James Cain - The Baby in the Icebox and Other Short Fiction

Well, a whole book could be written about how a woman blocks passes when she doesn’t mean to play. If she slaps your face, she’s just a fool, and you might as well go home. If she hands you a lot of stuff that makes you feel like a fool, she doesn’t know her stuff yet, and you better leave her alone. But if she plays it so you’re stopped, and yet nothing much has happened, and you don’t feel like a fool, she knows her stuff, and she’s all right, and you can stick around and take it as it comes, and you won’t wake up next morning wishing that you hadn’t. That was what she did. She didn’t pull away, she didn’t act surprised, she didn’t get off any bum gags. But she didn’t come to me either, and in a minute or two she leaned forward to pick up her glass, and when she leaned back she wasn’t inside of my arm.

I was too sick in my mind though, and too sure I had her sized up right for a trollop, to pay any attention to that, or even figure out what it meant. It went through my mind, just once, that whatever I had to do, down at the bank, I was putting myself in an awful spot, and playing right into her hands, to start something I couldn’t stop. But that only made my mouth feel drier and hotter.

I put my arm around her again, and pulled her to me. She didn’t do anything about it at all, one way or the other. I put my cheek against hers, and began to nose around to her mouth. She didn’t do anything about that either, but her mouth seemed kind of hard to reach. I put my hand on her cheek, and then deliberately let it slide down to her neck, and unbuttoned the top button of her dress. She took my hand away, buttoned her dress, and reached for her drink again, so when she sat back I didn’t have her.

That sip took a long time, and I just sat there, looking at her. When she put the glass down I had my arm around her before she could even lean back. With my other hand I made a swipe, and brushed her dress up clear to where her garters met her girdle. What she did then I don’t know, because something happened that I didn’t expect. Those legs were so beautiful, and so soft, and warm, that something caught me in the throat, and for about one second I had no idea what was going on. Next thing I knew she was standing in front of the fireplace, looking down at me with a drawn face. “Will you kindly tell me what’s got into you tonight?”

“Why — nothing particular.”

“Please, I want to know.”

“Why, I find you exciting, that’s all.”

“Is it something I’ve done?”

“I didn’t notice you doing anything.”

“Something’s come over you, and I don’t know what. Ever since I came in the bank today, with Bunny Kaiser, you’ve been looking at me in a way that’s cold, and hard, and ugly. What is it? Is it what I said at lunch, about my having sex appeal?”

“Well, you’ve got it. We agreed on that.”

“Do you know what I think?”

“No, but I’d like to.”

“I think that remark of mine, or something, has suddenly wakened you up to the fact that I’m a married woman, that I’ve been seeing quite a little of you, and that you think it’s now up to you to be loyal to the ancient masculine tradition, and try to make me.”

“Anyway, I’m trying.”

She reached for her drink, changed her mind, lit a cigarette instead. She stood there for a minute, looking into the fire, inhaling the smoke. Then:

“...I don’t say it couldn’t be done. After all, my home life hasn’t been such a waltz dream for the last year or so. It’s not so pleasant to sit by your husband while he’s coming out of ether, and then have him begin mumbling another woman’s name, instead of your own. I guess that’s why I’ve taken rides with you every night. They’ve been a little breath of something pleasant. Something more than that. Something romantic, and if I pretended they haven’t meant a lot to me, I wouldn’t be telling the truth. They’ve been — little moments under the moon. And then today, when I landed Kaiser, and was bringing him in, I was all excited about it, not so much for the business it meant to the bank, which I don’t give a damn about, or the two-dollar-and-a-half raise, which I don’t give a damn about either, but because it was something you and I had done together, something we’d talk about tonight, and it would be — another moment under the moon, a very bright moon. And then, before I’d been in the bank more than a minute or two, I saw that look in your eye. And tonight, you’ve been — perfectly horrible. It could have been done, I think. I’m afraid I’m only too human. But not this way. And not any more. Could I borrow your telephone?”

I thought maybe she really wanted the bath, so I took her to the extension in my bedroom. I sat down by the fire quite a while, and waited. It was all swimming around in my head, and it hadn’t come out at all like I expected. Down somewhere inside of me, it began to gnaw at me that I had to tell her, I had to come out with the whole thing, when all of a sudden the bell rang. When I opened the door a taxi driver was standing there.

“You called for a cab?”

“No, nobody called.”

He fished out a piece of paper and peered at it, when she came downstairs. “I guess that’s my cab.”

“Oh, you ordered it?”

“Yes. Thanks ever so much. It’s been so pleasant.”

She was as cold as a dead man’s foot, and she was down the walk and gone before I could think of anything to say. I watched her get in the cab, watched it drive off, then closed the door and went back in the living room. When I sat down on the sofa I could still smell her perfume, and her glass was only half drunk. That catch came in my throat again, and I began to curse at myself out loud, even while I was pouring myself a drink.

I had started to find out what she was up to, but all I had found out was that I was nuts about her. I went over and over it till I was dizzy, and nothing she had done, and nothing she had said, proved anything. She might be on the up-and-up, and she might be playing me for a still worse sucker than I had thought she was, a sucker that was going to play her game for her, and not even get anything for it. In the bank, she treated me just like she treated the others, pleasant, polite, and pretty. I didn’t take her to the hospital any more, and that was how we went along for three or four days.

Then came the day for the monthly check on cash, and I tried to kid myself that was what I had been waiting for, before I did anything about the shortage. So I went around with Helm, and checked them all. They opened their boxes, and Helm counted them up, and I counted his count. She stood there while I was counting hers, with a dead pan that could mean anything, and of course it checked to the cent. Down in my heart I knew it would. Those false entries had all been made to balance the cash, and as they went back for a couple of years, there wasn’t a chance that it would show anything in just one month.

That afternoon when I went home I had it out with myself, and woke up that I wasn’t going to do anything about that shortage, that I couldn’t do anything about it, until at least I had spoken to her, anyway acted like a white man.

So that night I drove over to Glendale, and parked right on Mountain Drive where I had always parked. I went early, in case she started sooner when she went by bus, and I waited a long time. I waited so long I almost gave up, but then along about half past seven, here she came out of the house, and walking fast. I waited till she was about a hundred feet away, and then I gave that same little tap on the horn I had given before. She started to run, and I had this sick feeling that she was going by without even speaking, so I didn’t look. I wouldn’t give her that much satisfaction. But before I knew it the door opened and slammed, and there she was on the seat beside me, and she was squeezing my hand, and half whispering: