Gabrielle Zevin - In the Age of Love and Chocolate

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All These Things I’ve Done Still, it is Anya’s nature to soldier on. She puts the loss of Win behind her and focuses on her work. Against the odds, the nightclub becomes an enormous success, and Anya feels like she is on her way and that nothing will ever go wrong for her again. But after a terrible misjudgment leaves Anya fighting for her life, she is forced to reckon with her choices and to let people help her for the first time in her life. 
In the Age of Love and Chocolate
Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac
Elsewhere

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“What is it?” Mr. Delacroix asked.

“Mr. Delacroix, if I tell you something, will you promise not to judge me? I feel weak saying this but I am scared to go back. The city is so difficult to manage. I do feel better, but I know I will never be the same. I don’t want to face the Family or the people in the business, and I do not feel strong enough to go back to my life yet.”

He nodded. I thought he would tell me not to be scared, but he didn’t. “You have been terribly hurt, I can understand why you might feel that way. Let me think of a plan.”

“I didn’t mean that you had to do anything about it. I only wanted to say how I was feeling.”

“Anya, if you tell me a problem, I will try my best to fix it.”

* * *

The next day, he proposed a solution. “My ex-wife, Ms. Rothschild, has a farm outside Albany, in a town called Niskayuna. You might remember that she is a farmer by trade?”

I did. Win used to help her out. The first time I met him, I remembered thinking that his hands didn’t look like a city boy’s.

“The farm is incredibly peaceful. And Jane would be delighted to host you and your sister for the summer. You could rest up, relieved from the burden of city life. I will visit you when I am able. And then at the end of the summer, you’ll go back to New York City a new woman, I feel quite sure.”

“And she isn’t angry with me because of the club?”

“That was years ago, and she blames me, not you, for anything that might have happened. She was always appalled by my behavior where you were concerned, as you have probably guessed. If you’re worried about Win being there, I believe he’s undertaking a premed program in Boston. He won’t be in Niskayuna for more than a couple of days at the end of August, at the most.”

“Good.” I was in no condition to see him.

“So you’ll go?”

“I will,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to get out of the city for the summer.”

“Have you never gone away?” he asked.

“One year, I came close to going to Teen Crime Scene Summer, a program for budding criminologists in Washington, DC, but I struck a deal with the acting district attorney that landed me at Liberty Children’s instead.”

“I imagine the experience was character-building for you.”

“Oh, it was. Enormously.” I rolled my eyes. “Though I have had no shortage of character-building experiences in my life.”

“At this point,” he said, “I think we can safely consider your character built.”

XXII

I EXPERIENCE THE SUMMER LIFE; EAT A STRAWBERRY; LEARN TO SWIM

THE HOUSE IN NISKAYUNAwas white with gray shutters. In the back was a deck, and the Mohawk River streamed pleasantly by. To the side was farmland—I could see peach trees, corn, cucumbers, and tomatoes. The place looked like summer to me, but not the kind of summer I had ever known. Summer as I had imagined other, more fortunate people lived it.

Ms. Rothschild greeted me with a hug followed immediately by an expression of concern. “Oh my dear, you are nothing but bones.”

I knew it was true. At my last doctor’s appointment, I had weighed less than I had at twelve years old. I was skinny like someone with a disease.

“Looking at you, I want to cry. What may I feed you?”

“I’m not hungry,” I said. The truth was, I had lost my appetite since I’d been injured.

“Charlie,” she said to her ex-husband, “this situation won’t do.” She turned to me. “What are your favorite foods?”

“I’m not sure I have any,” I said.

She looked at me with an appalled expression. “Anya, you must have a favorite food. Please, explain. What did your mother make for you?”

“At home, you know, my parents died when I was pretty young, and my nana was sick, and I was responsible for the meals, so I basically made whatever came out of a box or a bag. I’m not that into food, and I guess, um, that’s why I’ve kind of quit eating. It doesn’t seem worth the bother. For a while I liked mole , but now it kind of has bad associations.” I was rambling.

“Don’t you even like chocolate?” Ms. Rothschild asked.

“It’s not my favorite. I mean, I get it, but it’s not my favorite.” I paused. “I used to like oranges.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not growing them right now.” She furrowed her brow. “It would take me three months to get a crop going, but by then, you’ll be gone. The Friedmans down the road might be growing them, so maybe I can arrange a trade. In the meantime, how about a peach?”

“I’m really not hungry,” I said. “Thank you for the offer. I’ve been traveling a long time. Would you mind showing me to my room?”

Ms. Rothschild barked at her ex-husband to get my suitcase. She linked her arm through mine. “How good are you with stairs?”

“Not great.”

“Charlie said that might be the case. I have a room for you on the ground floor. It’s my favorite bedroom and it looks out on the deck.”

She led me into the bedroom, which had a wide wooden bed with a white cotton cover on it. “Wait,” I said. “Is this your room?” It looked suspiciously like a master bedroom.

“This summer, it’s yours,” she said.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take your bedroom. Mr. Delacroix said something about a spare room.”

“The bed’s too big for me anyway. I’m sleeping alone these days and probably indefinitely. When your sister comes, she can share the room with you, if she likes. It’s big enough. Or she can take a different one upstairs.”

She kissed me on the cheek. “Tell me if I can get you anything,” she said. “I am glad you’ve come. The farm likes visitors, and so do I.”

* * *

The next day, Mr. Delacroix left for the city, and my sister arrived.

My sister was not alone, though I suppose this should not have come as a surprise.

“Win,” I said. “They didn’t say you were coming.” I was sitting at the kitchen table. I did not get up. I didn’t want to have to walk in front of him.

“I wanted to come,” he said. “I’ve always liked this house, and the summer program I was supposed to go to didn’t end up working out. Natty said she was coming, so I thought I’d make the trip with her.”

Natty hugged me. “You look awful, but at the same time, you look so much better,” she said. “Both awful and better.”

“A mixed review,” I said.

“Show me where the bedroom is. Win’s mom said we could share. It will be like when we were little.” Win was still watching us, and I didn’t want to have to rise from the table in front of him. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me, I guess. “Win can show you,” I said. “It’s the master. I’ll be along in a minute. I want to finish my water.”

Natty considered me. “Win,” she said, “could you leave Annie and me alone for a second?”

Win nodded. “Nice seeing you, Annie,” he said casually as he left.

She lowered her voice. “Something is wrong. What is it?”

“Well, I move like an old woman and it’s actually kind of hard for me to get up from this chair without my cane, which I left over there.” I pointed to the cupboard. “And I get … well … well, I get embarrassed.”

“Annie,” she said, “you’re being silly.” She took two graceful, easy steps, grabbed the cane, and handed it to me.

She offered me her arm, and I awkwardly shuffled to my feet.

“Isn’t this place beautiful?” she said rapturously. “I’m so glad to be here. Isn’t Win’s mom so pretty and nice? She looks like him, no? Aren’t we lucky?”

“Natty, you shouldn’t have invited Win.”

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