Julie Garwood - Saving Grace

His voice shook when he answered with his own pledge. "Not nearly as much as I love you, Johanna MacBain."

And then she was in his arms and he was kissing her and hugging her and telling her in broken whispers how much he loved her and how he knew he was damned unworthy of her but it didn't matter because he would never let her go and how she had become the center of his life.

He was rambling, but he didn't care. Some of what he said made sense, most didn't. It didn't matter to her. She was crying and also rambling with all the loving words she'd kept protected inside her.

Their kisses became passionate, and when he finally pulled away, she was trembling. He let go of her, but only for a second, then caught hold of her hand and walked out of the hall. She was blushing and kept her head bowed when they passed her brother and her clansmen. Gabriel slowed his pace when he led the way up the steps so Johanna could keep up with him, then threaded his way through the throng of men standing on the balcony until he reached the first chamber. He pulled his wife inside, shut the door, and then reached for her again.

Clothing became an obstacle. Gabriel didn't want to quit kissing her long enough to get undressed, and so he tried to do both at the same time.

They made it to the bed, though just barely, and made love with an intensity that left them both shaken. He was gentle; she was demanding, and each was eventually thoroughly satisfied.

He stayed inside her a long while afterward. He covered her from head to feet and braced himself on his elbows to keep from crushing her. He kissed her brow, the bridge of her nose, and finally her chin.

She let out a loud, lusty yawn. Gabriel rolled to his side. He covered her with his plaid and pulled her into his arms.

"You should sleep now," he whispered.

"I'm not weak, Gabriel."

He smiled in the darkness. "No, you're not weak," he agreed. "You're strong and courageous and honorable." He leaned down to kiss the top of her head before adding, "But you're carrying, my love. You must rest for the baby's sake. Alex and I would be lost without you. You're the center of our family, Johanna. I've known that truth for a long while. I think that is why I was a bit overprotective. I wanted to keep you under lock and key so nothing would happen to you."

There was a hint of laughter in her voice when she responded. "You let me sew."

"Tell me again you love me. I like hearing your pledge."

She cuddled up against her husband. "I love you," she whispered. "Almost from the very beginning. My heart softened toward you the day we met."

"Nay, it didn't," he countered. "You were afraid of me."

"Until you gave me your promise," she corrected.

"What promise did I give?"

"You wouldn't bite."

"You were still frightened."

"Perhaps, just a little," she agreed. "But then God gave me a sign and I knew everything was going to be all right."

He was intrigued. "Explain this sign," he commanded.

"You'll laugh."

"I won't."

"It was your name," she whispered. "I hadn't heard it before the wedding ceremony. Nicholas called you MacBain, and so did your men. But you had to give your true name to the priest, and that is when I knew I was going to be safe."

He broke his promise and laughed. She didn't mind. She waited until he'd finished and then said, "You were named after the highest of angels," she explained. "Mama taught me to pray to the archangel Gabriel," she added. "And do you know why?"

"Nay, love. I don't know why."

"Because he's the protector of the innocent the avenger of evil. He watches over women and children and is our own special guardian."

"If that is truth and not fanciful thinking, then he didn't do a very good job of looking out for you," Gabriel said. He thought about the years she'd endured hardship under Raulf's control and immediately started to get angry again.

"Oh, but my archangel did protect me," she said.

"How?" Gabriel demanded.

"He gave me you."

She stretched up and kissed his chin. "It doesn't matter if you understand or if you think I'm crazed, Gabriel. Just love me."

"I do, lass. I do. Have you any idea how proud I was when I heard the praise you gave me tonight?"

"Do you mean when you were on the balcony?"

"Yes."

"Raulf needed to know the truth," she said. "He had no understanding of what true love is," she added. She leaned up again to smile at her husband. "I know when you realized you loved me," she boasted. "It was when you found me in the tree and saw the wolves."

He shook his head. "No," he said. "It was long before that god-awful incident."

She badgered him to explain. "It was your immediate acceptance of Alex. When he asked you if I had given you a wedding gift, do you remember what you said? I remember every word," he added before she even had time to nod. "You said, 'He gave me a son.' And that is when my heart softened toward you. It just took me a little while to realize it."

The mention of their son made her frown. "Alex is certainly fretting. I want to go home… with you. I don't want you to go to England."

"I won't have to," he said. "Williams will give King John my message."

"What will he tell him?"

"To leave us alone."

"Did you tell Williams about the scroll I hid in the chapel?"

"No."

His denial surprised her. "But I thought…"

"Raulf's dead," Gabriel explained. "The king doesn't have any reason to bother us now. If he should decide to send additional troops here for whatever reason, then we'll mention the damning evidence."

Johanna thought about her husband's explanation a long while before finally coming to the conclusion he was right. The king didn't need to know she had kept the scroll. "You want him to think it's over."

"I do."

"Will anyone ever know the truth about Arthur?"

"Most of the barons already believe the king was behind the murder," Gabriel said. "Even Nicholas has his own suspicions. He has another reason for turning against his overlord."

"What other reason?"

"John betrayed his trust. He gave Nicholas his word he was only sending a messenger and escort, and he assured your brother Raulf would be kept in London."

"He lied."

"Yes"

"What will Nicholas do?"

"He'll join Baron Goode and the others."

"Rebellion?"

He could hear the worry in her voice. "No," he answered. "But a king without loyal vassals and an army has little power. Nicholas told me the barons plan to force John to make necessary concessions. Do you know why Nicholas gave you to me?"

She smiled over his choice of words. "He didn't give me to you," she whispered. "He was merely matchmaking."

"He was in love with you."

She didn't understand what he was telling her. "He's my brother. Of course he loves me."

"He was there when you were born and saw you raised, but he told me he left to do the king's fighting when you were only nine or ten years old. He returned several years later."

"Yes," she said. "He came back home just a few months before I was wed to Raulf."

"You had become a very beautiful woman," Gabriel said. "And Nicholas was suddenly having unbrotherly thoughts about you."

She bolted up in the bed. "Is that what the argument was about on our wedding day? You became angry and dragged Nicholas away," she reminded him.

He nodded. "When I heard his full name, I knew he wasn't related… by blood, and I had already noticed he seemed a bit overly protective for a brother."

She shook her head. "You're mistaken."

"He rarely came to see you when you were married to Raulf. He feels tremendous guilt over that slight, for if he hadn't been so determined to hide his feelings, he would have seen how you were being treated by the bastard."