Sondrae Bennett: Chasing Paradise

Glancing at the clock, Gwen was startled to see it was almost ten in the morning. She never slept this late. Then again, she didn’t usually stay up as late as she had with Ethan, either.

The late hour encouraged her. He’d probably gone downstairs to get something to eat. Wolves weren’t the most patient shifters, especially when it came to food.

Chuckling to herself, Gwen quickly flung the covers aside and jumped out of bed. If she hurried, she might be able to catch him in the hotel restaurant and share a meal. Another giggle escaped as she pulled on some clothes. She was so damn happy.

How lucky was she? Just as she despaired, wondering if she’d ever find her mate, he strolled right on through the doors of her resort and straight into her arms. He hadn’t been able to resist her any more than she had been able to resist him.

Her otter cooed in contentment within her chest as her future with Ethan played out in her mind. There would be children and love and affection. Everything she’d ever dreamed of.

Eager to join her new mate, Gwen hurried through her morning routine and rushed out the door, turning down a shortcut that would take her through the staff kitchens and hotel bar.

Ethan sat at the resort bar with his head in his hands.

“What would you like, sir?” He looked into the cheerful face of the male otter and had to resist the urge to growl. What was wrong with him? He hadn’t felt like himself since leaving Gwen this morning. The urge to lash out at those around him, to fight with any male in the room, kept rising up. Every second he stayed away was a fight with his wolf.

“Ugh, something strong.” Ethan groaned, hoping a drink would take the edge off his nerves.

The bartender’s eyebrows rose and he glanced at his watch before moving to pour the drink. Ethan’s wolf tried the whole time to pull him back to Gwen’s room, but he refused to give in. His wolf would thank him one day. Until then, he needed something to dull his senses.

Although he was only a couple years younger than his brother Jason, unlike him, he wasn’t ready to mate. Yes, his wolf would understand someday. But in the meantime, it felt as if his body was being torn in two.

A long growl grew in Ethan’s chest, causing the bartender to stare at him warily as he set a glass of straight whiskey in front of him.

“I saw you with Gwen last night, didn’t I?” the man ventured. Ethan looked at him, wondering where this conversation was going.

“Yeah?”

“She never sleeps with guests, you know? You must mean something special to her.”

There was a calculating gleam in the man’s gaze that set Ethan on edge. The bartender better be careful. With his wolf this close to the surface, Ethan didn’t have as much control as normal.

“It was just a one night stand. It didn’t mean anything for either of us.”

“You sure? If I know Gwen, she wouldn’t have behaved that way for anyone but her mate.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s not my mate.” His wolf cried inside him as the words left his mouth, fighting hard for control. But for good measure, he went one step further to hammer the point home. “Besides, she isn’t the kind of woman I’d choose for my mate. A jaguar or a coyote is a good mate for a wolf.” Ethan didn’t believe a word he was saying. The woman he’d just left would be a perfect mate for him.

“Mating is a long way off for me,” he muttered.

Gwen leaned against the wall in the kitchen behind the bar listening as Ethan discussed the reasons she was ineligible for his mate. A small mewl of distress escaped her before she could contain it.

A jaguar or a coyote is a good mate for a wolf… Her heart almost burst. No matter how hard she tried to put a positive spin on his words, nothing came to her. Ethan didn’t want her.

Tears tracked down her cheeks but, even though they were silent, she still caught the sympathetic gazes as the staff milled around her. All her hopes and dreams for the future crashed around her in jagged shards, cutting into her on the way down. No matter what Ethan claimed, she knew the truth. Ethan’s wolf was mate to her otter. She’d never been more certain of anything in her life. But despite what his wolf wanted, the man didn’t want the woman. Their animals were made for each other, but that didn’t guarantee a happily-ever-after.

Ignoring the staff, Gwen continued to listen as Ethan denied everything between them. She forced herself to stay, needing to hear this. All of it.

After it appeared he had wound down, Gwen silently crept away, avoiding the gazes and concerned hands reaching for her. When she made it back to her room, she collapsed on the bed, allowing the sobs of grief to escape her at last. No one would hear her in her room as the weight of despair crushed her.

In her darkest hours, she had imagined not finding her mate, or finding him after she was too old to have children. Never did she imagine not being good enough for her mate once she found him.

With fierce resolve, Gwen rose to a sitting position, wiping the tears off her cheeks. Screw that! He wasn’t good enough for her . She was successful and smart and had a good sense of humor. She managed one of the most successful shifter resorts in the world. Who the hell was he to claim she wasn’t good enough?

A knock at the door interrupted her silent rant. She thought about ignoring it, but as if reading her thoughts, the knocking became more insistent.

“Gwen, I can hear you crying. You’d better open this door right now or I’m breaking it down.” Alyssa’s voice drifted through the solid panel of wood. It figured her best friend would find her eventually. Gossip among the staff always spread quickly. Why would her failure be any different?

Throwing open the door, Gwen took one look at her friend and burst into renewed sobs. Strong arms encircled her small frame and eased the door shut, enclosing them in Gwen’s room. Alyssa was her rock, the one person she knew without a doubt would always be there for her. They’d been inseparable since childhood, despite Gwen being older by three years.

“Oh, sweetheart. What happened?”

Gwen sniveled out the whole sordid affair between sobs, letting her anger and frustration bleed through. Shocked silence met her story until Gwen revealed what she heard in the bar.

“Bastard!” Gwen smiled at the affronted anger expressed on her behalf. “You deserve so much better. Want me to beat him up for you? Say the word, I’ll do it. I may not look like much but I have a mean right hook.”

“You’re a good friend, you know that?” Alyssa always knew how to cheer her up.

“Of course I do.” Both women sat, lost in their own thoughts for a moment. “So what are you going to do now?” The quiet question hung in the air, taunting Gwen.

What was she going to do? The thought of watching Ethan flirt with other guests and staff for the next two weeks was more painful than she could bear. She feared she wouldn’t be able to stand it. Would beg him to come back to her, destroyingher pride along with everything else. Or worse, that he’d use her and she’d be unable to resist. She couldn’t let that happen.

Seeming to sense her distress, Alyssa bumped shoulders with her. “Don’t worry. I give him one day before he’s banging on your door again, crawling back.”

“No.” The statement was quiet but resolved. “He doesn’t want me, Lyssa. It’s not just him denying I’m his mate. He doesn’t want a ‘woman like me’ as his mate. I’m better than that. Damn it, I deserve more than that.” Gwen was quiet for a moment, contemplating her next course of action.

“I have some vacation days saved up. Maybe I’ll go visit Ty’s ranch in Nevada I haven’t seen him in a while.” Ty had worked at the resort for a summer a few years ago and the three had become fast friends. Gwen and Ty had even dated for a while, but it had never been serious. Both had known the other wasn’t a mate, simply good company. After he left to make his own way in the world, she’d kept in contact and they remained good friends. “Besides, it might be good to get away for a few days…or until Ethan checks out.”