Molly McAdams - Sharing You

“Regardless, it was still a gift. You could at least say thank you! Every time I buy something you get upset. At least I’m giving you something—all you’ve ever done is take from me.”

With that, she turned and stormed down the hall to her bedroom, leaving me crushed, aching, and once again so damn tired of this. I rubbed my chest, where the constant dull ache was now stabbing, and fell into one of the kitchen chairs.

Not more than ten minutes later, she was back and bouncing through the kitchen. “Hey, babe! What do you want for dinner?”

I wasn’t even surprised by this anymore; I’d just been waiting until she came back. “It’s after midnight, Liv. I’m not really hungry.”

“Did you already eat dinner? I’ll heat some of this up.” She murmured the last part to herself as she continued to pull takeout boxes from the fridge.

“Yeah, earlier tonight.”

“Oh.” She slammed the fridge door shut and turned to look at me. “All right, I get it. I can’t have kids, so I’m not good enough to heat up food for you. Yeah, fine, Brody. Feed your damn self.”

And here she goes again .

My wife hadn’t always been like this—and despite how it seems, she’s not crazy—and our relationship hadn’t been like this either. We’d been high school sweethearts, and then I’d left for the Army right after we graduated and everything changed. I came back home to visit after a deployment, and though we had stayed together, Liv and I weren’t close anymore. I knew why she’d stayed with me, but I hadn’t cared either way. She was someone to come back to when I visited my family.

Her parents hated me, and they let me know it every time they saw me. I wasn’t good enough for their daughter because I wasn’t going to college and didn’t come from money like they had. My family wasn’t poor by any means—we’d grown up in a great house in a great neighborhood. But we weren’t dripping with money, and we didn’t belong to the country club that Liv’s parents did. So apparently that meant we were trash. Olivia loved that her parents didn’t accept me, and I knew that was the only reason we’d stayed together as long as we had. But like I said, I didn’t mind.

I had a year left in the Army when my world changed. She called me crying, saying she was pregnant. I’d requested emergency leave as soon as we got off the phone and married her the minute I got home. Her parents were furious—hell, so were mine—but no way was I going to let her go through that alone. I couldn’t take care of her like her parents did, but I’d take care of her the best I could.

It took a lot of people high up pulling strings, but I was able to get us a house on base for as soon as I got back. Only thing was, she refused to go back to the base with me. Basically said thanks for marrying her and she was going to stay with her parents until I decided I was done “playing Navy.” Shit you not. And I wasn’t even in the Navy.

I couldn’t get leave often, but even when I did, she still didn’t see me. Didn’t even try. When I’d ask her, she’d say, “What’s the point? We’re already married.”

Yeah. Married and I haven’t seen you since two days after the fact.

The only thing she did include me in was the baby. After every appointment she sent pictures of the ultrasound, and she’d let me help her pick out a name. I’d gotten the message the minute she went into labor and received more pictures after he was delivered. The next time I got leave she still refused to see me and wouldn’t let me see our son. Instead, I stood outside her parents’ house and called her, only to find out that if I wanted to see either of them, I wouldn’t reenlist and I’d move back to Jeston.

So that’s what I did. When it came time to reenlist, I declined and moved back. Bought us a house—it wasn’t much, and her dad let me know that all the time—but I’d bought it and that’s all that mattered. Once I had it furnished, I called her, and she finally let me meet my son for the first time.

“Brody!” Olivia snapped, and I blinked away the best day of my life. She held out her hand momentarily to show she was on the phone before continuing. “Daddy said he’d pay you back for the couches, since obviously with your pay you can’t afford what I need to be happy.”

My eyes narrowed. It was almost 12:30 in the morning, and she was calling her dad to talk to him about the damn couches? I rubbed the sharp pain in my chest and pushed away from the table before standing up. “He can keep his money, I don’t want it. Good night, Olivia.”

“BABY, ARE YOU awake?”

I sat up in my bed less than an hour later and rubbed a hand over my face. “Uh, yeah. What’s up, Liv?”

“I’m so sorry!” She burst into tears and crumpled to the floor.

Aw hell . I hopped out of my bed and went over to her. Sliding down until I was sitting up against the wall, I pulled her onto my lap. “It’s okay, you just have to stop spending our money like that.”

“B-but the c-couch we had w-was three years old! The Cunninghams never have couches three years old.”

“I know, but ours was still a perfectly good couch,” I crooned softly. “Just because your parents and the Cunninghams can refurnish their entire houses every few years doesn’t mean we can, all right?”

She nodded vigorously. “I just—I just needed something to do.”

I took a deep breath in and scrunched my face together as I prepared for what might happen next. I knew this could turn out bad again, but I had to try. “Maybe we should get a dog.”

“A dog? A damn dog ? No! You can’t just give me a dog and make it all better, Brody!” She scrambled off my lap and sprinted down the hall, heading for her side of the house.

Yes, I said her side of the house. I normally don’t even see her because she prefers to spend her days at her parents’ house unless she’s in a mood like the one tonight. It usually lasts a week, as this one has, and we go through every emotion possible about fifteen times a day. I try to be patient with her because I know I’m the reason she’s like this, but after four and a half years of this constant happy-depressed-flirty-pissed-horny-sweet-flat-out-bitch roller coaster, I feel like I’m losing my damn mind. And what’s worse? As soon as we’re in public she’s normal Liv—not the Liv I fell in love with in high school, but the one who’s confident in herself and her parents’ money, and the one who will eat you alive if you cross her.

Her door slammed shut, and I stood to stumble over to my bed, thankful again that I was able to buy a big enough house that we could have our own spaces. We’d been married for almost six years, and I could count on one hand the number of times we’d had sex in those years. We hadn’t even slept in the same bed since a few months after I got back from the Army.

As I tried to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep, I rubbed at the ache in my chest and prayed the nightmares stayed away.

Kamryn

May 5, 2015

“KINLEE, YOUR HUSBAND thinks I’m a freak now.”

“Did he not before?”

“Funny,” I mumbled drily. “I just burst out laughing as soon as I saw him because I thought of y’all’s crazy sex life.”

Kinlee froze with the boxes of cupcakes still in her hands. “Did you just say y’all’s ? I’m adding that to wald and shew . Where’d you say you were from again?”

“East of here.” I smirked. We were almost on the coastline of Oregon. Everything was east of here. To avoid her narrowed eyes, I took the boxes back from her and started arranging the cupcakes in the holders I’d brought with me.