Джорджетт Хейер: Charity Girl

“Well, I will, then,” promised Desford. “But not just at this moment, if those ducks are not to be overroasted!”

“Oh, no, no! Whenever it is perfectly convenient to you!” Christian stammered.

He then went off to his own bedchamber, more than ever convinced that Des was a bang-up fellow, not by half as top-lofty as his own brothers; and filled with an agreeable vision of stunning these censorious seniors by appearing before them in a neckcloth which they must instantly recognize as being slap up to the mark.

When the Viscount went back to the drawing-room, he found that the party was rather larger than his aunt had led him to expect, for besides the persons she had mentioned, it included Miss Montsale; both the married daughters of the house, with their spouses; a rather nebulous female of uncertain age, in whom he vaguely recognized one of Lady Emborough’s indigent cousins; and the Honourable Rachel Emborough, who was the eldest of the family, and seemed to be destined to fill the roles of universal confidant, companion of her parents, wise and reliable sister of her brothers and sisters, and beloved aunt of their offspring. She had no pretensions to beauty, but her unaffected manners, her cheerfulness, and the kindness that sprang from a warm heart made her a general favourite. And finally, because Lady Emborough had discovered almost at the last moment that her numbers were uneven, the Honourable Clara Emborough had also been included. This damsel, who had not yet attained her seventeenth birthday, was not considered to have emerged from the schoolroom but, as her mama told the Viscount: “It don’t do girls any harm to attend a few parties before one brings ‘em out in the regular way. Teaches ‘em how to go on in Society, and accustoms ‘em to talking to strangers! Of course I wouldn’t let her appear at formal parties until I’ve presented her! And I can depend on Rachel to keep an eye on her!”

The Viscount, who had been watching Rachel check, in the gentlest way, Miss Clara’s mounting exuberance, intervene to give her brothers’ thoughts a fresh direction when an argument which sprang up between them threatened to become acrimonious, and attend unobtrusively to the comfort of the guests, said impulsively: “What a good girl Rachel is, ma’am!”

“Yes, she’s as good as wheat,” agreed Lady Emborough, in a somewhat gloomy voice. “But she ain’t a girl, Desford: she’s older than you are! And no one has ever offered for her! Heaven knows I shouldn’t know what to do without her, but I can’t be glad to see her dwindling into an old maid! It ain’t that the men don’t like her: they do, but they don’t fall in love with her. She’s like Hetta Silverdale—except that Hetta’s a very well-looking girl, and my poor Rachel—well, there can be no denying that she’s something of a Homely Joan! But each of them would make any man an excellent wife—a much better wife than my Theresa there, who is so full of whims and crotchets that I never expected her to go off at all, far less to attach such a good bargain as John Thimbleby!”

Aware that Mr Thimbleby was seated well within earshot, the Viscount shot an involuntary glance at him. He was relieved to see a most appreciative twinkle in this gentleman’s eye, and to receive from him something suspiciously like a wink. He was thus able to reply to his aunt with perfect equanimity: “Very true, ma’am! But there is no accounting for tastes, you know! However, you’re out when you say that Hetta has no suitors! I could name you at least four very eligible partis whom she might have had for the lifting of a finger. Indeed, when I saw her this morning I found her entertaining two more of them! Perhaps neither she nor my cousin Rachel wishes to become a mere wife!”

“Gammon!” said her ladyship crudely. “Show me the female who doesn’t hope for marriage, and I’ll show you a lunatic past praying for! Yes, and if you wish to know what I think—not that I suppose you do!—you’re a shuttlehead not to have married Hetta when I daresay she was yours for the asking!”

The Viscount was annoyed, and betrayed it by a slight contraction of his brows, and the careful civility with which he said: “You are mistaken, my dear aunt: Hetta was never mine for the asking. Neither of us has ever wished for a closer relationship than that of the friendship we have always enjoyed—and, I trust, may always enjoy!”

As little as Lady Emborough resented the quiet checks her husband imposed upon her exuberance did she resent a deserved snub. She replied, laughing: “That’s the hammer! Quite right to give me a setdown, for what you do is no business of mine! Emborough is for ever scolding me for being too wide in the mouth! But, wit-cracking apart, Desford, isn’t it time you were thinking of matrimony? I don’t mean Hetta, for if you don’t fancy each other there’s nothing to be said about that, but with Horace still in France, and Simon, from all I hear, sowing even more wild oats than your father did, in his day, I can’t but feel that you do owe it to your father to give him a grandson or two—legitimate ones, I mean!”

This made the Viscount burst out laughing, and effectually banished his vexation. “Aunt Sophronia,” he said, “you are quite abominable! Did anyone ever tell you so? But you are right, for all that, as I’ve lately been brought to realize. It is clearly time that I brought my delightfully untrammelled life to an end. The only difficulty is that I have yet to meet any female who will both meet with Papa’s approval, and inspire me with the smallest desire to become riveted to her for life!”

“You are a great deal too nice in your requirements,” she told him severely; but added, after a moment’s reflection: “Not but what I don’t wish any of my children to marry anyone for whom they don’t feel a decided preference. When I was a girl, you know, most of us married to oblige our parents. Why, even my bosom-bow in those days did so, though she positively disliked the man to whom her parents betrothed her! And a vilely unhappy marriage it was! But your grandfather, my dear Ashley, having himself been forced to contract an alliance which was far from happy, was resolute in his determination that none of his children should find themselves in a similar situation. And nothing, you will agree, could have been more felicitous than the result of his liberality of mind! To be sure, there were only three of us, and your Aunt Jane died before you were born, but when I married Emborough, and Everard married your dear mama, no one could have been more delighted than your grandfather!”

“I am sorry he died before I was out of short coats,” Desford remarked. “I have no memory of him, but from all I have heard about him from you, and from Mama, I wish that I had had the privilege of knowing him.”

“Yes, you’d have liked him,” she nodded. “What’s more, he’d have liked you! And if your father hadn’t waited until he was more than thirty before he got married to your mama you would have known him! And why Wroxton should glump at you for doing exactly what he did himself is something I don’t understand, or wish to understand! There, you be off to play billiards with your cousins, and the Montsale girl, before I get to be as cross as crabs, which they say I always do when I talk about your father!”

He was very ready to obey her, and she did not again revert to the subject. He stayed for a week in Hampshire, and passed his time very pleasurably. After the exigencies of the Season, with its ceaseless breakfasts, balls, routs, race-parties at Ascot, opera-parties, convivial gatherings at Cribb’s Parlour, evenings spent at Watier’s, not to mention the numerous picnics, and al fresco entertainments ranging from quite ordinary parties to some, given by ambitious hostesses, so daringly original that they were talked of for at least three days, the lazy, unexacting life at Hazelfield exactly suited his humour. If one visited the Emboroughs there was no need to fear that every moment of every day would have been planned, or that you would be dragged to explore some ruin or local beauty spot when all you wished to do was to go for a strolling walk with some other like-minded members of the party. Lady Emborough never made elaborate plans for the entertainment of her guests. She merely fed them very well, and saw to it that whatever facilities were necessary to enable them to engage in such sports or exercises as they favoured were always at hand; and if any amusement, such as a race-meeting, happened to be taking place she informed them that carriages were ready to take them to it, but if anyone felt disinclined to go racing he had only to say so, and need not fear that she would be offended.