Филиппа Карр: The Black Swan

He said, “We’re looking after him.”

“You think... ?”

“We’ll do our best,” he added vaguely yet meaningfully. Then I knew that Roland was very badly hurt. He had taken the bullet which had been meant for me. They came in later and asked me whom they could notify.

I gave them Celeste’s address, Rebecca’s and Belinda’s... then I added Joel’s.

I thought, they will come to me. And I felt a certain peace.

In the late afternoon the sister came and sat by my bedside.

She said, “It’s your husband. He’s asking for you.”

I tried to get out of bed, but she restrained me. “No... no. Don’t try to stand.

We’ll take you to him. He ... er ... is very ill.”

“Is he dying?” I asked.

“He’s not really in a state to see you. But he is very agitated and the doctor thinks that in the circumstances ... it might be best.”

“Then please take me to him at once.”

They wheeled me into the small room where he lay. He looked quite unlike himself.

“Roland ...” I said.

He opened his eyes and I saw the joy in them.

I looked appealingly at the nurse and she said, “I’ll leave you. Only a few minutes, mind.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Lucie...” Roland was smiling at me. “Dear Lucie... you came.”

“Of course I came.”

“There’s not long for me,” he murmured.

I did not answer. I took his hand which was lying limply on the coverlet and pressed it.

He smiled. “You see ... I love you,” he said. “I ... I couldn’t do it.”

“Don’t talk if it’s painful, Roland.”

“I have to. You must know. I’m the brother of Fergus O’Neill.”

“You! Then Phillida is his sister.”

“It was for the cause... freedom for our country. We all believed it was right.

We’d all worked for it ... my father... the whole family.”

“Your father was dead. You told me so. He and your mother died together in the accident.”

“No ...no. He is one of the leaders of our cause. We... his children, have always been brought up to work for it. We intended to kill you when Fergus was hanged. Revenge, you see, and to show the world that our heroes are not to be treated as common criminals. They are the martyrs and must be avenged. Then we thought of this other plan. You were rich. I would marry you and then stage your suicide. The money which I would inherit would come to us ... to the cause. It seemed amusing to them that the money of our enemies should be used to support our cause. It would be used to bring about the extermination of other enemies.”

“It can’t be ...”

“You don’t understand, Lucie. We are dedicated ... all of us. And I was until ... and it will not be the last time... except for me. We wanted the money.” He smiled wryly. “It’s an expensive operation to run. Trips to France... houses in the country. When we found that the money could not come to us ... it was tied up in some trust ... we had to change the plan. We were going to kill you at once. You remember the fire. Phillida was good with her herbs. Her nightcaps were used so that, if she wanted to send you into a deep sleep at any time, she could do so and it would all seem quite natural. At other times they were quite harmless.” My thoughts went back to that night when Belinda had drunk the draught prepared for me. If she had not, of course, I should not have awakened in time to save myself. I murmured, “Belinda saved my life.”

“Yes. If she had not taken the nightcap you would have been in a deep sleep and would not have awakened until it was too late to save yourself... perhaps not at all.

I was not to be in the house. We had arranged that. I think it was then that I began to realize how much I loved you. When I saw you in London... expecting you to be dead ... I was so happy, so overjoyed. I realized then what you meant to me.”

I was living it all again... seeing Belinda... sleeping deeply throughout that night.

I said slowly, “So there was never any connection with the wool trade in Bradford?”

“It was the background we had set up. I was to marry you, make sure that I would be in possession of your fortune... and then we were going to kill you. It could not be a straightforward execution. That would have been too dangerous for us. We had to stage a suicide. With a victim so close it was taking a great risk. We had to plan very carefully. We knew you were going to France through the maid with whom one of our workers had become friendly. It was easy to get the information out of her.”

I remembered then. Amy, I believe was her name. And there was the man who had “delivered documents.” How meticulously they had laid their plans! Roland went on, his voice becoming a little slurred, “The police in England are aware of our family... the O’Neills... not the Fitzgeralds. Phillida did most of the ghosting. She was very good at it. I did it once, Lucie. I am ashamed to tell you. Kitty did the last one. She is one of us, of course. I hated doing it, Lucie. But I had to do it. It was the plan....”

“It is all becoming clear to me, now,” I said.

“We could not have done it that way if it had not been for Joel Greenham’s disappearance and reported death. If you had refused to marry me we should have had to make other plans... but the thought of getting our hands on all the money seemed an opportunity not to be missed.”

“It seems incredible.”

“If you knew more of our organization you would realize that things which seem incredible are a matter of course. Phillida has always been more dedicated than I, and she was very close to Fergus. He was our father’s favorite, too. He was the adventurous one. He loved what he was doing for its own sake as well as the cause. He brought a touch of melodrama into it.

Phillida is like that, too. I was different. In a way they despised me. They will more than ever now.”

“You did this,” I said. “You made all these plans... and yet at the end you saved my life.”

He said simply, “Yes... but you see, I grew to love you, and that was more important to me than anything else.”

I sat very still. My throat was constricted so that for a moment I could not speak.

At length I said, “Roland... what will happen now?”

“To me?” he said. “I am going to die.”

“They are caring for you here, doing everything they can to save you.”

He shook his head. “What could they save me for? It is better so “

He lay back. His eyes were closed and there was a blue tinge about his mouth. I realized then what a great effort he had made to talk to me.

I sat watching him, thinking, he has given his life for me. He, the terrorist, who had planned to murder me in a most devious way, has saved me... with his own life. And all for love.

His lips were moving. His speech was slurred. It had been such a strain for him to talk but he had wanted to explain to me. He had not wanted me to discover through other means. And ... he had wanted me to know how much he had cared for me. What a strange life he must have had! He had given me a glimpse of his forceful family.

His father the stern revolutionary... and Phillida who was made in the same mold. She was a complex creature. She had appeared to be so kind to me, so friendly, always merry, a little insouciant, loving life. But how different she was in truth... setting herself a purpose, never diverging from it. I was to be her victim, and all the time she was professing affection she was planning to murder me. When I thought of her now I remembered on the peaceful lake, and the sudden realization that he was waiting for me to come near to the lake before he attacked me. I had come too close to Phillida and she had marked me down for destruction.