Jennifer Probst - Searching for Perfect

He headed toward Mugs.

KENNEDY DRAGGED HER PALMS down her skirt and hesitated outside the door. Eating crow was not her favorite thing, but she’d crawl on her damn knees if he’d forgive her.

His car was parked outside. But when she knocked, it was Connor who opened the door, and his expression told it all. Pure dislike and judgment. Uh-oh. What had Nate told him? Everything? Pieces of it? Maybe she should start by apologizing to his sibling first. Oh, God, she sucked at this whole thing, so she opened her mouth and said the first word that came to mind.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He didn’t budge. “Nate’s not here.”

“Oh. Oh, okay. Can I come in for a minute?” He didn’t look happy, but he let her in. She didn’t have the patience to sit, so she paced back and forth in his small kitchen. “Do you know if he’ll be out long?”

Connor walked to the refrigerator, grabbed a beer, and kept his back turned. “Probably. He’s out with Mary.”

Ouch. She breathed through the panic that she was too late and definitely knew Connor was majorly pissed at her. Time for some truth. “I’m not sure how much Nate told you about us. You mean the world to him, and I was hoping we could talk. I’d like to explain what happened. Maybe get your advice?”

He tipped the beer back, swallowed, and faced her. A shiver wracked her body. Pure ice mixed with disdain gleamed in his eyes. She was in definite trouble. “No need to talk, I’ll give you my advice right away. You did a good job making him over. Also did a good job working him over. You almost broke him, you know that?”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I made a mistake. I need to make it right.”

“I called it from the beginning. Beautiful women think they rule the world. They take what they want with no thought to hurting someone, and then leave you in a broken pile at the door. Nate wanted to believe it could work. I warned him, but he took a chance and look what happened. Why are you back? To screw with his head some more?”

She began to shake. “I swear to God, I never wanted to hurt him. I got spooked. I’d never fallen in love before. I forced him to leave so I wouldn’t break his heart later, but I realized all this time, I was just afraid of him leaving me. I was a coward. I need to tell him the truth.”

“It’s too late.” He set his jaw as if making a decision. “He’s involved with Mary now. They’re sleeping together.”

The blood drained out of her as if a vampire had feasted and left only the shell. Too late. She was too late. She felt his brother’s gaze trained on her face, as if judging her reaction, but she didn’t care any longer. Her voice barely worked.

“Is he happy?”

“Yes. Don’t ruin it by coming back into his life. Just leave him alone.”

She managed to nod. He was right. Nate deserved his own brand of happiness, and if he had found it with someone else, it didn’t matter. Not the touch. Not her own broken heart.

He was sleeping with her.

Nausea lurched in her gut. She had had her chance, and she was too late. The least she could do was not swoop in and destroy something fragile, something that could be good for him and make him happy. Happier than she could.

She moved in a fog. Her hand paused on the doorknob. “Connor?”

“What?”

“I love him. He deserves . . . everything.”

Then she left.

NATE GOT TO THE restaurant and grabbed a table. Mary still wasn’t there, so he ordered his Darth Maultini. This time, the bartender didn’t question him, and he realized he was making Verily his home. Weird. He’d lived with his brother for all that time, closer to work and on the edge of Manhattan, but it never felt like home. Just a nice spot to rent.

Genevieve’s bungalow was warm and filled with a joyous vibe he’d gotten used to. The entire town had cast a spell on him. He loved taking a walk in the evenings and stopping for ice cream, or to people watch at the dog park. He’d purchased a gorgeous piece of art at the local gallery, and started to make casual acquaintances at the Purple Haze and Mugs. He even craved getting out of work on time, or at least, mostly. Wayne was getting a little pissy at his sudden longing for home, but he was playing with formulas and doing research outside the lab for the first time in his life.

Now if only he could fall in love with Mary.

A shadow fell over the table. “Hi, Nate.” Her smile was easy and warm, and he automatically stood up to kiss her, but she turned her head at the last minute so he only snagged her cheek. She slid into the booth and clasped her hands on the table that he’d already wiped down for excess crumbs. “How are you?”

“Good. You look pretty.” Her short blond bob was chic and sleek, framing a round face with bright green eyes. She was slim and fit, and favored more casual clothes such as jeans, T-shirts, and comfortable shoes. Much more his type. Much better than a fashionista who’d always outshine him in public events. This woman was more his match.

“Thanks.” Her gaze darted around the place, and he caught nervous vibes. Was she getting impatient taking it slow? Should he up his game tonight? They’d stuck to kissing and holding hands, never needing to go further, but maybe she was questioning his intentions? He remembered a Glamour article that said men needed to make a move by date four or the woman lost interest. What number was this? Six? Crap, he was way behind.

He slid his hand over and grabbed hers. She jerked a bit, laughed, and then busied herself with the menu. Yeah, this was heading south fast. Maybe he’d invite her back to his place and text his brother to leave. Nate fought back the nerves jumping in his stomach. He was good at sex. It would probably bond them and get him to the next level. Right?

His dick remained silent.

Nate cleared this throat. “I ordered you a glass of the Merlot you like.”

“That’s so sweet.” She looked up from the menu and sighed. “You’re a wonderful man. Do you realize that?”

“Thanks. Listen, why don’t we skip dessert and head back to my place after dinner? Spend some quiet time.”

She dropped the menu and closed her eyes. “We need to talk.”

He clearly remembered at least four blog posts on the worst things a woman could say was “We need to talk.” He tried not to panic. “Sure. You can tell me anything.”

“I’ve had a wonderful time dating you. Truly, when we met at the mixer, I thought we’d be good together. But I can’t see you anymore.”

Huh? He stared at her and tried to gather his thoughts. “Did I do something stupid?”

She laughed and squeezed his hand. “No, of course not! See, I met someone at work. And though you and I have a good time together, I don’t think there are the sparks needed to start a long-term relationship.” She bit her lip. “I hope you’re not mad. I truly believed nothing would happen with this man, but he let me know how he feels, and I need to take a chance. We decided to date monogamously, so I’m going to pull myself out of Kinnections.”

Her eyes sparkled with the flush of that first excitement of meeting someone who clicked with you. Someone who got you in every way. Someone you wanted to spend every spare moment with, and whom you missed, and who made you feel alive. Nate waited for the deep disappointment to hit for losing the woman who could’ve been his mate. Instead, relief sunk into his whole being and settled to stay.

Mary wasn’t for him.

He laughed then, because it was too damn ironic. “No, I’m not mad at all. In fact, I’m happy for you. You’re an amazing woman and he’s a lucky guy.”

She smiled. “You are one hell of a catch, Nate Dunkle. I hope the next woman in your life sees that.”