Once I have that settled, I’ll figure something out.” Because his brother was right. He’d never lost his mind over a woman before, and he’d be damned before he let her walk away without a fight.
Bri spent the next twenty-four hours in a fugue. She had no illusions about what she was doing, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Nothing interested her—not her books, not her library, not even the kids she made an effort to smile at despite how terrible she felt. All she wanted to do was curl in bed and sleep until her chest stopped hurting.
She picked up a book from the shelving cart and set it back down without opening it. God, what was happening to her? She couldn’t possibly have had her heart broken by a man she barely knew.
But no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, she couldn’t lie to herself. She knew Ryan. She felt for the kid he used to be—the child who had sought refuge from his horrible father in the middle of books, just like she had. The teenager who’d accidentally set fire to his school while saving a kitten. She felt for the man he’d become, too, but even more than that, she felt for the common thread between them she couldn’t ignore.
It didn’t matter. No matter which way things played out between them, it’d never work in the long run. It couldn’t.
So why was she having such a difficult time convincing herself she shouldn’t track him down?
The phone in her hand rang, startling a scream out of her. Bri pressed her hand to her chest and stared at the caller ID. Avery. Again. Her best friend had been calling ever since Drew took Ryan to the airport. She hadn’t been ready to talk then, and she sure as heck wasn’t ready now. With a sigh, she pressed the ignore button and set the phone aside.
“It’s rude to ignore your best friend’s calls.”
Bri screamed for the second time. “What the hell, Avery? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
She hopped onto the counter next to Bri and swung her long legs out. “That depends. How long are you planning on avoiding me? Because I’d hate to have to take drastic measures. I mean, I’m in a library right now. That’s pretty drastic.”
“I haven’t decided if I’m angry at you for the cabin thing. I need time.”
Avery rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. If you don’t know if you’re mad, you’re not.”
“That’s not how real life works.” In reality she’d let a man who could very well have been her Prince Charming walk away without a fight. The very thought, no matter how absurd, made her want to cry.
“Will it make it any better to know that Drew and I spent three hours picking through the damn place, making sure we found all the condoms we’d stashed? Because that was a giant pain in the ass. Also, informative. You guys used quite a few of them.”
Bri wanted to shake her friend, mostly so she didn’t have to consider the implications. Had they counted the missing condoms? “Are you even listening to yourself? You stranded me in the middle of nowhere with a strange man for three days .”
“Now you’re just being dramatic. It’s not like we picked up a hitchhiker and threw you two together. It’s Ryan. And you two were pretty damn cozy when you were crashing his Suburban into a stoplight.”
She realized it didn’t matter what she said—Avery wouldn’t listen. Bri vowed right then and there she’d get some sort of revenge on the Twosome, no matter how long it took.
“Speaking of Ryan, what the hell happened? You two went from being cuddled up in a very naked way to icy silence that managed to make even me uncomfortable.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Ever.
“Bullshit. Obviously something isn’t right and, if I know you—and I do—then it’s going to eat you up until you figure it out.”
She kind of hated Avery for knowing her so well. Bri crossed her arms over her chest and forced herself to meet her best friend’s gaze. “What’s your point?”
“My point is, hashing it out with me will help.” She motioned. “So, hash it out.”
As much as she wanted to be left alone to nurse her wounds, Avery had a point. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Don’t suppose you have beer stashed somewhere around here?” She laughed when Bri sent her a look. “Didn’t think so. Tea would be great.”
She led the way into the little back room she’d converted into a break room when she took over as head librarian. Mrs. Cleaver had used it to stash her in-progress knitting projects, but Bri bought a comfy little chair and a table for her automatic teapot. Going through the motions of filling the teapot and setting out mugs calmed her nerves. By the time she turned around, she was as ready as she’d ever be to have this conversation. She took a deep breath. “He left.”
Sympathy bloomed in Avery’s dark eyes. “Sweetie, it’s not forever.”
“Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. He’s running off to take over for a guy who might have died .” Who did die for all she knew. Her brain wanted to point out that this had been coming since the moment she met him, but she’d somehow convinced herself it would work out—right up until the moment it came time for him to say good-bye. “Even if we try to make something work, he’ll always leave. Maybe even for good.”
“Well, you can’t do anything about the last bit, but if you’re not willing to follow him to the ends of the earth, maybe you should give him a reason to stick around. He’s been looking for one ever since he left.”
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