Филиппа Карр - Daughters of England

"Monmouth was a fool," he said. "He had too big an idea of his importance. He could never see things as they were, but only as he wanted them to be. None knew that better than the King, his father. It may be that that was why he set himself firmly against making him his heir.''

"But he was not the heir."

"Indeed no. Fm convinced there was no marriage between the King and Lucy Walter. There was no need. Lucy was free enough with her favors. But Charles might have found the way if he had thought the boy would have made a good King. Charles was a great manipulator, under all that charm of manner and outward easygoing tolerance. That was why, in spite of the life he led, he was a good King. And now ... this trouble. Luke killed." A spasm crossed his face, and I had a glimpse of his true feelings. Luke was his son and I thought then that he would have been delighted if it had been possible to acknowledge him as his heir.

Poor Luke, who had chosen an impossible dream and in a way it had led him to his death, for I feared his allegiance to Monmouth was partly because they were both in a similar situation.

My father said: "The past is done. We have the future to think of. You are eighteen now, Kate. Is it not time that you considered marriage?"

"Marriage with ... ?"

"Sebastian, of course. Oh come, my dear, we have to be practical. You had this romantic feeling for Kirk well Carew. He has gone ... depend upon it. He died on Sedgemoor. That might be lucky for him. I would not care to think of what would happen to him if he fell into the hands of Jeffreys."

I shivered and for a few moments could not hide the horror which came over me.

My father was watching me closely, and he said: "Poor misguided young fellow. The young do foolish things sometimes. Kate, I want you to be wise. I should be very happy if you told me that you and Sebastian were to be married."

"No ... no ... I could not."

"Listen, Kate. You like him. He is one of the pleasantest fellows in the world. He'd make you happy, I know he would. He has all the qualities it takes to make a good husband. I know you have this romantic feeling for Kirkwell Carew ... but you'll forget all that. You cannot go on mourning the dead forever. You have to try and forget him ... and Luke. It was a pity they acted so recklessly, but it is done. You can't stop living because of such sorrows. Say that you will accept Sebastian. Let us forget the miseries this rebellion has brought about. Let us try to make a little happiness."

"No," I said. "No."

"But why? You like Sebastian. Kirkwell is gone ..."

"No," I said. "No!"

He fell silent.

He said after a while: "In time you will see that it is best."

It was my turn to take food to Kirkwell. This always came from Christobel's kitchen. To have taken it from Rosslyn Manor might have attracted attention and aroused suspicion. We knew we had to be very careful indeed.

Christobel had taken some time to recover from the birth of her child. The shock of Luke's death, and the anxieties we had suffered over Kirkwell had had some effect on her. James had been very worried, but now Christobel was much better and her delight in her son had done a great deal to help her recovery.

The child—they had called him Luke after my brother—was a delight to us all. We marveled at him on every occasion and Christobel could not resist the temptation to show him off and boast of his beauty and the marvelous signs of intelligence he was already displaying.

I always chose the mid-afternoon to go to Kirkwell. It was the time when the household was quiet and in any case no one ventured near the Devil's Tower at that time; but there was the possibility that someone might notice that one of us was in a certain spot at the same time every afternoon.

James had said that it was necessary to take the utmost care always.

I had seen Kirk and spent about half an hour with him. I told him the news I had gleaned. The assizes were still going on and were now in Taunton. There was grumbling everywhere about the inhuman actions of the cruel judge, but none had the courage—or the foolhardiness—to speak openly against him.

As I made my way back to Rosslyn Manor I met my father.

"You have been taking a walk?"

"Yes. It is a pleasant afternoon."

He looked over his shoulder.

"I see," he said thoughtfully.

We walked towards the house in silence for a few moments, then he said: "Have you thought any more about Sebastian?"

"No," I said.

"Was it because of Kirkwell Carew that you hesitated?"

He was looking at me steadily. I thought of Kirkwell in the Devil's Tower, his life in such danger. In the last days I had learned something. It was that I thought I should never be happy again if I lost him. I felt deeply the loss of my brother. I would say to myself, Luke would say that ... and then I would realize that he would never be there again. To lose one who has been close to you haunts you forever. It was not so long ago that I had learned I had a brother, but our very relationship had brought us close. I knew I should go on mourning Luke for a long time. But Kirkwell ... that would be for the rest of my life.

I realized that I had not answered and that my father was looking at me intently.

We went into the house and still I had not answered.

I reached my room, sat down and stared ahead of me. Then it struck me suddenly.

I thought: he saw me coming from the Devil's Tower. He knows, I thought. He remembers that last time. If Kirk had escaped, where would he come? To me ... to his sister. It had happened before.

He thinks that, if it were not for Kirkwell, I would marry Sebastian. His plan would succeed.

It suddenly occurred to me that Kirkwell was not only in danger from the King's men, but from my father.

My great fear was realized. The King's men were here. They had been to Featherston Manor but were searching the area.

They were in the great hall. I was frantic with anxiety. I went downstairs. I leaned over the banister and saw them with my father.

I heard them say: "We have reason to believe that he escaped alive after the battle. If he did, it is likely that he would come to this part which he knew so well."

My father saw me. He called: "Kate. These gentlemen are here searching for one of the rebels."

I went into the hall. My father was looking at me. He must have seen the abject fear in my face and he knew that I was aware where Kirkwell was hiding and there could only be the one place where that was.

"They are looking round the neighborhood and, of course, will look at the estate. I shall conduct them round myself."

The men greeted me with respect as Lord Rosslyn's daughter.

"Go to your room, Kate," he said. "I will see you when this is over."

I gave him an appealing glance, but he did not seem to notice it.

I went up to my room. I shut the door and sat, staring blankly at the window.

It was over. Any moment now, my father would betray him. They would take him away to face such horror that I could scarcely bear to contemplate it. I would lose Kirkwell as I had lost Luke ... I just could not bear to think of it.

I was convinced that my father knew Kirkwell was in the Devil's Tower. At any moment now my father would take them to the Devil's Tower and they would find him. And my father would say that he was a fool, as Luke had been foolish. Men have to learn that, if they do foolish things, they must pay for them.

Sebastian would not act foolishly. He was the husband my father wanted for me and he believed that, if Kirkwell was removed from the scene, there would be no more hindrance to prevent my marrying Sebastian.

I think I had never in all my life endured such anguish as I did during that hour. I knew then how much Kirkwell's loss would mean to me, and I thought of the cruel and humiliating death which would be inflicted on him. I knew I should never be happy again and I would blame myself for my carelessness in being the one who had betrayed him.