Julie Garwood - Saving Grace

Clare was trying not to cry. "Papa and Nicholas are both going to get killed. I've never seen so many soldiers, Johanna. I don't know what we will do."

"I have a plan," Johanna announced. "They're here to fetch me, aren't they? Keith, you will simply give me to them."

He shook his head. "I cannot, m'lady."

"You don't have a choice in the matter," she countered. "Listen carefully. We were taken by surprise, isn't that so?"

She waited for his nod before continuing. "If we'd had time to prepare, what would you have done?"

"Called up our allies," Keith replied. "And when they arrived, we would outnumber the enemy. Even now the word is being passed through the Highlands, for the sight of such a vast army would be spread like wildfire. Most of our allies are to the north, however, and they are probably only just now hearing the news. They'll come."

"But it will be too late, won't it?"

"There is always hope, m'lady."

"There is also a better plan," she replied. "If I willingly go to the English soldiers, they will retreat."

"They'll take you back to England!" Clare cried out.

"They will if Keith cannot mount an attack in time. How long before you can gather enough men?"

"A single full day," he answered.

"Gabriel hasn't reached England yet. He will have heard. Add him to your numbers."

Johanna continued to try to make the commander listen to reason. Keith wouldn't agree with her plan, however, and kept insisting he would give up his life to keep her safe.

And so she resorted to trickery to get her way. She pretended to give in. Keith asked her to go back to the great hall and wait there with Clare until he sent men to sneak the two of them out of the keep.

Johanna nodded agreement. She started up the hill with Clare at her side, but just as soon as Keith had regained his mount and ridden away, she turned to her friend.

"You've going to have to help me," she announced. "You know it's the only way, Clare. I won't be harmed."

"You can't know that, Johanna," Clare whispered with fear. "What about your baby?"

"We'll be all right. Raulf doesn't know I'm carrying, and the pleats in my plaid hide my condition." She nodded again. "We'll be all right."

"And if Baron Raulf is leading the army? How will you keep him from hurting you?"

"I have not forgotten how to cower," Johanna replied. Her voice was filled with sadness. "And I will try not to incite his anger. Clare, I love my brother and all these good men here. I cannot let them die because of me."

"Dear God, I don't know what to do."

"Please help me."

Clare was finally swayed. She gave a quick nod. "Aren't you frightened, Johanna?"

"Oh, yes," Johanna answered. "But I'm not overwhelmed with it. In my heart, I know it's a sound plan. Gabriel will find me."

Tears streamed down Clare's face. She forced a smile to hide her terror. "I wish I had someone like Gabriel who I could love and trust."

"Oh, Clare, you do. Nicholas is every bit as gentle and good as my husband."

Her friend's smile became genuine then. "Dear Lord, I forgot I was married," she blurted out. "Come now. We must get you out of here before I also forget I have courage."

The two women turned direction and ran toward the back entrance to the stables. Twenty minutes later, and after considerable subterfuge and plain sneakery, Johanna rode out of the keep and down the steep hill.

She was going back to hell again. Yet when she spotted Raulf riding toward her, her heart didn't stop beating and her stomach didn't twist in agony.

Johanna wasn't terrified now; she was determined. She had a sound plan.

She had Gabriel.

They took her to the Gillevrey keep. Raulf and his army had crossed the clan's border and immediately found themselves under attack. The Highlander soldiers were courageous in battle, but Laird MacKay's evaluation was proven true. They were a poorly trained group of men, and it had only taken the English infidels one day to conquer the land and the castle.

Laird Gillevrey and thirty of his men were locked away in the cellars below the great hall. The other clansmen were being held in the soldiers' quarters in the lower bailey.

Johanna's surrender had been swift. She rode down the hill and into the jaws of the enemy. They enveloped and surrounded her.

Although she was just a scant foot or two away from Raulf, she didn't speak to him. She simply sat atop her mount with her hands folded together and waited to see what he would do.

Raulf was dressed in full knight's battlewear, but his head was covered with the old-fashioned open conical helmet. He preferred it over the modern fully enclosed gear. He'd told her his vision was improved. She believed vanity was the true reason.

It was difficult for her to look at him. His appearance hadn't changed much. His eves were just as green, his complexion was still unscarred, and there were only a few added age lines creasing his narrow cheeks now. Then he took his helmet off, and she realized there had been a dramatic change after all. His hair had been the color of wheat when she'd last seen him. It was white now.

"We will go home now, Johanna, and all this will be put behind us."

"Yes," she immediately agreed.

Her answer pleased him. He nudged his mount close to her side and reached over to touch her face.

"You have grown more beautiful," he remarked. "I've missed you, my love."

Johanna couldn't look at him now, for she was certain he would see the disgust in her eyes. She bowed her head in what she prayed looked like submission.

Raulf was apparently satisfied. He put his helmet back on, turned his mount, and then gave the order to ride.

They didn't stop for water or rest and reached the Gillevrey holding late that afternoon.

Johanna immediately pleaded exhaustion. Raulf escorted her inside. The entrance was narrow. Steps leading upstairs were directly in front of her. To the right was the hall. It was a large room, square in dimensions, and the balcony above surrounded it on all sides. Johanna was disheartened by that notice, for she knew if she was kept upstairs, she couldn't sneak out the door without being spotted by the guards in the hall.

She was given the third chamber. The door was in the center of the balcony. Raulf opened the door for her. She kept her head bowed and tried to hurry past him. He grabbed hold of her arm and tried to kiss her. She wouldn't let him. She turned her head away.

He roughly pulled her into his arms and hugged her. His hands toyed with her hair.

"Did they make you cut your hair?"

She didn't answer him. "Of course they did," he decided. "You never would have willingly cut your hair, for you surely remember how much I liked it."

"I did remember," she whispered.

He let out a sigh. "It will grow again."

"Yes."

Raulf suddenly tightened his hold on her. "Why did you get our marriage annulled?"

The pain he was inflicting upon her made her flinch. "The king wanted me to marry Baron Williams. I demanded an annulment to stall for time. I didn't believe you were dead."

Her answer satisfied Raulf. "John didn't tell me Williams wanted you for wife. The bastard did lust after you, didn't he? And you never did like him much."

"I'm very sleepy," she blurted out. "I don't feel at all well."

Raulf finally let go of her. "The excitement has been too much for you. You were always weak, Johanna, and only I know how to take care of you. Go to bed now. I won't bother you tonight. I put one of your gowns on the bed. You will wear it tomorrow. When you join me downstairs, I will have a surprise for you."

He finally left her alone. The door had a lock, but the key had been removed. She would have to find something to block the entrance, she decided. She didn't trust Raulf to leave her alone; and if he did sneak into the chamber during the night, she would be prepared. If he tried to touch her, she would kill him… or die trying.