Sylvia Day: Aftershock

His face revealed no expression, but something in his eyes changed. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because you’re afraid of me. Especially the way you feel about me.”

“Am I?”

“That, or your dad has you running scared. Which is it?”

“I’ve told you what he’s like,” Jax said softly.

That stopped my retreat. “I guess I have more faith in you than you have in yourself. I think you can take him on, Jax. I trust that you’d watch out for me.”

He laughed and it was a horrible, humorless sound. “You think I’d protect you from the big bad wolf?”

I stared at him, shocked, never having seen this bitter side of him. The next thing I knew, he had me in his powerful grip, his body curling into me and his face close to mine. He was impossibly beautiful. The most stunning man I’d ever seen. And he was seriously pissed.

“I am the big bad wolf, baby,” he growled. “You want to be with me? You want to be my girlfriend? You want to go to parties with me...events...have dinner with the family?”

“Yes!” I lifted onto my tiptoes. “I’m sick of being your booty call, Jax. You’ve got dozens of women for that. I deserve better!”

“Dozens? I’ve damn near been a monk since I met you! Two women, Gia. Two. And since you fucked two guys, you’ve got no room to talk. I’m entitled to those two, as pointless as they were.”

I gasped, horrified that he’d watched me close enough to know how many men I had slept with since we’d been apart.

“You want the whole deal?” he snapped. “Fine. Your life is about to change completely. Your privacy is a thing of the past. You’re going—”

“As if I had any privacy! My God, you’ve been stalking me for years. Are you—?”

“Gia, every questionable thing you’ve ever done is about to become tomorrow’s news. Your brothers’ lives are up for grabs, too. And that goes for your parents and friends, too. Go out in public and the photographers will follow. From how you vote to what you’re wearing, everything is fair game.”

I swallowed hard.

“You’re going to move in with me. You’ll be safe in my apartment, but I can’t say what your brothers will have to deal with. Or your sister-in-law. There’ll be security with you at all times. And I don’t want to hear about how inconvenient it is to constantly have someone with you, someone you’ll have to report your schedule to.”

“You can’t scare me,” I whispered, but it was a lie. My heart was pounding with anxiety. I had always been incredibly protective of my family. Whenever they were threatened, I came out swinging.

“Oh, I will,” he warned darkly. “You’ve had nothing but the best of me so far, but if you want it all, that’s what you’ll get. The good and the really fucking ugly.”

“Bring it on,” I challenged, getting angry again. He was deliberately being an ass.

“I travel a lot. You’re going to have some late nights that will bore you to tears, only to get up the next day to go to work. I’ll tell you what to wear, what to say, how to act. It’s what I do, Gia. Image is everything in politics and business, but you’ve already figured that out, haven’t you? You’ve laid a lot of the groundwork for me. Sometimes, I barely recognize you.”

I rebelled, yanking myself away from him. “Thank you, Jax,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’ve made the decision really easy for me.”

His mouth curled in a cruel smile. “Scared you off, did I?”

I was so frustrated with his crap, I wanted to scream. We’d never been nasty to each other. More than anything, I was desperate to put distance between us.

“I’d face all that and more for a guy who really loved me,” I told him coldly. “But I’m not putting up with this shit from a jerk.”

He looked ready to smash his clenched fist through the wall.

I waved toward the door. “Please leave, Jax. I don’t want to look at you right now.” Another lie. I would never get tired of looking at him. But I was tired of dealing with him. I’d wanted a break for a reason.

“I give it to you straight and you flip.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and cursed.

“No,” I corrected. “You wanted to scare me straight and you’re getting what you wanted. I’m settling for a fuck-only arrangement, but I’ll do so on my time, not yours. I’ll call you when I want you, so don’t bother calling me—I won’t answer. And stop popping up where I am. It’s creepy.”

“Damn it.” Jax stepped forward, reaching for me.

I backed up quickly. “Don’t touch me.”

His dark eyes bored into mine. “You might as well tell me to stop breathing. What the fuck do you want from me, Gia? I’m trying to give you what you’re asking for, and it’s still not enough.”

“Damn right! You set up all those pitfalls and didn’t leave me any way out. Why would I want to take the first step?”

“Living under a microscope is part of my life! I can’t change it.”

“You could’ve said something like, ‘Listen, Gia, sharing my life won’t be easy, but I love you. I’ll do the best I can to make sure our private life is worth the public hell.’ Or something like that!”

“Jesus.” He made a frustrated sound. “This isn’t a goddamned romance novel! I’m just a guy trying to give in to what you want so I can have you.”

As if. He knew what I wanted and he was fighting it all the way. “Well, now you can have your life and me—when I’m in the mood.” I held up a warning hand. “Not now. Believe me. I’ll call you when I get back to New York.”

“Fine. Whatever.” He pivoted and strode to the door, his back stiff and shoulders rigid.

There was still a part of me that wanted to cave, to drag him back and tell him to stay, to sleep with him and feel that incredible intimacy and sensual closeness I’d never felt with anyone else. But we had a lot of thinking to do and we needed time—and space—to do it.

Jax yanked the door open and stepped out to the hallway. I swallowed the words stuck in my throat and reached for my smartphone on the bed, using it as a distraction to avoid watching him leave.

I heard the door shut and closed my eyes, breathing out a shaky exhalation. We weren’t going to recover from this. This was going to change what we’d had. Forever.

“I...”

My lungs seized in surprise at the sound of Jax’s voice.

“I love you. Okay? I love you so much it’s driving me crazy.”

I reached for the desk chair, trying to support my weakened knees. I’d wanted to hear him say the words, but now that I had, they didn’t sink in. I didn’t realize how upset he was until his hands gripped my upper arms and he buried his face in my neck.

“I want you in my home,” he said softly. “I want to wake up to you, go to sleep holding you, to come home from work and eat dinner with you. I want what we had in Las Vegas, but things were different then. I had you all to myself. It’s not going to be that way now.”

I reached up with my right hand and set it over his left. “I get it. I can deal with it.”

“I hope so,” he murmured, turning me around. “Because I’m not going to be able to let you go after this, Gia. For better or worse, you’re mine.”

“IF YOU’RE STILL trying to scare me,” I whispered, overcome, “you’ll have to do better than that.”

Jax laughed softly, huskily. “I’m scared enough for both of us.”

He cupped my face, tilting it up to kiss me. The moment his firm lips touched mine, love pierced my heart, making it ache. I caught his waist, pushing up onto my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Heat and hunger slid through me, provoked by the beloved smell of him...the feel of his warmth and hard body...the taste of him.