Джорджетт Хейер: Cousin Kate

Sarah nodded, still frowning. But Kate looked in at that moment, seeking her aunt, and, at sight of her, said gaily: “Why, ma’am, when I couldn’t find you in the parlour I made up my mind to it that I had dreamt the whole!” She saw Sarah’s worried expression, and said, with a droll look: “Oh, faithless one! I’ll never forgive you! Or shall I? Yes, perhaps I shall! I can’t tell. Aunt Minerva, Tom has procured a hack for you, and it is waiting in the yard.”

“Then you shall escort me to it,” responded Lady Broome, rising, and holding out her hand to Sarah. “I’ll take my leave of you, Mrs Nidd. I daresay it may be impossible for you to get away, but if you can contrive to do so I hope I need not tell you that you will be welcome at Staplewood?”

“No, my lady,” replied Sarah, with a slight curtsy. “Oh, dear me, no!”

Lady Broome then preceded her niece out of the kitchen. Five minutes later, Kate came back, her eyes dancing, and her cheeks aglow. She clasped Sarah round the waist, and hugged her. “Oh, Sarah, I’ve thrown my cap over the windmill, and whether I’m glad, or whether I’m sorry, I don’t know, but I think I’m glad! To own the truth, it has been a struggle to know how to support my spirits, for the very thought of another situation as governess sinks me into gloom! Particularly now, when you have petted and cosseted me so much. Yes, but I’m a little frightened as well. How shall I go on in such a house as Staplewood seems to be? The Astleys’ was nothing to it, I feel sure! There will be a butler, of course, and—do you think, footmen?”

“Not more than two,” answered Sarah decidedly. “That’s supposing there’s an under-butler, which it’s likely there will be. The housekeeper, her ladyship’s dresser, the stillroom-maid, and four of five housemaids: that’s all that need concern you, miss, for it’s not to be expected that you’ll have much to do with the gardeners, nor the grooms. When are you to go?”

“Tomorrow! At least, I am to join my aunt at the Clarendon tomorrow.” She put up her chin, allowed her eyelids to droop, and said languidly: “I shall be spending the night at the Clarendon, Sarah: be good enough to pack my trunk!”

“You may be sure I will!” replied Sarah grimly.

“You will not!” cried Kate, abandoning her haughty pose.

“Indeed and I shall! Now, give over, Miss Kate! Who packed your trunk when you went to the Astleys, pray? I must get up your best muslin, too—which reminds me that you need to put fresh ribbons on it!” She bustled across the room to the dresser, and took her purse out of one of its drawers. “Take this, love, and go and buy yourself some! Dinner won’t be ready for above an hour yet, so you’ve plenty of time.”

Kate put her hands behind her back, vigorously shaking her head. “I’ll go, but I won’t take your purse. I have a great deal of money in my own—so much, in fact, that I shan’t grudge the expense of a hack to Bedford House!”

“Did her ladyship give it to you?” demanded Sarah. “No, I saved it!” said Kate, laughing, and backing to the door. “No, Sarah, no! I’ve had too much from you already. Keep some dinner for me, won’t you?”

She vanished through the doorway, and was not seen again until nearly five o’clock, when a hack deposited her in the yard, laden with packages.

“Well!” said Sarah. “A fine time to come home to dinner this is, miss! And what may you have been wasting your money on, if you please?”

“I haven’t wasted it—at least, I do hope I have not!” replied Kate, spilling her parcels on to the kitchen table. “That one is for you, and this is a pipe for Joe, and—oh, goodness, where is the snuff box I bought for Mr Nidd? It isn’t that , or that— oh, I put it in my reticule, to be safe! Tell me, Sarah, do you think Joe will like—Why, Sarah!—”

“I can’t help it,” sobbed Sarah, from behind her apron. “To think of you flinging your money away, and you with so little! Oh, you naughty girl, how could you? Didn’t you buy nothing for yourself? Oh, I can’t bear it!”

“But of course I did! Ribbon trimmings, just as you bade me, and—oh, all manner of things, to furbish me up a trifle!” said Kate merrily. “Sarah, do, pray, stop napping your bib!”

This had the desired effect. Sarah dropped her apron, ejaculating: “Miss Kate! How dare you? Where did you learn that nasty, vulgar expression? Not that I need to ask you! From Father, I’ll be bound!”

“Not a bit of it! From Tom!”

“Oh, you did, did you? And how many times have I told you not to go near the stables, miss? Yes, and I’ll tell you something else, which is that if you talk like that at Staplewood you’ll be back here in the twinkling of a bedpost!”

“Yes, Sarah!” said Kate meekly. She tore the wrapping from the largest of her parcels, shook out the Paisley shawl it contained, and swept it round her nurse. “There! Please say you like it!” she coaxed, kissing Sarah’s cheek. “It comes to you with my love, dearest.”

Mr Nidd, entering the kitchen some minutes later, was revolted to find his daughter-in-law peacocking about (as he phrased it) in a handsome shawl, and instantly demanded to be told what she thought she was a-doing of, dressed-up like Christmas beef.

“Oh, Father, Miss Kate has given it to me!” said Sarah, dissolving again into tears. “The very thing I always wanted!”

“Ho!” said Mr Nidd. “I might ha’ known it! Flashing the rags all over! Soon as I see her trapesing off, I says to myself: Wasting the ready! that’s what she’s a-going to do !”

“Did you indeed?” said Kate. “Well, in that case I won’t give you your snuff box, Mr Nidd!”

“You’ve never gone and bought me a snuff box, miss?” he said incredulously. “You’re gammoning me!”

“See if I am!” challenged Kate, holding the box out to him.

“Well, dang me!” said Mr Nidd, accepting it in one gnarled hand, and subjecting it to a close inspection. “Silver!” he pronounced, much gratified. “Well, I’m sure I thank you very kindly, miss—very kindly indeed I thank you! Ah, and whenever I helps meself to a pinch of merry-go-up out of this here box I shall think of you, and I can’t say no fairer than that!”

Even Sarah felt that he had expressed his gratitude with rare grace. He then, and with great care, transferred the contents of his horn box into the new silver one, handing the old box to Sarah, with instructions to throw it away, since he had no further use for it. After that, he sallied forth, bound for his favourite hostelry, where, no one could doubt, he had every intention of offering his cronies pinches from his box. The discovery, later, that Kate had bestowed a handkerchief on his youngest grandson only abated his satisfaction for as long as it took him to assess the respective values of a silver snuff box and what he designated a Bird’s Eye Wipe.

By five o’clock two days later, the chaise that bore Lady Broome, her niece, and her abigail, was nearing its destination, and her ladyship woke up. Miss Malvern, bright-eyed and alert, had not slept, but had divided her time between reverently stroking the sleek ermine muff which Lady Broome had bestowed upon her, squinting down to admire the matching stole about her shoulders, observing with interest the country through which four fast horses were carrying her, and speculating on the sudden change in her fortunes.

From the moment of her arrival at the Clarendon Hotel, she felt that she had been pitchforked into another, and more affluent, world. Received with great civility, she was led upstairs to my lady’s apartments, a large suite of rooms looking on to Albemarle Street, and welcomed affectionately by my lady, who kissed her, held her at arms’ length, and exclaimed ruefully: “How very pretty you are! And what charming taste you have! I don’t wonder at it that that horrid young man made up to you! Ah, Sidlaw, here she is—my little half-niece! My love, this is Sidlaw, my dresser, and once, like your Sarah, my nurse!”