Jenna Petersen: The Secrets of a Lady

“Please.” She whispered the word, not for effect, but because she didn’t trust her voice not to break if she forced it louder. “I shall be safer in your home than I would be anywhere else in London. I beg of you, do this one thing for me.”

For a fraction of a second, he kept his focus on her hand, but then she found herself lost in a dark sea of brown when he met her gaze squarely.

“You’re so different,” he murmured, then shook his head as if he hadn’t meant to voice the words. Gently, he shrugged out of her grip. “Very well. I will make for London as soon as I am able. You and Noah may follow in a few days.”

He accentuated his remark with a sigh that let Audrey know just how much he hated the idea. But hate it or not, she had won. She let out her breath in a relieved burst.

“Thank you. We’ll stay out of your way as much as we can, my lord.”

She turned to leave, but he caught her hand to stop her. His palm warmed her even through her gloves as he pulled her closer.

“You should call me Griffin. After all, we’re childhood friends, there’s no need for such formality between us.” His voice was gentle now that he’d surrendered to her request.

With a wince, Audrey slipped her hand from the protective circle of his and shook her head. “I’m no longer a child, my lord. Good day.”

With a nod, she hurried to the door and out in to the hallway, eager to escape before her conflicted feelings made her say or do something rash. Noah straightened up from his position leaning on the wall as she exited.

“He said yes,” she said with a smile.

“Perfect!” Her brother swept her up in a hug.

As she squeezed him back, her relief began to fade. Because of Griffin’s surrender, for the next few months she would be able to do her duty, but at what cost? Because if being in the same room with Griffin for only a few moments was difficult, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live under the same roof.

***

Griffin settled into a chair beside the crackling fire and covered his face with his hands. What had he just done? No, he knew the answer to that question. He had opened Pandora’s Box and now it was too late to turn back.

“Audrey.”

Her name burned his lips as much as her kiss had five years before.

Uttering a quiet curse, he stood and walked to the window. Below, he watched Audrey and Noah ride down the long road that lead to the village. She grinned at something her brother said, then tossed a curl off her shoulder. Griffin’s whole body responded with an awareness that had been foreign for years.

The past quarter of an hour alone with her had been pure torment. He’d ached for… but no. He wouldn’t think of that.

He had never spoken about the way he felt for Audrey, not even to Noah. His best friend had only known about Luci’s transgressions, but he’d never imagined that thoughts of Audrey haunted Griffin’s dreams, made him look at every woman differently.

His wife may have betrayed him with her body, but he had done the same to her with his mind. Perhaps Luci had sensed that betrayal, perhaps it had pushed her into the arms of man after man while Griffin sat home longing for a woman he couldn’t have.

He hadn’t always thought of Audrey that way. For long, ignorant years he had thought of her as nothing more than the younger sister of his best friend. Her tendre for him had been evident, but he had never returned those feelings. After all, he had Luci and Luci was enough for any man.

Until his wedding day.

When Audrey had pressed her lips against his, she had stirred something inside him unlike anything he’d ever felt before. If Luci hadn’t come in and broken them apart, he probably would have swept Audrey up against him and kissed her until neither one of them could breathe or think.

How many times had he imagined doing just that since that day? With a groan, he rubbed his eyes. Probably a hundred. Maybe even more.

“Cotter!” he barked out as he mixed himself another drink.

His butler appeared in the doorway. “Yes, my lord?”

“Direct the staff to prepare my things. I shall be departing for London tomorrow.”

He downed the drink in one swig before he glanced over at the butler. As he expected, if the man was surprised by Griffin’s sudden order he displayed no indication of it.

“Of course, my lord,” the man said with a nod. “And may I say, I think a change of pace may be just the thing you need, my lord. The staff has been very concerned about you since Lady Berenger died.”

Griffin managed a smile at Cotter’s kindness. If his servants knew how he really felt they wouldn’t have sympathy for him.

Here they thought he was still in mourning, pining for the wife he loved. In reality, he was often relieved no one had discovered she was cuckolding him with any man she could find above eighteen and below ninety. Eventually the talk would have begun, the whispers. But all that was over now.

The child Luci had been birthing when death had taken her was another story. He truly did mourn for the little life inside her, though he knew the baby boy wasn’t his. A bastard was Luci’s legacy to him.

“My lord?” Cotter asked, his tone concerned.

Glancing up, he nodded. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“I hope I haven’t offended you, sir.” The older man looked genuinely worried, and Griffin smiled to ease his mind.

“No, Cotter, you didn’t,” he said. “I appreciate the staff’s kind concern for my well-being.”

The butler bowed. “I shall begin the preparations for your departure immediately, my lord.”

“Thank you.”

“How long do you think you will be in Town?”

Griffin shut his eyes. How long would a major investigation last? The longer it took, the longer he’d be in Audrey’s company.

“Perhaps all summer,” he said with a barely perceptible shiver.

“Well, that’s a good length of time to spend with friends, sir,” Cotter said. “Good afternoon.”

Friends. Could he be a friend to Audrey? There wasn’t any other choice. He would keep his distance when he could, and be cordial when he was forced to be. It seemed the only way he would survive the next few months.

Audrey peeked out the carriage window to take in the view. Over the past two hours, the green fields had given way to buildings. They were at the very edge of London now. The edge of her destiny, whatever that was. Audrey took in a calming breath. She could do this.

“Didn’t like what you saw, love?” Hannah Pikard asked from her left, patting her arm with genuine friendliness.

Audrey grinned at her comrade. Hannah was older than she by only seven years, but often treated her like a mother would. They were close enough friends that Hannah seemed to see through any pretense Audrey tried to maintain. It was both a blessing and a curse.

“I have no quarrel with London, Hannah, you know that,” she said with a laugh.

“Aye, but your face has grown paler with each passing mile. There’s something in the city that has you spooked. I wonder if I can guess what it is?”

She winked as Audrey stuck out a playful tongue.

Noah looked up from his paperwork with a smile. “Don’t tease her so, Hannah. She needs to concentrate on work now, and so do you.”

“What is there to concentrate on?” Hannah laughed, the big, bawdy sound of it filling the coach. “All I have to do is mind my language and behave like a maid. My role isn’t a difficult one, I assure you.”

Audrey put an arm around Hannah and squeezed, glad she was on this assignment. She always felt safe with her friend. Perhaps it was because Hannah was one of the best agents in the War Department, or maybe it was because she had wicked aim when it came to throwing a knife. Whatever the reason, Audrey knew she could talk to Hannah openly about anything and never receive a shocked response. After all, the woman had been a prostitute before Noah had swept her off the street and into the government’s employ.