Kendall Ryan - When I Break

“Other than you?” he asked, his brows pinched together as though he was the one angry about something.

I nodded.

He released a deep sigh and looked down. A thick, uncomfortable silence settled between us. My heart slammed against my ribs and with each second of his silence, my doubts only grew.

“She’s pregnant, you know.”

His eyes snapped up to mine. “Who?”

“Amanda,” I croaked.

He didn’t respond at first. He just sat there, silently blinking at me. “I know.”

If he was still doing what he used to, I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t move past it. Selfishly, I needed all of him. I needed him to be stronger because I most certainly was not strong enough for this. He was breaking me apart and I didn’t even think he knew it.

“I thought I could do this. I thought I was strong enough, but I’m not. Not at all.” A hiccup escaped my throat as I realized everything I’d be losing. Instead of constantly beating myself up, I’d focused on fixing Knox. And now I had no idea what good that had done me or where we stood.

“I can’t stand by and watch you use random girls and then cuddle with me at night like everything is fine.”

Angry hands tore through his hair, leaving it standing in disarray. Our happy memories of just last night seemed like so long ago. “You think this is a surprise for me? I told you I’d fuck this up.”

I hated hearing him admitting defeat, for not fighting for this—for me. When he was ready to change and grow, he would. I’d wanted to be part of his growth process, but it seemed I hadn’t been. I wasn’t the girl to change him.

“I’m not right for you. I’m all hard edges and a mistake-riddled past. I’m too fucked up for someone like you. You have to see that. No amount of counseling or talking will fix the shit I’ve done, McKenna. You should leave while you can.”

I was quiet while he spoke, my head empty and my heart in tatters. Knox was trouble; I should say good-bye and move on with my life. I needed to stop playing house with him and his brothers before it was too late.

I just didn’t want to.