M. Buehrlen - The 57 Lives of Alex Wayfare

I closed my eyes, refusing for my life to end that way. I pictured Blue’s teasing smile. Felt his hand in mine. Heard Audrey’s laugh. Saw her fingers turn the pages of Robert Burns. Saw Mom’s chestnut hair tangle in front of her face in the wind. Dad’s grin when he throws the Mustang into third. Claire snuggled next to me during movie night, tucking her ice-cold feet under my legs for warmth. Gran singing Blue Skies. Pops rocking in his chair on the back porch, smoking his pipe.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and onto Argus’ hands. I’d failed them. All because I was too stubborn and too angry with Porter and Blue to think sensibly.

“Hvad venter du på, Argus?” I heard Gesh say through the rush of blood in my ears. What are you waiting for, Argus?

My eyes flew open.

Gesh’s henchman was still staring at me, but something had changed in his expression. The hateful snarl was gone. Argus narrowed his eyes at me and spoke in clear English, “I told you we’d talk about Levi later. Why didn’t you trust me?”

My eyes went round. So did Gesh’s.

Then Argus dropped me onto the desk, spun around, and slammed a brick-like fist into Gesh’s face.

Gesh collapsed into a heap on the floor.

WILL THE REAL SNITCH PLEASE STAND UP?

I stared at Argus’ beefy frame, paralyzed with shock, my cheeks coated with tears. “Porter?”

Porter turned around in Argus’ massive body and wiped the sweat from his tall, sloping forehead. “Of course it’s me. You didn’t think I’d let something like this happen, did you?”

“I don’t know,” I said, my voice nearing the screeching octaves. My nerves were completely shot. “My faith in you is a little shaky right now.”

He grabbed me by the arm, pulled me out of Gesh’s office, and guided me into a medical supply closet across the hall. He flicked on the light and motioned for me to lower my voice, but I ignored him.

“How could you not tell me you were Flemming?” I screeched. “How?”

He winced and rubbed his temple. It was a typical Porter move, but it looked totally out of character for Argus.

I had to get a grip. The man standing before me was Porter. He’d descended into Argus’ body. But the man down the hall, the forty year-old Flemming, was also Porter.

Two Porters in the same building. Two gigantic liars of epic proportions.

“All this time I thought you were some kind of hero,” I said, my hands shaking. “A Descender gone rogue, just like me. When all along you were the one who created me. You were the one who reincarnated me. You were the one who did all those experiments on me and Blue.”

“Alex–”

“I never asked for any of this. I never asked to be reincarnated. To be a Descender. You pushed it on me. You’re nothing but a liar and a manipulator. You’re no better than Gesh.”

“Now that is enough,” Porter said, slicing the air with his hand. Anger rumbled beneath his skin. “I know I kept the truth from you. I know I forced this life on you. And I am sorry about that. A hundred times sorry. There is not a day that goes by I don’t wish I’d made better choices. But you do not get to be angry with me right now. It’s my turn to be angry with you. Do you have any idea the catastrophic impact you’ve caused? Do you even know what you’ve done to history?”

“I screwed up, OK? I’m sorry you’re pissed because you had to come save the day. I get it. But on the ‘catastrophic impact’ level, I think you’ve done a lot more damage than I have. At least we can go back and erase the mess I made. All your messes are set in stone.”

“No, Alex,” he said. “We can’t erase this. I think this is a fixed point in time. I think you’ve created a Variant.” He heaved a sigh and all his anger diffused, leaving his shoulders slumped. Like a deflated balloon.

“What do you mean? What’s a Variant?”

“It means all this has already happened. You changed the past. You’ve created an alternate timeline.” His eyes met mine. “The world is the way it is in Base Life now because you came back here to see Tre.”

I shook my head slowly, almost involuntarily. “I don’t understand.”

His frame deflated even more. He swallowed, almost as if it pained him to speak. “Have you spoken to Flemming at all since you’ve been here?”

“You mean have I spoken to you?” I said, glaring.

“Yes. Have you spoken to me?”

“Yes.”

“What did you say?”

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell him. Something told me I wouldn’t like where this was headed.

“I need to know,” Porter said. “Where we go from here hinges on the exact words you spoke to me. I need to know if I’m right about this.”

I chewed my bottom lip and folded my arms across my chest. I lifted my chin. “I said, ‘You’re a liar.’”

His eyes closed. He deflated further until he was hunched over, holding his face in his hands. Hopelessness hung from his sleeves.

This was bad. Something was very wrong. I reached out and touched his shoulder, more worried now than angry. “Porter?”

“Alex.” He lifted his eyes to mine, his hands on his knees. “That’s what Ivy said to me the day she left. This is the day Ivy escaped AIDA. Only it wasn’t Ivy who escaped all those years ago. It was you.”

A numbness rolled across my skin, leaving behind burning tracks. I shook my head again, not knowing how to respond.

“I didn’t realize it was even a possibility at the time,” Porter continued, standing up. “I didn’t even think about it until I got to know you in Base Life. Ivy wouldn’t have spoken to me like that, but you?” He let out a short, dry laugh. “It wasn’t until yesterday when you confronted me about seeing Nick again that everything clicked. I knew you wouldn’t be able to let it go, thinking your friend had betrayed you. I knew you’d want closure. And that made me wonder what might happen if you decided to travel back in time on your own to get it. When I refused to tell you about Levi, it simply pushed you over the edge.”

The straw that broke the camel’s back.

I stared at him, unable to speak. No air passed through my lungs.

“Everything is the way it is in your Base Life because of this moment,” Porter said. “After this, you escape with Levi and Tre. Gesh shuts down the program. He sets fire to these labs. I track you down a few days before you die. Then I reincarnate you and spend the next seventeen years watching you grow into a young woman all over again.” Porter placed both of Argus’ meaty hands on my shoulders, making me look at his ugly face. “Our lives are the way they are now because of this one choice you made. And it cannot be erased. You have to go back to your Base Life without doing a touchdown. Otherwise life as you know it will end.”

My body shuddered beneath his thick, sweaty palms. My knees threatened to give out as the weight of his words weighed on my shoulders. My heels sunk into the concrete.

“Don’t you see, Alex?” Porter’s eyes swam with pity. “Tre wasn’t the snitch. He didn’t tell Gesh you were traveling again. You did.”

THE ULTIMATE PLAGUE

My knees buckled. Porter caught me under the arms and lowered me to the cold concrete floor. If I had been in my Base Life, I would’ve had the mother of all asthma attacks.

I sat like a stiffened corpse against the wall of the closet, paralyzed. Porter squatted before me in Argus’ behemoth body, his hands poised to catch me in case I fainted. But I was too angry to faint. In that moment, I hated myself so much, I wanted to feel every ounce of pain this realization caused. Every prick. Every cut.