A. Arthur - Hunger for You

And the really amazing thing was that a big part of me wanted him to look, and possibly touch. I don’t know, it was crazy, just as I’d thought before. Caleb wasn’t my boyfriend, and yet, I kind of felt like maybe, what if he was?

He shrugged. “It’s a free country.”

I didn’t know what else to say or do. Considering the fact that fifteen minutes ago I’d been thinking about not having seen him in seven days, one would think I’d be full of conversation. But all I could think about was how well those jeans fit his legs and that shirt—even though it was a Pittsburgh Steelers shirt—looked draped over his chest.

“Whatever,” I ended up saying again and quickly got the hell out of that aisle.

Five minutes later I was in the automated checkout line trying to hurry up and pay for my purchases—which for the record were not everything I needed. I was stuffing things in my recyclable grocery bags and about to turn around and leave when I bumped right into a chest built like a concrete wall.

“Need some help?” he asked.

Oh boy, did I. I needed help keeping my raging hormones in check.

“No. I’m fine. Thank you,” I said, my voice cracking on the last word. I swallowed hard to keep from saying anything else ridiculous, or at best not having my voice show how nervous he was making me.

He only lifted a brow as he said, “I won’t be cliché and say that you are absolutely fine.”

I closed my eyes, couldn’t help it, I loved his voice. I loved the way it was deep and smooth and sent tingles down my spine as if he’d actually touched me there. “No. Please don’t be cliché.”

“But I will walk you to your car.”

Damn, he was persistent and I wasn’t sure I could continue to attempt to ignore him, or the effect that he was having on me. “It’s okay, I can get there on my own. And it’s broad daylight so there’s no need for the extra protection.”

He ignored my words and grasped my arm. Flashbacks flew before my eyes like a movie on rewind, hitting, crying, screaming, pain. All at once each memory slapped at me and I didn’t have time to stop the reaction, didn’t have a moment to take the deep breaths, to look at something else, to concentrate, to hold it all in.

I screamed as if he’d smacked me, the sound echoing through the air. When my lips finally clamped shut, my teeth chattered and I looked around to see people in the market had stopped and stared. Caleb also stared, after he’d dropped my arm like it was a hissing snake.

It was the moment I’d dreaded happening all my life, the instant that somebody, anybody might pick up on the signs and figure out that the life I’d pretended to lead was a lie. My heart hammered in my chest as everything around me, all the people gawking at me, even Caleb’s slightly confused glare, spun around me, making me dizzy, woozy, possibly about to faint. Knowing that would only prolong the embarrassment, I did the next best thing. I got the hell out of that store before the questions could begin.

“He hurt you, didn’t he?”

The voice that I thought I might be falling a little bit in love with sounded angry, and just a bit cold. I continued walking until I was near my trunk, using the key to open it without daring to look at him.

“My arm got caught in the car door,” I said with a measure of self-disgust that I’d never felt before.

I slammed my trunk closed after putting the two bags of food I’d purchased inside. Caleb stood right in front of me looking as angry as he had eight nights ago.

“You’re lying,” he accused, his intense glare pinning me as if that would bring the truth out.

I was determined to stand my ground, didn’t feel like I had any other choice really. “I’m not.”

“You are, I can smell it.”

“What? Who smells lies?” I held up a hand to stop his response. “Forget it. I told you what happened and now I’m leaving.”

His eyes grew darker, his brows furrowing. There was no doubt he was angry, his next words only punctuated that fact as they were spoken through clenched teeth. “I told you I wouldn’t let him hurt you.”

I felt like he was engulfing me, his words, that is. The way he’d said them, the way he’d looked at me was almost the equivalent of him wrapping his arms around me, shielding me from all that was bad in the world. It was breathtaking and a little frightening at the same time.

“It’s not up to you to ‘let’ anything happen where I’m concerned. I’m not your girlfriend,” I told him because it was important that I kept reminding myself of that fact. It was imperative that we both knew what our boundaries were.

Facts and boundaries be damned, Caleb came closer, using a finger to tip my chin upward so that I was once again staring into those smoldering eyes of his.

“You shouldn’t be his either,” he said in a low, gruff voice that raked over my skin in the softest, hottest touch I’d ever experienced.

I sighed, because there really was no reason to be angry with Caleb. Dex had slammed the door with my arm still in the way. He’d apologized profusely and said it was a mistake, but the smirk on his face as he’d looked back at his friends proved that was a lie. I could admit that, even if only to myself. Just as I had to admit that Caleb’s protective instinct toward me made me tremble and want to fall into his arms to shelter in said protection.

“It’s not a big deal, Caleb,” I said, hoping he would finally believe me. “I know how to take care of myself.”

At least I’d thought I did. I’d convinced myself that it wasn’t an issue, it wasn’t as if he’d slapped me or beaten me down to the ground until I was unconscious, as my stepfather had done to my mother on too many occasions to count.

“It is a big deal because he’s hurting you,” he insisted. “I told you I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Why should you even care?” I asked one of the many questions that had been on my mind for the last week or so where Caleb was concerned. “I’m not your responsibility.”

But I sure did like that he felt like I was, that he wanted to take care of me even though it was unnecessary. I also liked the feeling of his fingers on my skin, the warmth from his body transferring slowly into mine. He must have read my mind because he rewarded me by cupping my face in both hands. It was a possessive move so I should have backed away, should have felt compelled to run as I often did whenever Dex came closer than I liked. Instead, all I could feel was the balminess, the heat spreading slowly throughout my body as if his hands were actually implanting it there.

“He’s bad, Zoe. He will continue to hurt you if you let him, if I let him.” His lips clenched and he shook his head slightly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t care, but I do.”

And he didn’t like that fact. I could see it in his eyes, the disappointment. I figured it was for feeling the way he shouldn’t, only because I was feeling a little of that myself. I shouldn’t be attracted to this meddling, mysterious guy and he shouldn’t give a damn about some neurotic and confused girl.

“I can take care of myself,” I told him again. “I’ve been doing it for a long time now.”

At first he looked like he wanted to say something else. Then his head lowered, he came closer, and for one glorious instant I thought he was going to kiss me.

I jumped at the sound of the car horn and Caleb swore, pulling his hands away from my face. The warmth was immediately missed and as I looked across the parking lot to see Hanna jumping out of her car I actually wanted to scream for her to go back, to not have beeped that horn or pulled up in this parking lot. Because the truth was, I wanted Caleb to kiss me, more than I wanted anything else at that moment.