Jenna Petersen: The Secrets of a Lady

Audrey Jordan.

“Audrey?”

She stared at Griffin without answer, caught up in how being so close to him still made her shiver. The look on his face was a cross between shock and horror, and her stomach tightened and twisted.

No, she wasn’t going to do this. These reactions were just guttural, just her body giving the response she’d so long ago trained it to give. The emotions weren’t real.

“Hello, my lord,” she whispered.

Griffin glared at Noah. “I heard that Audrey accompanied you on your travels, but I never believed you would be so irresponsible as to involve in this life. Your own flesh and blood? How could you be so idiotic?”

Audrey thought she saw her brother swallow back a laugh. For her part, she saw no humor in the situation. She wasn’t an infant! Through hard work, she had proven herself to Lord Golding, the head of the War Department. She didn’t need to prove anything to Griffin.

“I’m not a child, Viscount Berenger.” She was proud that ice hung from each pointed word. “And I am standing right here. If you’re going to lecture anyone about my well-being, I suggest you lecture me. Or try to, at any rate.”

Griffin stopped mid-sentence to look at her, his eyes wide with shock. She couldn’t bear to be under his close scrutiny and turned away.

“May we talk about the plan, please?” she murmured, carefully measuring her breaths in an effort to appear calm.

“There will be no plan I’m involved in.” Griffin’s voice was dangerously low. “I will not be any part of putting you in harm’s way.”

“My lord!” Audrey gasped. “You cannot mean that.”

If he didn’t help them, she and Noah were in trouble. It could take weeks to procure another place to reside in London, perhaps even longer due to the Jubilee’s start in June. By that time Douglas Ellison might slip through their fingers.

“No.” Griffin leaned back against his desk and gave his head a firm shake. “I refuse to help you.”

“This is about your country,” Audrey reasoned. “My involvement should mean very little to you in comparison to the consequences if you will not allow us to take up residence in your home.”

Griffin looked up at her, but this time the action was deliberate. Her breath shortened at the intensity of his stare.

“Yes, Audrey, you’re probably right. My country should mean more to me than you do.”

He left his statement at that and her breath went from short to nonexistent. He couldn’t be saying he cared for her. After all, he hadn’t seen her since she was barely more than a girl. Even then, his last memory of her was an awkward one at best.

“Be reasonable,” Noah said, his voice calm. Her brother had always been able to control his reactions better than Audrey. She supposed that was why they’d made such a good team all these years. “Listen to what you’re saying.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying.” Griffin spun to face his friend. “And I mean it.”

“Noah.” Audrey took a deep breath.

Despite his outward calm, she sensed her brother’s anger coming to the surface and she didn’t want it to bubble out. It would do no good for their mission, and even less good to a friendship he had valued for nearly three decades.

“Noah,” she repeated when her brother continued to glare at Griffin. “Why don’t you go into the hallway for a moment? I’d like a moment alone with Viscount Berenger.”

“Audrey?” Noah touched her arm and said softly, “Are you certain that is wise?”

She loved her sibling for understanding how difficult it was for her to be in the same room with Griffin, let alone unaccompanied with him. Not because she loved him. No. Those feelings had been squelched long ago. But because his presence reminded her of the fool she had once been.

“I’ll be fine.” She squeezed the hand her brother had laid on her arm.

Turning to give Griffin one last glance, Noah nodded. “Very well. I’ll be just outside. Perhaps you’ll be able to talk some sense into my bull-headed friend.”

Griffin snorted loudly. “That, Lord Lockhart , is doubtful!”

Audrey shook her head as Noah slammed the door behind him. She would never understand men no matter how long she lived. How they could fight, even exchange blows from time to time, and still remain friends was beyond her comprehension.

She drew in a sharp breath as Griffin moved a fraction closer.

“I–I-” she stammered, caught off guard by the intensity that had returned to his dark stare. “I am so sorry about Luci.”

She winced as she said the words. They sounded false, even worse since she was trying to convince Griffin to help them. Yet, she did feel the pity she expressed, despite Luci’s hatred for her, and even the rumors and grief Griffin’s wife had caused. Losing someone so young, especially at a time that should have been joyful like the birth of a child, was heartbreaking.

“Thank you,” he choked out. He turned to look out the window behind him.

“I would have accompanied Noah to the funeral, but…” She stopped.

How could she explain to this grief-stricken man that his wife had once threatened to destroy her? Worse yet, had followed through on her threats with vigor.

“I understand,” he murmured. “You and Luci were never close. Thank you for your sympathy.”

He had distanced himself from her, from the subject. Now he was only repeating words he’d said a hundred times to a hundred other people. In his heart, he was no longer even in the same room as she.

She struggled to find words to bring him back. “We… we wouldn’t be in your way, I promise you. We would only stay in the house for proximity purposes.”

“That is not exactly true, is it?” Any suffering he’d felt the moment before was wiped from his face when he looked at her, leaving behind only irritation. “As your host, I would have some duties in this little charade, wouldn’t I?”

“No!” She took an involuntary step closer. “This is dangerous business, we would never let you come in harm’s way.”

With a low chuckle, Griffin took a long step in her direction, and she found herself just a few inches from him. Leaning down, he brought his face close to hers. “You will only put yourself in danger, eh?”

Audrey desperately tried to find her voice, but couldn’t. Not when Griffin’s body heat warmed her and the smell of his shaving soap left her all too aware of him. For a moment, she thought he’d say something else. Instead, he backed away to put more distance between them. The added space helped her find both a measure of calm and her voice.

“I assure you, I have been trained to deal with this kind of danger, my lord,” she said. “I can handle myself.”

Griffin glared at her. His tone was clipped when he spoke. “Fine, I shall assume you can. But I’ll still be expected to attend some of these functions with you, won’t I? What will there be, a few balls, perhaps a night at the theatre? I’ll be forced to attend, no matter that I wouldn’t have brought myself within a league of those events on my own accord, especially so soon after Luci’s death.”

His eyes clouded momentarily and sent an ache through Audrey.

“I admit, I hadn’t thought of those things.” This situation was rapidly slipping out of her control. “But Noah and I wouldn’t ask you this favor if we didn’t truly need your help.”

At that, the heat left Griffin’s eyes and his shoulders sagged. “I know.”

Inching closer, Audrey held out a trembling hand and placed it on Griffin’s arm. Through his jacket she felt the muscles contract, but he didn’t pull away. He simply stared at her hand as if he didn’t know what it was.