Nora Roberts: Lawless

“Damned hardheaded man,” Maggie muttered from the doorway.

“So he thinks he can just ride off,” Sarah said between her teeth. “Well, Jake Redman is in for a surprise. I need a horse, Maggie. And a rifle.”

He’d thought it through. He’d had nothing but time to think over the last weeks. She’d be mad, he figured. He almost smiled. Mad enough to spit, he imagined, but she’d get over it. In time she’d find someone who was right for her. Who was good for her.

Talking to her wouldn’t have helped. He’d never known a more stubborn woman. So he’d saddled up and ridden out of Lone Bluff the way he’d ridden out of countless towns before. Only this time it hurt. Not just the pain from his still-healing wound, but an ache deeper, sharper, than anything that could be caused by a bullet.

He’d get over it, too, he told himself. He’d just been fooling himself, letting himself pretend that she could belong to him.

He’d never forget how she’d looked, kneeling in the dirt with his gun in her hand. His gun. And there had been horror in her eyes. He’d taught her to kill, and he wasn’t sure he could live with that.

The way he figured it, she’d saved his life. The best he could do for her was return the favor and get out of hers.

She was rich now. Jake remembered how excited Lucius had been when he’d come to visit, talking on and on about the mine and how the gold was all but ready to fall into a man’s hands. She could go back east, or she could stay and build that big house with the parlor she’d told him about.

And he would…he would go on drifting.

When he heard the rider coming, instinct had him wheeling his horse around and reaching for his gun. He swore, rubbing his hand on his thigh, as Sarah closed the distance between them.

“You bastard.”

He acknowledged her with a nod. There was only one way to handle her now, one way to make certain she turned around and left. Before just looking at her made him want to crawl.

“Didn’t know you could ride, Duchess. You come out all this way to tell me goodbye?”

“I have more than that to say.” Her hands balled on the reins while she fought with her temper. “Not a word, Jake, to me, to anyone? Just saddle up and ride out?”

“That’s right. When it’s time to move on, you move.”

“So you’re telling me you have no reason to stay?” “That’s right.” He knew the truth sometimes hurt, but he hadn’t known a lie could. “You’re a mighty pretty woman, Duchess. You’ll be hard to top.”

He saw the hurt glow in her eyes before her chin came up. “That’s a compliment? Well, you’re quite right, Jake. I’ll be very hard to top. You’ll never love another woman the way you love me. Or want one,” she said, more quietly. “Or need one.”

“Go on back, Sarah.” He started to turn his horse but stopped short when she drew the rifle out of its holster and aimed it heart-high. “You want to point that someplace else?”

For an answer, she lowered it a few strategic inches, smiling when his brow lifted. “Ever hear the one about hell’s fury, Jake?”

“I get the idea.” He shifted slightly. “Duchess, if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather you pointed it back at my chest.”

“Get off your horse.”

“Damn it, Sarah.”

“I said off.” She cocked the lever in two sharp movements. “Now.”

He leaned forward in the saddle. “How do I know that’s even loaded?”

“How do you know it’s loaded?” She smiled, brought it up to her eye and fired. His hat flew off his head.

“Are you crazy?” Stunned, he dragged a hand through his hair. He could almost feel the heat. “You damn near killed me.”

“I hit what I aim at. Isn’t that what you said I should learn to do?” She cocked the rifle again. “Now get off that horse before I shoot something more vital off you.”

Swearing, he slid down. “What the hell are you trying to prove with all this?”

“Just hold it right there.” She dropped to the ground. Giddiness washed over her, and she had to lean one hand against her mount.

“Sarah-”

“I said hold it right there.” She shook her head to clear it.

“Are you sick?”

“No.” Steady again, she smiled. “I’ve never felt better in my life.”

“Just crazy, then.” He relaxed a little, but her pallor worried him. “Well, if you’ve a mind to kill me after spending the better part of a month keeping me alive, go ahead.”

“You’re damn right I kept you alive, and I didn’t do it so you could leave me the minute you could stand up. I did it because I love you, because you’re everything I want and everything I intend to have.

Now you tell me, you stand there and tell me why you left.”

“I already told you. It was time.”

“You’re a bar. Worse, you’re a coward.”

Her words had the effect she’d hoped for. The cool, almost bored look in his eyes sizzled into heat. “Don’t push me, Sarah.”

“I haven’t begun to push you. I’ll start by telling you why you got on that horse and rode away. You left because you were afraid. Of me. No, not even of me, of yourself and what you feel for me.” Her chin was up, a challenge in her eyes as she dared him to say it was untrue. “You loved me enough to stand unarmed in front of a madman, but not enough to face your own heart.”

“You don’t know what I feel.”

“Don’t I? If you believe that, you’re a fool, as well as a liar.” The fresh flash of fury in his eyes delighted her. “Don’t you think I knew every time you touched me, every time you kissed me?” He was silent, and she drew a long breath. “Well, you can get on that horse and you can ride, you can run into the hills, to the next town. You can keep running until you’re hundreds of miles away. Maybe you’ll be fast enough, just fast enough to get away from me. But before you do you’re going to tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“I want you to tell me you love me.”

He studied her. Her eyes glowed with determination, and her cheeks were flushed with anger. Her hair, caught by the wind, was blowing back. He should have known then and there that he’d never had anywhere to run.

“A man’ll say most anything when a woman’s pointing a rifle at his belly.”

“Then say it.”

He bent to pick up his hat, slapping it against his thighs twice to loosen the dust. Idly he poked his finger through the hole in the crown.

“I love you, Sarah.” He settled the hat on his head.

“Now do you want to put that thing away?”

The temper went out of her eyes, and with it the glint of hope. Without a word, she turned to secure the rifle in the holder. “Well, I had to threaten it out of you, but at least I heard you say it once. Go ahead and ride off. I won’t stop you. No one’s holding a gun on you now.” She wouldn’t cry. No, she swore to herself she wouldn’t hold him with tears. Fighting them back, she tried to struggle back into the saddle. He touched her arm, lightly, not holding, when he wanted more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life to hold her. “I love you, Sarah,” he said again. “More than I should. A hell of a lot more than I can stand.” She closed her eyes, praying that what she did now would be right for both of them. Slowly she turned toward him, but she kept her hands at her sides. “If you ride away now, I’ll come after you. No matter where you go, I’ll be there. I’ll make your life hell, I swear it.”

He couldn’t stop the smile any more than he could stop his hand from reaching up to touch her face. “And if I don’t ride away?”

“I’ll only make your life hell some of the time.” “I guess that’s a better bargain.” He lowered his head to kiss her gently. Then, with a groan, he crushed her hard against him. “I don’t think I’d’ve gotten very far, even if you hadn’t shot at me.”