Vivian Arend: Black Gold

“Really?” His hand shook. The liquid in his glass sloshed and Shaun lapped the spilt alcohol off his fingers carefully. It wouldn’t do to make a mess in his Alpha’s office. “Then tell me big secrets, man. The kind of stuff you don’t share with anyone, but think about when you’re all alone…” sniff “…alone. Like me. Fuck.”

There was a reason he wasn’t supposed to do this, but he couldn’t remember the specifics. He held the glass to his lips and tossed his head back. An icy sensation bled down his throat, seconds before the cold morphed into daggers stabbing his brain from the inside out.

“Shaun! Damn fool, that’s it, you’re cut off.”

The glass disappeared from his fingers. The same fingers that glowed in a wonderful Aurora Borealis imitation. It was as if all the flames he’d consumed were attempting to escape from his body through his skin.

The visuals were either very cool or very creepy.

The cushions of the couch reached up fluffy fingers to cradle him tighter, and Shaun sighed. Evan’s face appeared in his line of vision, the man’s dark hair waving as he shook his head.

“I know it’s strong, but, damn. You have the worst tolerance for moonshine of any shifter I’ve ever met.” Evan hauled a chair over, the feet screeching on the wooden floor. The shiver up Shaun’s spine exploded out his ears.

“Ouch.”

Evan leaned back and crossed his arms. He cupped his chin for a moment then dropped his hand to point at Shaun.

“You know what your problem is? You don’t have a mission.”

“I need a mission?” Cool . Didn’t know that was a requirement of the Takhini pack.

“Something to give you a reason to get up in the morning. Shaun, I’ve watched you since you settled back in Whitehorse. You’re listless. You fight if you have to, but you don’t enjoy it, not even when you win.”

“I always win.”

Evan nodded. “Of course you do, because you’re a strong wolf. But you succeed without even trying. It’s easy for you to win against the punks who come to try you. The more experienced wolves avoid you—they know you’re strong, even if you are a little stupid.”

“Hey—”

“Because you’re not fighting to become a leader in the pack. You’re simply fighting to fight.” Evan shook his head and that finger popped out again. Shaun tried tracking the shaking object, but he found it damn near impossible to tell which was the real finger amongst the liquor haze.

Okay, this was interesting, but a bit too much like therapy.

“I don’t want your job,” Shaun blurted out. Hell would be preferable to run. At least demons were predictable, unlike wolves who were endlessly creative in coming up with new mischief to try.

“You don’t want my job.” Evan shot back, his confidence screaming out.

Shaun hesitated. “Did we already have this conversation? It sounds familiar.”

“You don’t want to be Alpha, Shaun. You’d have to actually give a damn about someone then.”

Ouch. The words percolated through the alcohol haze, and a thin line of cold ran up his core. “What a fucker of a comment. If I’m that much of an asshole, why did you let me return to the pack?”

“Because at the root of it, you’re only an asshole because you don’t give a damn about yourself right now either, and I’m getting annoyed at your stupid refusal to grow up.”

Okay, that was one step too far . “And did you get this special bullshit training in Alpha school or—?”

Suddenly Evan was right in Shaun’s face, and he couldn’t budge. Evan had him pinned in a neck hold, trapping his body against the couch. There was no air getting through his windpipe, and Shaun scrambled his fingers over Evan’s forearm. Stars appeared in front of his eyes, glowing even brighter than the mysterious Northern Lights clouding everything else in the room.

“Don’t mistake my tolerance for weakness.” Evan hissed in his ear. Dangerous. Shaun fought back as hard as possible and barely moved. Evan held him immobile. “You’re a damn good wolf, and I’m getting tired of seeing you waste your life. You don’t need to want to save the world, but you need to care enough to do what’s right for more than simply a lark.”

Blessed air flooded into his lungs as Evan released him, settling him back into the couch’s soft surface. Shaun stared at his Alpha, shocked nearly sober—well, maybe not that. Definitely chastised enough to remember a few manners, though.

“I’m…sorry.”

Evan shrugged. “I am too. I don’t usually lose my temper.” He retook his seat, sipping his moonshine as he stared into the fire. “You need to face it, Shaun. We’re wolves. We like having a pack around, but there are times it’s not the pack we long for.”

Fuck. Shaun didn’t think he’d told anyone about the ache in his gut for a mate. For the feeling of truly belonging. “Have I been talking in my sleep or something?”

Evan shook his head, holding his glass up to the light after a quick sip. “Love it when this stuff kicks in and people lose track of whole threads of conversation. No, Shaun, you told me a few minutes ago. You’re lonely. You’d give anything to find your mate. But in the meantime, you’re going to be the best damn wolf there is, and get off your ass and do something for someone else who can’t possibly repay you.”

Shaun sniffed. “My God, I’m so charitable. Is that really what I said?”

Evan leaned forward on his elbows and nodded seriously. “I was very impressed, my friend. And you said you would start right away.”

“Awesome.” Wow . He had a purpose in life. A goal, and he was going to be a hero to…someone. His throat tightened with emotion—delight, determination…confusion. There was one trouble. The only things in his mind were the delightful pink and purple clouds morphing into elephants and crashing rhinos right before his eyes. “Did I tell you what I was going to do?”

“Not a word. Top secret, all that shit. But I’m sure you’ll let me know when it’s appropriate.”

“Cool.” Shaun relaxed back into the cushions. There was something so right about hanging out with Evan. “I love you, man.”

Evan choked on his drink, his face turning bright red as he coughed his lungs out for a second. His expression transitioned to one worthy of a long-suffering and indulgent older brother. “That’s great. Now I think you are ready to crash for the night.”

Shaun peeked at his watch. The digital numbers were impossible to see, but he pressed onward. Faking it worked for many things. “Oh my, is that the time? I’m going to turn into a pumpkin.”

Evan nodded slowly, his expression twisting into an evil grin. “Sure you are, big guy. Six thirty is oh-so-late for a weeknight. Tell you what. I’ll pop you into one of the empty hotel rooms.”

Brilliant . His Alpha was the most brilliant man he’d ever met. “Good idea.” Shaun stood then dropped to a low crouch to counter all the heaving underfoot. “Fuck—is that an earthquake?”

Evan clicked his tongue like a mother hen, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out the back exit and down a side hall. “Trust me, it’s not the floor that’s shaking.”

He swiped a keycard and pushed open a door.

Mercy sakes, that was a king-plus bed, and the enormous thing was calling his name soooo sweetly. Shaun turned and impulsively hugged Evan. “I love you, man,” he repeated.

“You probably aren’t going to like me very much in the morning but, yeah, fine. I love you too. Now sleep it off, dude.”

Blessed darkness beckoned, and Shaun strolled forward, stripping as he went. Before the outer door clicked shut behind him, he yanked back the covers and collapsed face-first onto the mattress, a groan of pleasure escaping his lips.