Джорджетт Хейер: False Colours

“Well, that’s a new come-out!” retorted Kit. “Let me know when Norton has taken away the tea-tray, you old humbug!”

He found his twin moodily flicking over the pages of the latest number of the Gentleman’s Magazine . Evelyn looked up quickly, his frown changing to a smile. “Now, don’t scold, Kester! I’ve had enough of that from Fimber! Talk of jobations! But when it came to a glass of hot milk before being tucked up in bed at eight o’clock there was nothing for it but to escape from Pinny!” He rose, and began to pace restlessly about the room. “I’ve thought till my brain reels, Kester, but it’s hopeless!”

“Oh, no, it isn’t!” replied Kit. “Something has happened which entirely alters the situation. Tell me one thing, Eve! If you were not faced with the burden of our treasured parent’s debts, and were free to marry Miss Askham, would you be prepared to endure the Trust until such time as it may take you to convince my uncle that you are very well able to manage your own affairs?”

“Yes, I dare say, but since I am faced with that burden—”

“No, you’re not, brother!” interrupted Kit.

“Oh, am I not?” said Evelyn, a flash in his eyes. “I have already told you, Kester, that I will not, under any circumstances whatsoever, permit you to saddle a responsibility which is mine, and mine only!”

“I’m not going to saddle it, so come down from your high ropes! Now, listen, Eve! I have some news for you which I know very well you won’t like, but which you must stomach. Mama has accepted an offer of marriage from Ripple.”

“ What ?” Evelyn exclaimed thunderously. “It isn’t possible!”

“You’d have been even more incredulous had you been present when he made the announcement to me. Lord, Eve, I wish you had been present! He couldn’t have been cast into greater gloom if he had received a death sentence! My own view of the matter is that it wasn’t he who made the offer, but Mama.”

“Oh, my God, no!” Evelyn said, shuddering. “How could she do such a thing? How can you , Kester, think that I would let her make such a sacrifice? Just what sort of a contemptible skirter do you believe me to be? Don’t spare me!”

“I shan’t, if you don’t stop behaving like a Tragedy Jack!” replied Kit. “For God’s sake, twin, take a damper! I didn’t relish the notion either, but it will do, you know. I haven’t lived with Mama for as long as you have, but for long enough to realize that she’s no more fitted to live alone than a babe unborn! I know you think she’ll continue to live with you, but you may take it from me that she won’t. Well, what do you imagine will be the outcome, if she sets up an establishment of her own?”

“I know, I know, Kester, but—”

“I should rather think you might! Now consider what her life will be, if she marries Ripple!”

Their eyes met, and held, across the space that lay between them, Evelyn’s holding an arrested look, Kit’s very steady. It was he who broke the silence. “We always thought him a bobbing-block, didn’t we, Eve? Well, so he is, but he’s been a pretty firm friend to Mama! He isn’t in love with her now, but Cressy’s right when she says that he dotes on her. There’s very little he wouldn’t do for her, and the more she wastes the ready the better pleased he’ll be! Furthermore, twin, he’ll take better care of her than ever you or I could! I fancy that such loose fish as Louth will be speedily put to rout!”

There was a long silence. “If I thought that she would be happy—Oh, no, Kester, no! She’s doing it to smooth my path, and for no other reason!”

“Yes, I think she is,” agreed Kit imperturbably. “But if you imagine that she’s sacrificing herself, you’re fair and far off! It’s Ripple who is the sacrifice: Mama’s in high gig! I tell you, in all seriousness, Eve, that if you drive a spoke into this wheel you’ll be doing her the worst turn you could!”

“Kester, you know I wouldn’t—!” He broke off, as the door opened, and Fimber entered the room, and said impatiently: “Yes, what is it?”

“The tea-tray has been removed, sir,” said Fimber, addressing himself pointedly to Kit. “I have taken it upon myself to instruct Norton—informing him that such was your desire, Mr Christopher—to set out the brandy in the library. He will have no occasion, therefore, to enter the Long Drawing-room again this evening. I should perhaps add that, according to what he tells me, Lady Stavely has not yet retired, but is playing piquet with Sir Bonamy. I shall hold myself in readiness to accompany his lordship to Mrs Pinner’s cottage in due course.”

“That,” said Evelyn bitterly, as Fimber withdrew, “is what I have to endure! What now, Kester?”

“Now,” said Kit, “you are going to meet Lady Stavely, God help you! You are also going to felicitate poor old Ripple; and finally you are going to try and discover a way out of this scrape which will not set the ton by the ears!”

“There isn’t one!”

“There must be one!” said Kit firmly. “My life’s happiness depends upon it!”

“Then you find it!” recommended Evelyn. “ I’m not the clever twin! Kester, what’s the old lady like? How do I deal with her?”

“Boldly! She’s a tartar!”

“Lord, I wish I’d never come home!” said Evelyn. “Don’t you dare to abandon me! I’m all of a twitter already!”

“Courage, brother!” said Kit, opening the door into the Long Drawing-room.

They entered the room together, and paused for a moment on the threshold. The Dowager, who had just picked up the cards dealt her by SirBonamy, laid them down again, staring at the twins in astonishment. She did not speak, but the sudden gleam in her eyes informed her granddaughter that she was not unappreciative of the picture quite unconsciously presented by the Fancot twins.

Apart, they were held to be very fine young men; together, with the candlelight glinting on their burnished heads, they were so striking that the Dowager, like many before her, was dazzled into thinking them the most handsome men she had ever beheld.

“Evelyn, my dear one!” exclaimed Lady Denville, springing up from the sofa, and going towards him with her light, graceful step, and her hands held out in welcome.

He took one in his own left hand, and kissed it, murmuring wickedly: “You are smart tonight, love! Dressed like Christmas beef!”

She chuckled, and would have led him forward, but he put her gently aside, and advanced down the room alone, to where the Dowager sat. If he was in a quake, no trace of it was apparent in his bearing. He bowed, and with a smile quite as disarming as Kit’s, said: “I owe you an apology, Lady Stavely. But indeed I couldn’t help it!”

In spite of herself, her lips twitched, and she put out her hand. “So you are Denville, are you?” she said. “H’m! You’d better beg my granddaughter’s pardon, young man!”

“Why, yes!” he agreed, his mother’s mischievous look in his eyes; and turned towards Cressy, holding out his hand. “So I do, Cressy—but you are very well rid of me, you know!” She had risen to her feet, and as she laughed, giving him her hand, he kissed it, and then her cheek, saying: “I wish you every happiness, my dear!”

“Thank you! May I return that wish?” she said demurely.

The smile in his eyes acknowledged the sly allusion, but he replied audaciously: “Indeed, I am excessively happy to have you for a sister!” He turned his head. “Kester!”

Kit strolled forward, but his eyes were on Cressy, warmly appreciative. Evelyn said: “If I have any right to this hand, may I bestow it on my brother, Miss Stavely? He is much more worthy of it than I am—but that I needn’t tell you!”