Gabrielle Zevin - In the Age of Love and Chocolate

“I have lunch after Beery, and then Beginners’ Fencing. And all through Fencing, the girl is making cracks about how I’m too much of a baby to control myself and how Pierce must like babies. She’s his ex, so she has it in for me. And then we’re sparring with each other, and she keeps talking crap, and I pull her mask off and punch her in the face. And she pulls mine off, and that’s how I got scratched.”

The secretary poked his head out of his office. “Balanchines. Headmaster will see you now.”

The scene with Headmaster was one I’d starred in many times before. Natty was suspended for a week. If her grades hadn’t been so stellar, her punishment probably would have been worse.

I dropped Natty off at home. “I have to go back to work. We’ll talk about this later. I don’t want you to go anywhere. Understood?”

“Whatever.”

“I’m on your side, Natty, and more than that, I can relate. Remember the first day of my junior year?”

“You dumped an entire tray of lasagna over Gable Arsley’s head.” She laughed a little. “He deserved it, too.”

“He did, but I still shouldn’t have done it. I should have gone to him or his parents or Nana or Mr. Kipling with my grievance. Please, Natty, look at me. Nothing in my life or anyone else’s has ever been improved by violence or fighting.”

“I need a speech from you right now like I need a hole in my head.” Natty sighed. “Why are we like this? Why are we so out of control?”

“Because terrible things happened to us when we were young. But it gets easier, Natty, I swear to God. And it will get even easier for you because you’re so much smarter than me. Not to mention, your hair is naturally straight.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you have any idea how much work it is to get my hair straight? I’m in a constant battle with frizz. It’s a wonder I haven’t murdered someone.” I kissed her on the cheek. “Everything’s going to be fine, you’ll see.”

“I’m tired, Annie. I think I’m going to take a nap, if that’s okay.” I didn’t feel superconfident that my talk had done much for her, but I figured I could improve on it later.

When I got home that night (or I should say morning —it was nearly three a.m.), Natty wasn’t there. She had left a message on my slate, which she knew I never brought with me anymore: Out with Pierce . It was way past city curfew, and she had explicitly ignored my instructions.

I paced around the foyer and tried to decide what to do. As a minor, Natty didn’t have a cell phone, and if I called the police, she’d be in trouble with the law. I looked around her room for Pierce’s number. I found a pack of condoms in her nightstand—was my baby sister having sex with this boy? On some level, I didn’t even want to know. And then I did finally locate Pierce’s phone number in her desk drawer.

He answered sleepily. “Pierce.”

“Hello, Pierce. Is my sister with you?”

“Yeah, she’s here. I’m handing her the phone right now.”

“What?” Natty said.

“Are you kidding me? Where are you? Do you have any idea what time it is?” I wasn’t even trying not to yell.

“Relax, Anya. I’m with Pierce—”

“Obviously.”

“I fell asleep here. It isn’t a big deal. Nothing happened. I’ll be home in the morning.”

“Are you kidding me? You are fourteen years old! You can’t up and spend the night at your boyfriend’s house.”

She hung up on me. I walked into the living room and threw my phone at the couch, not realizing that someone was lying on it.

“Ow!” Theo yelled. “What is wrong with you?”

“None of your business.” I didn’t want to go into it with him. “When are you getting a place of your own?”

“When my mean boss gives me some time off,” Theo said.

“Why are you even here? No date tonight?” Theo was popular in New York, to say the least. I didn’t know how he found the time, but he was with a different girl every night.

“No, tonight I get beauty sleep.” Theo handed me my phone.

“Lucky you.”

In my bedroom, I didn’t even try to sleep. I stared at the ceiling, hoping the cracks in the plaster might offer some insight regarding what I should do. I thought of myself, lying in this same bed at age sixteen, the year everything had begun to go so horribly wrong. What would sixteen-year-old Anya have wanted someone to do for her?

I waited until five a.m. to call Mr. Kipling. “I need to find a new school for Natty. Something strict, but with good academics. Something far away from here.”

Mr. Kipling was quick. Several hours later, he reported that he had found a convent school in Boston that was willing to take her in the middle of the semester.

“Are you sure about this, Anya?” Mr. Kipling asked. “It’s a big decision, and you don’t want to be hasty.”

I went into Natty’s bedroom and packed a suitcase. I was closing the suitcase when she came through the door. She looked from me to the packed suitcase. “What’s this?”

“Look,” I said, “we both know that I’m not being a good guardian to you right now. I’m too busy with the club to watch you—”

“I don’t need to be watched!”

“You do, Natty. You’re a kid, and I’m worried that if I don’t act now, your whole life is going to be ruined. Look what happened to Scarlet.”

“Pierce is nothing like Gable Arsley!”

“I see you making mistakes now that you’re with him. I see you heading down a bad road.” I took a deep breath. “I said before that I didn’t want you to end up like Scarlet, but the person I don’t want you to end up like is”—it was so hard to admit—“me.”

My sister looked at me with the saddest expression. “Annie! Annie, don’t say that! Look at the club you made.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I got myself kicked out of school. Maybe it seems like my life is working out right now, but I want you to have more options than I had. I don’t want you to end up working in a nightclub. I don’t want you to have anything to do with chocolate or our rotten Family. I truly believe that you’re destined for better.”

Natty wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “You’re making me cry.”

“I’m sorry. This school Mr. Kipling found for you has a great science program, much better than HT’s.” I tried to make my voice upbeat. “And wouldn’t it be great to be somewhere no one knew anything about you? A place where no one had any preconceptions.”

“Stop trying to sell me, Anya. Maybe you want me out of your hair. Maybe you want me to be someone else’s problem for a while.”

“That isn’t true! Do you have any idea how horribly lonely I’m going to be without you? You are my sister and there is no one in this whole lousy dystopia I love more than you. But I’m scared, Natty. I’m scared I’m messing everything up. I don’t know the right things to do for you right now. I barely know the right things to do for myself most of the time. I wish Daddy were alive. Or Mom or Nana. Because I’m only eighteen and I have no idea what to say, what you need. What I know is I wish someone had gotten me out of New York City when I was having such a rough time at Holy Trinity. I wish someone had gotten me away from Mr. Beery and people like him, and our relatives, too.”

She fought me on the cab ride to Penn Station and at the ticket counter (to the amusement of a youth athletic team—I saw the bag of balls, but could not identify the sport), and now she was still fighting me in the waiting area under the departures sign. A panhandler nudged my sister and said, “Give her a break.” Her was me, by the way, and even the homeless thought I needed defending from the fourteen-year-old haranguer.