Kasie West - On the Fence

I reached behind me blindly, hoping he’d help me out. It didn’t take him more than a second to put his hand in mine. “We’re together,” I said.

I wasn’t sure who started the outburst, but soon they were all talking at once and it wasn’t to congratulate us. Jerom was the first on his feet, and he said, “How dare you take advantage of her right now?” His cold stare was on Braden. They all seemed to stand up in unison after that.

I held up my hand before someone else said something hurtful. “Stop. He is the only one who had the guts to even hint that something more happened with Mom. So don’t you dare act like he is taking advantage of me.”

Jerom fisted his hands. “It sure seems that way.”

“I’m not breakable. Don’t you all get that? I can handle things. I can make my own decisions. This didn’t happen today. I’ve liked him for a while. We just admitted it today.”

“I love her, guys,” Braden said.

Nathan stepped forward like he was going to give Braden’s black eye a match. My dad grabbed him by the arm. “That’s enough, boys,” he said, and everyone went quiet. “I’ve asked this young man to keep an eye on Charlie on numerous occasions. How is it fair to now say I don’t trust him?”

I could feel the tension drain from Braden next to me.

My father looked at Braden and in a chilling voice said, “You better not betray my trust.”

“No, sir.”

“Then it’s settled. But you’re still grounded until the party, Charlie.” He looked at Braden. “So get out of here.”

Braden had never been kicked out when I was grounded before. But he’d never been mine before, either. I squeezed his hand and he left. As soon as the door shut, my brothers’ smiles were back.

“I wondered when he’d say something.”

“It was so obvious.”

“But, Charlie,” Gage said, “I had no idea you felt the same.”

I nodded, and they continued to talk about who knew what and when. Then one by one they all went quiet. It was the first time we’d all been in the same place at the same time since I found out about my mom. I had been avoiding this.

I looked at my dad. “I think it’s time we all talked about Mom. Together.” I grabbed the box full of pictures from beneath the table. I was still beyond angry with her, but I knew the first step to getting through that was to learn more about her from the people who knew her better than I did.

I sat on the couch and opened the box. They all still stood there, staring, like I had asked them who wrote Pride and Prejudice . Then Gage snatched a picture from the box and held it up. “This was the day that Nathan pushed me into a tree because he said I was cheating at hide-and-seek. Mom totally took my side, by the way.”

“You were cheating. You always cheat,” Nathan said, sitting next to me and reaching in for a stack of pictures. My brothers all had their hands in the box now and were talking over one another again. I looked up and saw my dad standing there, staring at the pile of pictures on the table. She was in most of them. His expression was hard and it seemed he too was still angry with my mom. But then he met my eyes and his whole aura lightened with a smile. It seemed to say She gave me you, Charlie, and I’ll always love her for that. That was a lot for an aura to say, but I was sure Linda would’ve agreed.

Iheld my breath and walked into Bazaar. I’d waited too long to come in, but I was here now. Linda looked up from where she stood behind the register.

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. There was no good excuse for my lie. I took a few steps closer when she didn’t respond. “I think my aura is blue today.”

That got a small smile out of her. “I don’t understand, Charlie.”

“I don’t either. I guess I just didn’t want you feeling sorry for me. It’s been so long since I’d met someone who didn’t already know my mother was gone.” I didn’t feel like Linda needed to know the specifics of my mom’s death. That was something between my family and me. But she didn’t deserve the lie I’d told her. Nobody did.

“Are people not allowed to feel sorry for your loss?”

I shrugged. “I’m not good with feelings, apparently.”

She approached me and I tensed up, waiting for her lecture or for her to tell me to leave or . . . something. She looked me up and down. “You can’t work dressed like that.”

“I . . .” I glanced down at my basketball shorts. “I can still work here?”

She placed her hands on my arms in a soft touch, then met my eyes. “Charlie, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

My eyes went hot. “Me too.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thank you.”

“I got these new silky tops in the last shipment that would look fabulous on you. Do you want to add to your work wardrobe since you didn’t bring any clothes?”

I nodded. “I need some jeans, too . . . or a skirt.”

Her head snapped up to look at me and I laughed. I hadn’t planned on working today, but I didn’t want to quit. She retrieved the shirt and a pair of jeans and took them to the register. I followed her. Amber’s display of makeup stood in a tall hutch next to me. On a whim, I grabbed some shiny lip gloss and plopped it on the counter.

Linda raised her eyebrows at me but didn’t say a word as she rang it up with my clothes.

I paid and tucked the clothes against my chest. “We’re having a barbeque at my house tomorrow evening. We do it every year before school starts.”

“I don’t have you on the schedule for tomorrow.”

“No. I was inviting you. Will you come?”

She smiled then. “Yes. I’d love to come.”

“Good.” I headed to the back to change.

Toward the end of my shift Skye poked her head in from the back room. “Charlie! Come to the beach when you get off. Impromptu bonfire concert.”

“Can’t. I’m grounded.”

She laughed. “Bummer. Next time, then.”

“Yes. I’m having a party at my house tomorrow. Will you come?”

“Absolutely.” She disappeared into the back. I smiled. It was amazing what happened when you let yourself be open to new things.

I loved our end-of-summer parties. Everyone was back in town from vacation, and people were excited to have one last event. They came in packs. There were at least fifty people in my backyard. Even more this year. I shut my curtains and turned back to face Amber.

She had talked me into letting her do my makeup for the event. She pointed out that I didn’t have to wear this much all the time, but it was always nice for special occasions. I let her, because she was right. It was nice to step out of my comfort zone every once in a while.

“You look great,” she said as I pulled my hair up in an elastic band.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

She giggled to herself then said, “You hated me at that baseball game, didn’t you?”

“What? No.”

“I was there with Braden, fawning all over him, talking about how cute he was.”

“Okay, maybe a little.”

She laughed. “Well, I never stood a chance. Did I ever tell you about how when you went away to basketball camp he talked about you nonstop?” She deepened her voice and then said, “‘Charlie loves golf. If Charlie were here she’d order meat lover’s pizza. Charlie hates romantic comedies.’” She smiled. “It all worked out in the end, though, because Gage is a better match for me anyway.”

I laughed. “Come on, let’s go down.”

“Okay.”

We stepped into the backyard. My dad and Jerom manned the barbeque. Nathan and Gage threw a football back and forth in the far corner of the yard. People swam and ate and talked. I was so happy.