Amanda Jason: Lucky Number Four

“Are you sure she’s okay?” I hear Julie’s anxious voice.

“She’s just sick. I checked on her all day yesterday and last night, but I didn’t disturb her when I came home this morning since she was sleeping. She needs rest.” Jeff sounds defensive, and I really don’t have the energy to get involved with this discussion.

“You stayed out all night? What if she had fucking died?” Julie isn’t happy. No, she’s not.

“Jules, calm down. Jeff is taking good care of her.” It’s Kevin, the peacemaker.

“He should’ve called me yesterday. I could’ve taken care of her.”

“Yeah, right. It was Valentine’s Day.” Jeff’s getting offensive now.

“Okay, all three of you please talk quietly. I’m trying to get better here.” I finally open my eyes.

“Aww, honey, how are you feeling?” Julie grabs my hand like I’m on my way out.

“Just peachy, especially for someone that has the stomach flu. Maybe you guys should sanitize yourselves and stay away from me. I don’t want anyone else to suffer through this. What am I saying? Julie you’re pregnant. Get out of here. Go wash your hands and leave. You can’t get sick.”

I begin to worry that I may have sat up quickly when a queasy feeling washes over me, and yep, you guessed it. I didn’t make it to the toilet this time. Jeff is there, holding my hair and clucking like a mother hen.

“She’s right. Don’t worry, I won’t leave her until she’s better, so you two leave now.”

I can’t open my eyes. I’m so tired. Jeff helps me back into bed.

The room is dark when I wake up again. I guess Jeff was able to convince Julie and Kevin to leave, since I find myself here alone. My clock says it’s nine, and I’m thirsty.

Turning on the lamp, I see my water supply is nil. I grab a cracker and slowly sit up in the bed, swing my legs to the side of it, and drop my feet to the floor. So far, so good. Stomach isn’t rolling.

I stand up as Jeff walks in the door. My eyes meet his while I try to balance myself and I send him a weak smile. I suddenly feel dizzy and Jeff’s image begins to blur. I hear his voice ring out when I feel myself stagger before collapsing to the floor, and then nothing.

“Ms. Phillips? Dora, can you hear me? Please open your eyes.”

I don’t know this male voice, and my eyes can’t open because it’s too bright.

“Dora, wake up. It’s me, Jeff.”

Duh, Jeff. My mouth is so dry and my head is throbbing. I wish they would turn off the lights.

“Jeff, turn off the lights.” I’m croaking like a frog, wonderful.

“Ms. Phillips, I’m Dr. Banner. You gave your boyfriend and us quite a scare. You probably have a little headache from the bump on the head. Nurse, dim the lights so Ms. Phillips can focus on us.”

Boyfriend? Does he mean Jeff?

“Okay, it’s safe to open your eyes now.” The doctor’s voice is smooth and calming, and I do as he asks.

There’s a crowd surrounding my hospital bed—yes, I’ve figured out that’s where I am. Everyone is smiling but Jeff, who looks like he might pass out any moment. He moves closer, takes my hand and leans down to kiss my forehead which succeeds in bringing tears to my eyes.

“Dora, you had me so worried. I couldn’t catch you before you fell. I’m so sorry.” A tear trickles down his cheek and I let go of his hand to wipe it away with my finger.

“I’m okay, see? It’s not your fault.”

I hear a sigh and a young … I guess nurse, is looking at us with a dreamy smile.

“Doctor, I have Ms. Phillips’ test results.” Another older woman puts a piece of paper in his hand.

“Well, it’s as I thought, Ms. Phillips. You don’t have the stomach flu. You have morning sickness, or in your case, not just morning but a little more extensive. I’d say you’re about six weeks along. I’ll prescribe rest and a bland diet as tolerated. We’ve given you IV fluids to get you hydrated. I’m sure you and your boyfriend would like to be alone to digest this news.”

With that, he and his staff disappear around a green curtain. Jeff and I are left looking at each other in stunned silence.

Pregnant? Me? I can’t be. We used protection every time.

No, we didn’t. Not on New Year’s we didn’t. I was too anxious.

It’s all my fault. How could this happen?

“Dora, say something. You’re scaring me.” Jeff grabs my hand again and sits partially on my bed.

“Tell me this is a flu induced dream, and that I’ll wake up soon. I can’t be pregnant.”

Jeff just shakes his head. “Tests don’t lie, and it makes sense. You have no fever, Saltines calm your stomach, and you’ve been crying a lot more than usual lately. Yep, you’re totally pregnant.”

“What am I going to do? My mom is going to kill me. Never mind my grandmother, who will tell me if I had gone to finishing school, I’d have learned to keep my legs closed.”

I cover my eyes with my arm. I feel the beginning of a panic attack, which I’ve never had, but I think I’m about to experience one.

“Your mom won’t kill you, but you’re right about your grandmother. She won’t be happy, and you’ll be banned from the family.”

“Thanks for the pep talk. What am I going to do?”

Panic is starting to take over. My whole body starts to shake.

“Hey, now. Relax. Maybe it’s time to talk to Drew,” he says.

He lies down beside me, pulling me into his arms. I’m trembling uncontrollably, and he’s making soothing sounds and rubbing my non-IVed arm. I’m relishing the heat from his body, and the warmth seems to help. My panic button has seemed to have reset itself.

“Hmmrph. Excuse me, is she okay?” A fresh-faced nurse is staring at us, and I bet she’s wondering if it’s her job to tell him that he should get out of the bed. But she doesn’t say another word, just winks and leaves.

“Jeff, promise me something, and I mean really promise me, not just lip service.”

“Anything for you, Dora.”

He smiles, and I suddenly feel like I can do this. Other single women have babies and the children turn out all right. After all, I have seven and a half months to prepare. I’ll have to find a job to support us. Of course I have to finish school.

But what about my family? What kind of role model am I for Bridget and Taylor? Oh, hell, I start to shake again as the enormity of the situation hits me. I’m going to be someone’s mom.

“I’m waiting.”

“For what?”

“You said I have to promise, so I’m waiting to see what I have to promise you.”

“Oh, yes. Don’t roll your eyes. I’ve just realized I’m going to be someone’s mother. But I digress. Promise me you won’t tell Drew or anyone else until I’ve thought this through. You’ll have to cross your heart, pinky swear, and anything else you can think of.”

I feel his body vibrate and realize he’s laughing.

“Hey, it’s not funny,” I semi-yell at him.