Heather Burch - One Lavender Ribbon

Adrienne answered her with a gentle nod and quiet words. “Yes, I am.”

Sammie rushed back out and slumped into a chair at the table.

Adrienne sat across from her. “I just decided this. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you about it yet.”

“You know what I think?” Sammie countered, hurt lacing her words. “I think this is a cop-out. I think you’re scared to stay here because of Will, and you’re running away.”

Adrienne toyed with the edge of the salmon-colored place mat. “Maybe.”

Sammie leaned forward. “You love him, and you’re scared you’ll give in if you’re here. So you’re just going to remove yourself from the threat.”

She was right. And Adrienne couldn’t deny it. She also wouldn’t change it. “My mind is made up, Sammie.”

Sammie heaved a sigh. “Can I tell you how I feel about this?”

Adrienne smirked. “I thought you just did.”

“When you came here, you said you wanted to work on who you are as a person. You wanted to be a stronger woman. And over and over I’ve watched you make tough decisions and burst through layer upon layer of weaknesses. But this isn’t one of those times. Now, when there is something on the line, something really worth fighting for, you’re just shrinking back into that old cocoon. It won’t fit anymore, Chicago. It’s a coffin. And now that you’ve grown, it’s too small. It will suffocate you. And it won’t take very long.”

Coldness snaked through Adrienne’s veins.

Sammie brushed at her skirt with frustration. “You have no idea how often I’ve envied you. You’re young, you’re beautiful, you’ve got so much going for you. But, I gotta tell ya, Chicago. I’d rather be a used-up, broken-down coffee-shop owner that lived life to its fullest than a young woman who refuses to live at all.”

Adrienne threw up her hands. “That’s what I’m trying to do. Live my life.”

Sammie pressed her palms against the table. “Look, I’m not trying to scold you. I just think that he continued to grow and you stopped.”

“What do you mean?” She’d grown. Was growing, changing, becoming the kind of woman she wanted to be.

Except, maybe she wasn’t.

Maybe all these decisions about taking her life in her own hands, steering her own ship really was a cop-out. It nearly killed her to sit at the table with Will and watch Pops and Sara on the balcony of the restaurant. All of them happy, moving forward while she . . . well, was her decision to sell and move an attempt to outrun the pain? The memories that were so fresh here? When she looked at the ocean from her back deck, all she saw was Will and Pops. She envisioned catching fish and throwing crab claws on their kitchen floor. When she walked upstairs, all she saw was Sara walking around with a book on her head, instructing Adrienne how to be a lady. All these things were just ghosts—ghosts from a past that had nothing to do with her future.

It didn’t matter that it hurt so bad. She wasn’t quitting. A quitter would curl up inside herself, inside her shell, and never come back out. Adrienne was trying to move on. Wasn’t that brave? At least a little? Sammie’s insulting words stung. “What do you mean he kept growing and I stopped?” There was a bite to her tone that she wouldn’t apologize for or feel bad about. Sammie was out of line.

“You told me that you were going to give Will time to change. You said that his big hang-up was that he didn’t deal with things, and he just let them fester. His parents being the biggest wound. But he’s made peace with that. He’s even made the choice to embrace Pops’s past, though it’s painful to both of them. Kiddo, the young man has jumped through hoops.”

Adrienne stared blankly at her.

“For you. He wasn’t asking to grow, but he made the choice to when you confronted him with it. You came here to grow, but now you’re running away.”

Adrienne wanted out. Sammie couldn’t understand. No one could.

She shrugged. “So he got mad when you did something that could have ultimately caused a lot of pain. Big deal. You took a risk with people you barely knew, but these are also people he’s fiercely devoted to. How else should he react? You sort of set the precedent, don’t you think? Then he reconciled with his parents. And instead of appreciating all he went through, you slammed the door in his face.”

Shock kept Adrienne from breathing. Everything around her was going dark, the haze closing in on her field of vision until all she could see was the woman she called friend .

Sammie suddenly stood from the table. “You know what? I’ve said all I’m going to say. You’re still letting Eric run your life. I feel sorry for you, Adrienne.” And Sammie left.

Adrienne stared at the bowl of fruit that sat in the center of the table. The apples were going bad. Tracing the ugly, brown spots, she reached over and plucked them one by one from the basket. The oranges still looked good. She loved the oranges here. She loved the selection of fresh tropical fruit that was available at the grocery store on the corner and the farmers market in the parking lot every Saturday morning downtown.

Her eyes scanned the house. This house. Her house. The one she’d found while searching “property for sale, Florida Gulf Coast.” Adrienne had made the offer with her entire being screaming to back out. There was strength within her that—though buried under the dirty blanket of Eric’s abuse—had been unearthed. She’d given the house time, love, and a fair portion of her blood. It had all been worth it. She could let it go. After all, it had given to her as well. She had learned she could make it on her own. She was strong. And even though she loved this house, loved this town, and, heaven knew, she’d fallen in love with several people here, she’d be okay. Without a second thought, she tossed the apples into the trash. Besides, Tallahassee had grocery stores too.

The morning of the rehearsal, the day before the wedding, Adrienne’s nerves were pounding out their own rhythm. She wanted everything to go perfectly. It will , she kept telling herself as she willed the butterflies from her stomach. Mary Lathrop had called her to say they had an offer on the house, but Adrienne couldn’t be bothered with that right now. Two weeks ago, she’d received the acceptance letter from the culinary school but was shocked at her own lack of enthusiasm over it. It was what she had wanted. She should be excited.

It’s the wedding , she decided. She and Sara had spent countless hours on every detail, and in all honesty, Adrienne was tired. That was the reason for the lack of enthusiasm. Once she got some rest, she’d be excited about her new adventure. Of course she would.

Adrienne stepped into the ballroom and gasped. Though she’d been there late the night before, putting on the finishing touches, she’d been too tired to appreciate the space as a whole. Her energy had gone into things like adjusting a spray of white lilies until they were just right and spreading a shimmering white rope along the edge of the seats to let guests know where to sit.

Was this really the same room she’d barely noticed last night? Shades of white from warm winter to soft, billowy cotton were repeated in every portion of the decorated space. The elegance of her surroundings made her smile. It was perfect, and Pops and Sara were going to love it.

The rehearsal went smoothly, with gushing remarks from each new person who entered the room. Sara hugged her, thanking her and telling her that if she’d had a daughter, she would have wanted her to be just like Adrienne.

But Sara seemed reluctant to let go and hung there for a moment, arms draped over Adrienne’s shoulders. When the older woman released her, Adrienne scanned her eyes. Though Sara was trying to hide it, Adrienne could see the exhaustion on Sara’s face. It was masked by the quick smile that sparkled, but beyond the façade, there was desperation.