Деймон Раньон - Delegates at Large

But when we arrive in town one of the first things Snooksy tells us is that we must not go around rodded up except when he tells us, as it seems that being rodded up is against the law in Chicago, especially for strangers, so instead of the old equalizer what does Harry find in his hip pocket but a bottle of good beer.

And when Harry finds this bottle of good beer in his hip pocket, he also remembers about another bottle of good beer in the side pocket of his coat, so he outs with both these bottles of good beer, holding one in each hand by the nozzle, and starts waving them around to get a good windup on them before dropping them on some nearby noggins.

Well, personally I always consider this action most unfortunate, as it seems the bottles of good beer give Miss Maribel Mario a wrong impression of Harry the Horse, especially as one of the bottles suddenly pops open with a bang, what with the good beer getting all churned up from the waving around, and the foam flies every which way, some of it flying over Miss Maribel Mario, who speaks to Harry the Horse as follows:

"Oh," she says, "so you are one of the enemy, too, are you?" And with this, Miss Maribel Mario hauls off and whacks Harry over the noggin with the New York sign, busting the sign staff in two pieces, and knocking Harry out into the aisle, where the big guy with the Illinois badge walks across Harry's chest, with Colorado, Indiana, New Mexico, California and Georgia following him one after the other.

Personally, I consider Miss Maribel Mario's action very unladylike, especially as it causes a great waste of good beer, but when I visit Harry the Horse in hospital the next day he does not seem as mad at her as he is sorrowful, because Harry says he learns she makes a mistake, and he says anybody is apt to make a mistake.

But, Harry says, it ends all his ideas of romance because he can see that such mistakes are bad for a guy's health, especially as this one mistake gives him five broken ribs, a broken collarbone, a cauliflower ear and internal injuries. Harry says his future will be devoted entirely to getting even with the big guy with the Illinois badge, although, he says, he will not take this matter up until after we dispose of the business for which we are invited to Chicago.

But Snooksy, who is present at this discussion, does not seem to think there will be any business for us. In fact, Snooksy states that our hosts are disappointed in the outcome of our visit.

"You see," Snooksy says, "the big guy who assaults Harry is nobody but Donkey O'Neill himself, in person, and," Snooksy says, "the chances are, if he ever sees Harry again he will break his legs as well as his ribs. So," Snooksy says, "my people think the best thing you can do is to go home as soon as you are able, although," he says, "they are greatly obliged to you, at that."

Now (Little Isadore says) you know the story of our trip to Chicago, and what happens out there.

"But," I says to Little Isadore, "what is this convention of which you speak, a Republican or a Democratic convention?"

"Well," Little Isadore says, "I never think to ask, and anyway, this is not worrying me one way or the other. What is worrying me," he says, "and what is also worrying Harry the Horse and Spanish John, is that Angle the Ox may hear the false rumor that is being circulated in Chicago that we try to break up a demonstration in the convention, in favor of beer because of Harry the Horse's love for Miss Maribel Mario. You see," Little Isadore says, "it seems that Miss Maribel Mario is one of the most notorious Drys in this country."