Beth Hyland - Fall Into Forever

Give me a break. “Couples split up every day, Aaron. It’s called dating. If he couldn’t handle it, that was his problem, not mine.”

He narrows his eyes as he assesses me. I get the sense that he wasn’t expecting me to argue with him. “You like wearing the pants in a relationship, don’t you? Chase tried to teach you that life doesn’t work that way, but you wouldn’t listen. Does your new boyfriend let you talk to him like that? Does he enjoy being pussy-whipped?”

I don’t dignify his bullshit questions with an answer.

As I look at him and listen to his words, it becomes clear to me that I’ve been giving Aaron way too much power. Maybe my mom was right on some level. It’s easy to read words on a screen and think that there’s an intelligent human being on the other end making the claims. You think, what’s wrong with me? What did I do? When the real question should be, what’s wrong with him?

It’s easy to see the messenger for who he really is. A misogynistic, egotistical bully, just like his brother.

I may not be able to make Aaron go away online, but my attitude about the power he has over me has changed. Unlike back home, I have people here who support and care about me. People who believe me. People who will protect me. I will not let him intimidate me again.

“Chase thought that if you got pregnant,” Aaron says, “you’d settle down.”

Pain spears through my temples, but I try to ignore it. “As in barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen, catering to his every desire?”

Aaron smiles. “Yeah. Something like that.”

I can’t take it any more and laugh. Right in his face. “Last time I checked, it’s the twenty-first century, dickwad, not the fifties.”

In a flash, he grabs me by the wrist. “Think that’s funny?” I try to jerk away, but he holds on tight. “You know what would’ve been goddamn funny is if Chase’s plan had worked.”

“What plan?”

“Don’t you know? He was sabotaging the condoms, trying to get you pregnant.”

“What?”

Condoms?

Pregnancy. Baby. Marriage.

My legs turn to rubber as a white-hot pain splits my head open. Aaron lets go and I fall to my knees.

I can see it now. It all comes back to me in rush of memory.

We’d been at a party out on Miller Quarry Road. People were hanging out, laughing, talking. Music blaring. I’d broken up with Chase earlier, but he wanted to talk.

We walked out to his car and before I knew it, he shoved me inside and took off. He told me he loved me and couldn’t stand the thought of me ever being with someone else. When I told him to take me back to the party, he told me not to be stupid. And when I demanded to know where he was taking me, he just laughed. It became clear that he’d been planning this. I had visions of him locking me up again somewhere, but for longer than a weekend. Cut off from my family and friends. Cut off from anyone else but him.

Then, as I cowered in the passenger seat, trying to figure out how to get away from him, he admitted he’d been poking holes in the condoms in order to get me pregnant. That way, if I were carrying his baby, I’d never be able to leave him. He would always be in my life.

That’s when I told him I’d been on the Pill since high school. One time I thought I was pregnant, which had really freaked me out, so Deena and I drove to a neighboring town, went to Planned Parenthood and I got on birth control.

Chase totally flipped out. Screamed at me. Called me a fucking whore and a cunt.

He reached over and grabbed me by the hair.

And then…

Tires screeching against pavement.

Then metal.

More screaming. Me this time.

Sparks.

Breaking glass.

Flying.

From somewhere above me, a female voice pulls me back to the present. I’m down on all fours, staring at the sidewalk.

I didn’t kill Chase. I know that now for sure. He did it to himself.

I wasn’t the one driving, as Aaron likes to suggest, and I didn’t grab the steering wheel. Chase was the one who’d almost killed me, and in the process, he killed himself.

Dani helps me to my feet and asks if I’m okay. I nod then instantly regret moving my head. It feels like my skull is about to split apart.

“What did you do to her?” Dani points to Aaron accusingly.

Aaron holds up his hands like he’s Mr. Innocent. “We were just talking. We know each other from back home, right Ivy?

Before I can respond, I hear loud footsteps coming up from behind, then Jon steps out in front of Dani and me.

“What the hell is going on?” he demands. “Ivy, are you okay? I saw Dani—” His gaze bounces between Aaron and me then turns ice cold. “Who is this asshole?”

“I’m…fine.” My voice wavers. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but I don’t want things to escalate any worse than they already are.

Dani tells him what she saw.

A white-hot anger flashes in Jon’s eyes, like they did when he confronted his father backstage, and he takes a menacing step toward Aaron. “You fucking touched her?”

“Whoa, dude, relax. I know her.”

“Ivy?” Jon doesn’t take his gaze off of Aaron.

Taking a deep breath, I gather my courage. I need to deal with this. I can’t sweep it under the rug and pretend that everything’s all right. This needs to come out in the open. It’s gone on long enough. “He’s the one who’s been harassing me online. This is Aaron. Chase’s brother.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks. “Dani,” he says calmly, like the eye of a storm with chaos ready to erupt. “Take her back to her room. I have some business to take care of.”

Panic shoots through me. He can’t do anything to jeopardize his standing here at school. A fight off campus is one thing. But here? In front of the dorms?

I glance around, noticing for the first time that other people are watching as well. A few of them have their camera phones out. No matter what he does or where he goes, he always draws a crowd.

“Jon, please. He’s not worth it.”

“Maybe not, but you sure as hell are.”

My heart swells in my chest, ready to split into a million pieces. Jon Priestly is my everything and I’ve been lost this week without him. He’s my spirit. My soul. My strength when I have none. I need him like the air I breathe. And I’m about to lose him again.

Jon flexes his fists. Aaron must’ve figured he was going to get punched, because he ducks to the side. Jon lunges, but instead of hitting him, he grabs Aaron’s arm and twists it up behind him. The guy drops to his knees and howls in pain.

I cringe, expecting him to go MMA and start wailing on Aaron any second. “Jon, please, no. I don’t want another fight.” I’d seen too many. Chase once beat the shit out of someone because he thought the guy was hitting on me.

Jon hesitates, shoots a glance in my direction, then frowns.

“You’ve worked too hard and overcome too much to have it fall apart.”

“But I won’t let him get away with what he’s done to you.”

I point at Aaron. “ That’s not your future.” Then I sweep my arms wide, looking at the surrounding campus and the people gathered around us. “This is.”

“You’re wrong, Ivy,” he says through clenched teeth. “None of it matters.

My heart sinks. I put my hand to my forehead. I don’t want to see this.

“None of it matters to me more than you. And our future together.”

I jerk my head up as he hauls Aaron to his feet.

“But I’m not going to let him get away with this.” There’s something different in his expression now. The anger has turned to determination. “Did I tell you, Ivy, that PSU’s Athletic Director is a fan of my show? We became friends when I played football. He’s the one who put in a good word for me at the station. I think he’ll be very interested to learn that one of his baseball recruits has been stalking and harassing one of PSU’s female students.” He looks at the crowd as if he’s known they were there the whole time. “Don’t you think so?”