Jillian Dodd - Hate Me

“You should’ve had the guts to tell me yourself. And without your help I don’t have enough money to go through with it anyway! My plan—no, your plan —is ruined.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You just don’t get it!” I yell. And as soon as I say the words, I know they’re true. I realize that’s exactly the problem. Other than one horrible picture, B’s life hasn’t changed much. He’s not in hiding. He’s living his dream.

“What don’t I get?”

I calm down and use my bitch voice, hoping I can scare him into seeing how important this is. “Every move you make is on the internet, Brooklyn. The tour schedules. The photos. You might think you can just bow out, but you can’t. You screwed yourself when you thanked me. And that means she’s in danger too.”

“Don’t give me a guilt trip. I know you’re seeing someone too.”

“Yeah, but the difference is, I’m somewhere safe. You’re not .”

I hang up on him.

And feel very alone.

I sit in the cold stairwell staring at the floor until my phone buzzes, startling me.

Hottie God: Dallas and Riley want to take me somewhere tonight. You up for that?

Me: Uh, no. Not at all.

Hottie God: Are you tired?

Me: Yes, but I can’t sleep.

Hottie God: Then I’m coming over until you can.

Me: I’m kind of crabby.

That’s an understatement.

I roll my eyes at myself. I’ll just tell him not to come. That I’ll see him tomorrow.

Hottie God: I’ll rub your face like I did when you were sick.

Or not.

Me: I’ll be waiting.

I sneak into my room, unlock the window, and get under my covers.

A few minutes later, Aiden has his arms wrapped tightly around me, and my face is snuggled into his neck.

“You sound like you’ve been crying,” he whispers.

“Just, you know, family stuff,” I say, sort of telling him the truth.

“Tell me. Maybe I can help?”

“No one can help, Aiden,” I say pathetically.

He runs his hand over my tense neck muscles, kneading them gently.

“That feels good.”

“You’re stressed and I want to make you feel better. In the morning, I’ll be gone, but I want you to . . .”

You come to me.

7:14am

I’ve just hit snooze for the third time when there’s a knock on the door. I look over at Katie’s bed and see she’s already gone. I vaguely remember her mentioning a Spanish club meeting.

“Come in.”

Aiden walks in carrying a bag and a cup of coffee. He’s dressed in a pale green Oxford, making his eyes look even greener than usual. He sits on the edge of my bed.

“Brought you some breakfast.”

I sit up, pushing my messy hair out of my face.

He rubs his thumb across my cheek. “You seemed upset last night. I wanted to make sure today gets off to a good start.”

I close my eyes and press my face into his hand, which causes him to wrap his arm tightly around me.

“Shit,” I say, “it’s getting late and I need to get ready. Do you wanna stay here while I do?”

“Of course,” he says, sitting down at my desk.

I run into the bathroom, get ready quickly, then run into my closet and throw on a white blouse and my skort. I walk back into my room, looking for my black sweater, and find it draped over the back of the chair Aiden is sitting in.

He stands up quickly, pulls me into a hug, and then kisses me.

The perfect kiss. Soft. Slow. Sweet.

“Do you remember what I told you last night?”

“That you’d help me?”

“No, after that. About what you’re supposed to do this morning?”

I shake my head. “Sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”

“I thought so,” he says, kissing my nose. “I told you to wear the cowboy boots your grandpa gave you. That they’re lucky and they’d make you feel better.”

A lightbulb goes on in my head. Grandpa.

“Ohmigawd, Aiden, you’re brilliant,” I say with a big grin, running to the closet to grab my boots. “That’s exactly what I need.”

I come out of my closet wearing a smile.

“That’s what I like to see. You smiling,” he says.

I give him a long kiss, letting my body melt into his. “Thanks for coming over last night, and for breakfast. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m gonna have to bring you breakfast more often if I get kisses like that,” he says adorably.

“Come on, we better get to class,” I say, pulling away.

But he holds me firmly.

“But from now on, when you’re upset, you come to me, okay?”

I get lost in his sweet eyes and nod in agreement.

“You and me. That’s all we need,” he says, giving me another long kiss then leading me toward class.

Riley sits next to me in history and says discreetly, “So I talked to Cam last night. Asked how the hell we’re supposed to get stuff there. Get this. He told me to go back on Saturday night before curfew and all will be revealed.”

“All will be revealed?”

“I guess.”

“What did he say about taking other people there?”

“Pillowcase over the head unless you know one hundred percent that you can trust them.”

“So who do you think we can trust?”

He looks up toward the ceiling, thinking. “Aiden and Logan.”

“I’d agree. What about girls?”

“Girls are tricky. I trust Ariela but what happens if we break up? If it got ugly?”

“I don’t know. What about Peyton?”

“Maybe, but I definitely don’t trust Whitney.”

“Lets keep it small for Saturday night.”

“Do sort of a dry run and see how it goes?”

“Yeah, I think that would be smart.”

“You know, I was thinking that might be just the place to take Ariela on Sunday night.”

“I thought you were coming to dinner for Aiden’s birthday?”

“Well, it’s our one month anniversary, and I want it to be special. Like, I’m hoping it’s really special,” he says, lowering his voice.

“Ohhh, do you think you will?”

“I think so. And I’m going to ask her to Winter Formal.”

“How are you going to ask?”

“I bought her a Hello Kitty purse. Well, no, it’s not a purse—more like a tiny purse. Fancy.”

“An evening bag?”

“Yes, it’s all crystals.”

“She’ll love that.”

“I’m putting a note inside it that says, Please take Kitty and Riley to Winter Formal with you .”

“Ahh, that’s adorable, Riles.”

“Has Aiden asked you yet?”

“No. Do you think he will?”

“Yeah, don’t you?”

“I think we’ll go together, but I don’t know if he’ll do anything special . . .” I stop talking and chuckle quietly. “Actually, he will do something special. Everything he does is special.”

“You love Aiden,” Riley taunts.

I sigh.

“What’s the sigh for? Shouldn’t you be agreeing with me?”

“Sometimes life is just complicated.”

“Well, it’s about to get very uncomplicated, because all we’re going to be doing is hanging out in the . . . we need a code name for it.”

“Stockton’s. Remember? Stockton’s door.”

“Oh, yeah. Awesome. That’s where we’ll be. Party on, friends, evermore. I’m in love with that saying.”

I’d marry a pirate.

French

Before French starts, I send Sam an email with the changes I want made to my will. The most important change being that if something happens to me, Mom, and Tommy then Damian becomes executor and makes sure my sisters are well taken care of. I also noted the changes I told Cooper about. Taking care of his family if something happens to us both, as well as what to do if I die but Cooper doesn’t.