S. Yule - Lycan Christmas

“Hi.” Lorent frowned. “What are you two doing on this side of Sanctuary?”

“Whoa. We’re legit.” Reid held up his hands in mock surrender.

“Yeah, Brent asked us to bring some of the Christmas decorations over that were stored in one of the sheds by our cabins.” Reilly glared at Lorent as if challenging him to question their explanation.

Reid and Reilly were only a couple years younger than him, but those couple of years said a lot for maturity. Lorent liked Reid and Reilly just fine, felt them to be genuine in their wishes to reform, but both were troublemakers. Not so much in an unkind, dangerous way, but in a punk-ass-need-a-kick-in-the-shorts sort of way. They were what he thought having two younger siblings might be like. Overall good kids, but obnoxious pains—

always showing up at the wrong time and wrong place. Kind of like right now.

“I wasn’t questioning your legitimacy , only wondering what you were up to.” Lorent had no reason to doubt them.

“But since we ran into you, maybe you’d like to help us with a project.”

Reid’s lips turned up in a devilish grin.

Lorent was sure he wasn’t going to like what they had planned, much less want be a part of it. He sighed, thankful that at least their appearance had taken his mind off of his turmoil over Melony, even if only for a few moments.

“What project might that be?”

Reid glanced at Reilly and nodded before they both stepped closer. Both leaned in before Reilly started talking in a low voice.

“You see, we thought that it might be funny to pull a prank on Brent,

’cause, you know, he’s always on our ass and all. I mean, don’t get us wrong, we like the guy. We just wanted to put one over on him.”

“What is it that you two are planning?” Lorent frowned.

Reid filled Lorent in on their plan, and while Lorent found it childish, doubted it would work, it was completely harmless. He also didn’t want to be any part of it. He wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardize him finishing his training. He wished the two luck—they’d need lots of it—and they disappeared into the woods.

He grinned while thinking about how funny it would be if they actually managed to pull it off, and nearly chuckled when he thought about how entertaining it would be to watch Brent kick their asses if they got one over on him. Brent was a great guy. Lorent trusted him to be fair, as he did Anthony, Knox, Raze, and Piers. No major repercussions would befall Reid or Reilly, and he was certain Brent would be a good sport—after he knocked their two skulls together.

Lorent went deeper into the forest and made his way toward his secret place. At least it was secret so far, as he’d never smelled another lycan’s presence in it. Of course, that could change at any time.

The forest was for anyone’s use at Sanctuary, but for now, it was his. The darkening sky cast deep shadows over the ground as he picked his way through the brush, thick even though nearly stripped clean of its leaves by fall. Finally, he stepped through to a clearing with a small pool that was fed from the stream that ran through most of the grounds.

The rising moon reflected off the pool’s surface, and he breathed deep.

He’d found this place a few months after he’d arrived at Sanctuary and came here often to read, be alone, or just think.

Sometimes he bathed in the small pool and let its coolness soothe his muscles. He wouldn’t do so tonight, but not because it was too cold. With his lycan temperature, he could go into the water as long as it wasn’t iced over and not freeze to death, but he didn’t want to be gone too long with the holiday quickly approaching. He might be needed to do some last-minute tasks, and he didn’t want to be questioned if he was missed.

A smile tugged at his lips as the sound of the gently moving water eased his inner turmoil. But that comfort disappeared just as quickly when a pair of plump pink lips and chocolate brown eyes came to mind. As he sat on a fallen tree, he touched his lips with his fingers, recalling the brush of her mouth against his. He scoffed, picked up a small pebble, and flicked it across the pool, where it skipped across the still surface several times before sinking.

He thought back on the years he’d spent with rogues, of all the potential mates he’d witnessed being abused or worse. The naïveté, stupidity, and sheer refusal to learn about lycan laws were killing his race, and he would have never known had fate not led him here. How had he come to find his mate when he’d done nothing to save the mates of countless others? He didn’t deserve her, but she was his nonetheless. Then another problem occurred to him.

Problem? He snorted. More like a maelstrom of disaster. How could he ever expect to claim Melony when he had no idea how to love her? No one had ever loved him, and he’d never been close with anyone. He cared about the people at Sanctuary, knew they cared about him, but was that love? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he’d recognize such an emotion . He picked up another rock and threw it across the pool with more force. This time it skipped the width of the water, smacked into a tree on the other side, and bounced into the forest.

He stood and paced back and forth. Good God. He’d never be able to give her what she needed. At the very least, she deserved a man who could love her, and he couldn’t guarantee he’d be able to do that. He’d cherish her, protect her, try his best to make her happy, but would that be enough? The selfish side of him swelled with pride at the thought that she might grow to love him. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if she loved him, only him, above all others, but it wouldn’t be fair of him to expect that from her when he might not be able to reciprocate.

It wasn’t honorable of him to claim her, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep from doing so in the end. She was made for him, and he was made for her. But why would fate give such a bum deal to Melony? She was beautiful, feminine, caring, sexy, and should be with a man who could love her with a fiery passion that he was sure she was capable of giving in return.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, thinking about having all of that fiery passion burning under him as he took her.

A small voice in the back of his brain asked when he’d ever considered himself honorable. True, he hadn’t been in the past, but since he’d dedicated himself to reformation, he liked to believe he’d become honorable. An honorable man would love his mate, give her his heart and soul. He had no problem doing the second two. It was the love thing again. Hell, if he were honest, she already held his heart and soul in her tiny palm. She had the power to crush him if she so chose, but he didn’t believe she’d ever hurt him intentionally. He’d never hurt her intentionally. It was the unintentional part that had him worried.

He stood and smoothed his jeans down his legs. He had to do the decent thing, the right thing, and keep his hands off her. He started back to his cabin. Tonight he would shift and run until exhaustion wrung every last thought of claiming Melony from his brain, although at this point, he wasn’t sure even death could do that.

This time fate had made a mistake. He couldn’t allow anyone to know she was his, or he’d be expected to claim her. He had a duty to his race to make her his, have sons with her, raise their young to respect lycan rules, and help them become good men, men who would be part of the next generation who would fight for the survival of their species.

But none of it mattered. Whatever obligations may be expected of him, he could not subject Melony to a loveless union. He knew firsthand what it was like to always feel disposable, to never be loved, and she deserved better.