Kathy Love - Fangs For The Memories

She shook her head, her goodness making her assume all things could be fixed. All rifts mended. All pains healed.

He knew they couldn't.

And he wasn't going to allow her to become another loss he couldn't overcome. Another "if only" that he couldn't go back and change.

"Can't you talk to him? Tell him the truth?"

He laughed, the sound bitter, but his fingers on her cheek were gentle. "I've tried. Over and over. But he doesn't want to hear the truth. He believed Lilah. He will keep believing her. That is why you have to leave here."

She frowned, not following his reasoning.

"Christian is dangerous. And I'm afraid he could try to hurt you to get back at me. You have to leave."

She stared up at him, then smiled as though she thought he was acting like nothing more than a worried mother hen.

"I'm not scared of Christian."

Her words sounded confident, but he could sense apprehension, a subtle tang in the air.

He touched her cheek again, savoring the silky softness of her skin. Committing it to memory. Jane leaving would cause him pain, but as long as he knew she was out there somewhere, alive and safe, then he could bear it.

"I'm going to give you some money," he told her.

She shook her head, but he continued, "And I'm going to have Mick take you somewhere safe. Where would you like to go? You can go anywhere. London? Paris? Somewhere tropical, warm." He softened his voice, coaxing her.

She shook her head again. "I don't want to go anywhere if it means leaving you."

Rhys pulled away from her, irritation rising in his chest. Didn't she understand he was trying to protect her?

"I told you earlier. I do not want to be with you." The words came out rough, angry.

She remained silent for a moment, then said softly, "So that's why you made love to me right in the middle of the nightclub? Why I felt the desperation in your desire?"

He stared into her eyes, his frustration rising. But she didn't flinch under his cold glare.

Instead, she stepped forward and reached for his hands. Her small thumbs brushed back and forth across his broad palms, the caresses sweet, soothing.

"Rhys, you are in love with me. I know it. So instead of trying to figure out where you can send me where I'll be safe, why don't we figure out how I can stay right here and be safe."

"Jane-"

"What will either of us gain if I leave? We both end up alone."

"Yes," he agreed, his voice wry. "But you end up alive."

"If he wanted to do anything to me, he could have done it tonight." Her voice was calm, reasonable, but he knew she was unnerved by the idea that anyone would want to hurt her.

"Just answer this," she finally said, "and I'll consider going."

He waited, unsure he wanted to hear her question, but willing to answer if it would protect her.

"If I do go, and I never see you again, what would be the one thing, years from now, you would wish you'd told me?"

He raised an eyebrow. He'd have been amused if he wasn't so worried, so frustrated. He had to give her credit; she was persistent.

But he didn't respond immediately. Not in an attempt to hurt her, or convince her that he didn't care about her. He just couldn't say the words.

When was the last time he'd said them? Elizabeth? Yes, it had to have been to Elizabeth. Two hundred years was a long, long time to insulate himself, to attempt to remain numb. But Jane made him feel. And just like blood and heat returning to a frostbitten appendage, it hurt like hell.

He took a deep breath, afraid. Afraid to say something he would have once said so readily. Or at least he hoped he'd said it readily. To Elizabeth. And his parents. Even Sebastian and Christian.

And he had to say the words now. Even if it was only this once.

"I would wish," he said slowly, "that I told you that I love you."

She smiled, not the triumphant grin he'd expected, but a small, tremulous smile. Her eyes glistened.

"Thank you."

He nodded, but couldn't seem to respond any further.

She sniffed, then started to release his hands.

He clasped them before she could break the contact, and he pulled her toward him. Wrapping his arms around her, he cradled her against his body.

Now that the thaw had started, a flood followed, and he couldn't seem to control the emotion that poured through him.

"I love you, Janie," he murmured against her ear. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

She hugged him back, her arms tight around his neck.

"Then that solves it," she said against his ear, her voice hoarse with emotion.

Finally. Finally she'd do as he asked. Because he loved her.

"I'm staying right here."

Rhys set Jane away from him and glowered down at her. "You are leaving." His voice boomed off the bookshelves and the ceiling, but she didn't back down.

"No. I love you, and I'm staying right here."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Then, as if he didn't know what else to do, he strode over to the window.

She watched him for a minute, then followed. Her arms wrapped around his torso. "We can't lose this."

"I can't lose you."

"You won't."

"I can't watch you every minute. And you'll never be safe with Christian out there."

Jane knew he was looking out over the city, wondering where his brother was right now.

"It will be okay," she assured him, even though she knew she couldn't guarantee that. But her mind couldn't wrap around the idea Christian would really want to hurt her.

"Please, Jane. Just go."

She shook her head, then pressed her cheek against his back. "I've been alone for too long. I can't leave you. I can't."

The muscles in his back relaxed, but she knew it wasn't relief that loosened them. It was defeat. She'd worn him down, at least for tonight.

She didn't feel any satisfaction in her victory.

"Come on," she said, lacing her fingers through the hand that hung at his side, tugging his immoveable body.

He glanced at her. "Where?"

"Let's go to bed. We can worry about Christian tomorrow."

He hesitated, casting another look out at the city. Then he allowed himself to be led out of the room.

Once in bed, they simply held each other, neither wanting anything more than to feel their bodies close together. To know that the other one was there.

As the night turned to day, Rhys gradually fell into his usual deep sleep, but Jane couldn't rest. There were too many questions. She tried to guess what had really happened with Lilah. She couldn't figure it out, but she knew there was more that Rhys wasn't saying.

And was Christian the only reason that Rhys had pushed her away in the first place? Or was there something more she was missing?

Finally, after only managing to doze off and on, she gave up on sleep and instead went to find food. She had to be safe in the apartment. With all the locks and Mick and the other security people in the nightclub, she had to be living in one of the safest apartments in the city.

The marble floor was cold as she padded barefoot around the kitchen. She filled a coffee mug with water and then stuck it in the microwave to heat for her tea. Then she went to the cupboard to decide on what to eat.

She felt hungry, but nothing sounded appealing. Cereal? No. Toast? No.

She opened the fridge. She could make a sandwich. But that didn't sound very appetizing either. Her gaze landed on Rhys's protein drink. She started to reach for the pouch, then stopped. No, the dark liquid looked disgusting.

Ah, what the heck, a sip wouldn't kill her. Plenty of things looked gross and tasted great. Like steamed clams or creamed spinach.

She picked up the bag and popped the cap. She sniffed it, recalling that the scent had been rather unappealing. This time the smell didn't seem quite as bad.