Nora Roberts: Best Laid Plans

"Will you tell me something?" Abra began. "Straight?"

"I'll try."

"Will you tell me what happened? Every time I try to talk to Cody about it he changes the subject, evades or gets angry. I can remember most of it, but it's patchy."

Jackie started to evade, as well, but then she looked into Abra's eyes. Eyes that strong, she decided, deserved the truth. "Why don't you tell me how much you remember?"

Satisfied, Abra relaxed. "We'd gone out to the site, then into the main building. It was still dark, so Cody went out to the car for a light. I was looking around. You know about the switch in materials?"

"Yes."

"When I was alone and looking around, I saw what I took at first for a bunch of drywall compound. It was plastic explosive. I ran for the door." She half lifted her casted arm. "I didn't get there."

Jackie realized she'd been right about the strength. It wasn't fear she saw but determination, laced with what she imagined was a healthy dose of frustration.

"Cody was still outside when the building went up. He managed to get through and find you. I don't know the details about that-he doesn't talk about it-but it must have been terrifying. He managed to drag you out. He told me he thought you were dead."

"It must have been horrible," Abra murmured. "Horrible for him."

"Abra, he's blaming himself for what happened to you."

"What?" She shifted, fought off a twinge of pain and struggled to sit up straighter. "Why should he?"

"He has the idea that if he had dropped the ax on Thornway straight off…if he hadn't wanted to go out there that night… if he hadn't left you alone in the building. If."

"That's stupid." She found the control button and brought the head of the bed up.

"What's stupid?"

Jackie glanced over as Cody walked in. She rose and moved over to pat his cheek. "You are, honey. I'll leave you two alone. Where's Nathan?"

"Took a side trip to the nursery."

She laughed and patted her belly. "I'll join him."

"I like her," Abra said when they were alone.

"Jack's hard not to like." He handed her a rose, careful, as he had been careful for days, not to touch her. "You've got a roomful of flowers, but I thought you might like to have one to hold."

"Thanks."

His eyes narrowed. "Something wrong?"

"Yes."

"I'll get the nurse."

"Sit down." She gestured impatiently toward the chair. "I wish you'd stop treating me like an invalid."

"Okay. Want to take a quick jog around the block?"

"You're a riot."

"Yeah." But he didn't sit. Restless, he roamed the room, stopping off by the table, which was loaded with flowers. "You got some new ones."

"Swaggart and Rodriguez. They called a truce long enough to bring me carnations. They were fighting when they left."

"Some things never change."

"And some things do. You used to be able to talk to me, and to look at me when you did."

He turned. "I'm talking to you now. I'm looking at you now."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous." She pushed herself up, wincing. Cody's jaw tightened. "You come in here every day, every night."

"I must be furious to do that." He walked to her with some idea of helping her settle comfortably.

"Stop it." She took an ill-tempered swipe at his hand. "I can do it myself. A broken arm's not terminal."

He nearly snapped back at her before he bit down on temper. "Sorry."

"That's it. That's it. You won't even fight with me." She gestured with her cast, which was crisscrossed with signatures. "All you do is pat me on the head or hover over me or ask me if I need anything."

"You want to go a couple rounds, fine. We'll take it up when you're on your feet."

"We'll take it up now, damn it. Right now." She pounded a frustrated fist on the bed. She couldn't even get out of bed by herself and pace off the rage. "You've treated me like some kind of slow-witted child these last few days, and I've had enough. You won't even talk to me about what happened."

"What do you want?" The strain that had stretched his emotions to the breaking point finally snapped. "Do you want me to tell you what it was like to see that building go up and know you were inside? Do you want me to describe to you what it was like to crawl through what was left, looking for you? Then to find you half buried, bleeding and broken?" His voice rose as he strode toward her, and he gripped the rail along the side of the bed, his fingers white. "Do you want me to go over how I felt waiting in this damn place, not knowing if you were going to live or die?"

"How are we going to get beyond it if we don't?" She reached for his hand, but he snatched it away. "You were hurt, too." Her own temper and frustration broke free. "Don't you know how it makes me feel to see your hand, your face, and know it happened because you went back for me? I want to talk about it, damn you. I can't standing lying here and trying to reconstruct it."

"Then stop." He waved his hand and sent a pitcher flying. There was some small satisfaction in hearing the plastic hit the wall. "It's over and it's done. When you get out of here we're not going to look back. You're never going to put me through anything like this again. Do you understand?" He whirled back to face her. "I can't stand it. I want you out of here. I want you back with me. I love you and I'm sick of lying in bed at night and sweating through what might have happened."

"What didn't happen," she shouted. "I'm here, I'm alive, because you saw to it. You didn't cause this, you jerk. You saved my life. I love you too much to sit here and watch this eat at you. It's going to stop, Johnson. I mean it. If you can't come in here and treat me normally, don't come at all."

"Stop this." A nurse hurried in. "We can hear you arguing all the way down-"

"Get out!" both of them shouted in unison.

She did, shutting the door behind her.

"You want me to leave, I'll leave." Cody stalked toward the bed again, this time sending the railing down with a crash. "But not before I have my say. Maybe I do blame myself for this. And that's my business. You're not going to sit there and tell me how I should feel or what I should feel. I've played along with your way of doing things too long already."

Abra set her chin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"No strings, no commitment, no long-term plans. Isn't that the way you set things up?"

"We agreed-"

"I'm through agreeing, and I'm through waiting until the time's right, the place is right, the mood's right. Did you hear what I said a few minutes ago? I said I loved you."

"You didn't say it." Abra frowned down at her hands. "You yelled it."

"Okay, I yelled it." He sat beside her, barely controlling the urge to shout again. "Now I'm saying it, and I'm saying you're going to marry me. And that's the end of it."

"But-"

"Don't." His temper vanished so abruptly that he could only press his fingers to his eyes. "Don't push me now."

"Cody, I-"

"Just shut up, will you?" He dropped his hands, thinking-hoping-he'd regained control. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, a shouting match with you flat on your back. It seems whenever we plan things out it doesn't work. So here it is, Red-no plans, no design. I need you. I want you to marry me, to come back east and live your life with me."

She looked up and took a long breath. "Okay."

With a half laugh he rubbed his hands over his face. "Okay? That's it?"

"Not exactly. Come here." She held out her arm and took him to her. For the first time in days he held her as if he meant it. "You probably heard what I said a little while ago, about being in love with you."

"You didn't say it." His lips curved with a combination of pleasure and relief as he pressed them to her neck. She was warm and very much alive, and she was with him. "You yelled it."