Ви Корс - The Mist and the Lightning. Part IV

I was taking part in the battles as well, but usually I was used in another way”… she paused again, it was obvious how hard this story was for her, her friends were patiently silent, letting her find her courage.

“I was being used as a spy. A young girl, half-blood, there’s a lot of them at the border, at every fortress, every little town. And at every camp of the “reds”, too, lots of made servants, washwomen, scullery maids, whom nobody notices. I wasn’t afraid of anything,

was bold and abrasive, successful at everything I did, got away with everything. And my pride and stupidity took me very far east, I have penetrated into a camp of a very strong and dangerous leader of the “reds” and settled there. How many “blacks” he destroyed, how many lives he took, how much of our land he has burned! Everybody were afraid of him, except for me, of course! I was so confident! And so I’ve started ruining all his plans, he and his commanders just grabbed their heads. Some of the very important operations were ruined thanks to me, their positions were at the edge of doom. And I rejoiced. I was sure they would never make me, and they really weren’t noticing me, they couldn’t even imagine some insignificant kitchen maid was capable of something like that. I wasn’t even nervous when they came for me, I couldn’t believe any of them managed to find out about me. I thought it wasn’t a big deal, these are troubled times so they are checking everybody, a couple of standard questions and they will let me go. That’s why I was smiling as I went, even when we came down to the basement my heart didn’t even twitch, I was so sure of myself. And then I saw him… his eyes… They didn’t even ask me any questions… He just hit me… And then his warriors… I would never forget it, that was the first and the only time in my life I was beaten like that, and I’m not sure I would survive a second one… And then he raped me… Right there in the basement, on the dirty, bloody floor. Him first, and then he allowed his warriors… How many of them there were, I don’t remember… From time to time they poured water over me, but towards the end I wasn’t even regaining consciousness, it all comes to me in flashes… That’s what my “first time” was like” – and she went silent, not looking at them.

Everybody else were silent, too.

“Forgive me if I unwittingly evoked some painful memories”, – Orel finally said. “It’s just that when we dared you to be honest, we couldn’t even suspect…”

“And what happened then? Afterwards?” – Tol interrupted, – “You managed to escape, didn’t you? You took your revenge on him, right?”

“Afterwards? Afterwards, I came to and realized that I’m going to die, if not this time, the next one. I’ll die if I don’t come up with something. And I did… Now I realize it wasn’t really… But back then… I just wanted to survive, all the rest came second. And the next time he came to interrogate me, I started pretending… That I like him… That I fell in love… I started obeying him… looking at him with devotion and admiration. And he

ordered his warriors not to touch me anymore. Even though they were asking to. Then he moved me from the basement to a better cell. Then started taking me to his rooms at night. At first he was really careful, of course, used to tie me up and watch me like a hawk, but I wasn’t trying to escape, even though he tried to trick me a couple of times, like I had a chance to get away. But I didn’t take the bait, I was all about

loving him and wanting to be with him, I betrayed the “blacks” for him. And even though he was very crooked, didn’t believe anybody and didn’t let anybody close, I managed to convince him in my devotion. “– Carina went silent again, sinking deep in thought for a long time.

“We were together for more than a year”, – she finally continued, – “Always close. He loved me with all his soul, his eyes lit up whenever he saw me, his cold heart softened at my smile. He used to say I was the only joy and happiness in his gloomy life, full of blood and murder. And then one night I took a knife… and stabbed him in the heart. And escaped’, – and seeing that everybody are still silent, Carina shouted ‘’That’s it, end of story! Come on, say something, don’t shut up like that!

“Did he die?” – Tol asked.

“No. He woke up a second before my blow, and he always wore a ring with “black water” inside on his finger, just in case, he poured the water right into the wound and survived. But I found out much later.

“You stayed with him more than a year, pretending to love him and knowing you’re going to kill him?” – Orel asked. – “But you are a monster, Carina, worse than us, or at least worth us!”

“He was an enemy”, – Carina said quietly, – “And I couldn’t betray my people…”

“That’s fucking cold!” – Tol roared. – “Me likey! Waiting till he falls in love! Atta-girl! Now, that’s a revenge! And what’s going on with this “red” right now, any idea?

“Like I said, he survived, but his luck turned away from him, he started losing, defeat after defeat, total doom.

"Serves him right! I hate the 'reds'! All the pain they caused us!" – Tol went on and on.

"He wasn't a complete "red", he was a half-blood".

"Obviously, the "half-bloods" are even worse than the "reds", just like our Lis! By the way, he might have known him, what was that commander's name?"

"His name was Sigmer" – Carina said slowly, – "The 'blacks' used to call him Sigmer-Death."

Orel squeezed his temples within his palms, as if he suddenly got a headache.

"Shit, totally forgot, I've got something important to do…" – Enriki mumbled indistinctly, and without even finishing the sentence hurried towards the stairs to the second floor. Squint-Eye was right behind him, not even bothering to make up an excuse.

"We must go, too" – Orel said. "It's time we attend to business. Tol!" – he called, giving Tol a meaningful stare.

"What business, in the middle of the night" – Tol muttered grumpily, it didn't seem like he's about to go anywhere, even though he took Orel's hint.

"To-o-ol!"

"Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming, why do you have to yell?! I got it. Bye, Lis. Bye, Carina. Good luck…"

"T-o-o-l!"

Carina and Lis were left alone. Lis was sitting in front of her, he didn't change his stature. Didn't try to leave, oh no. Finally, he slowly lifted his dark head, hair parted right in the middle, and looked at her, and Carina thought that Arel has left her alone again.

Alone with Lis. She looked into his eyes and didn't recognize him, it's a different glance, completely different. A glance of a very mature person, of an old man. He really did get old, or maybe it's that dye made him look older, and the black hair. What does his face look like without this dye, are his cheeks and nose still covered in freckles, or maybe they're gone, just like the light from his eyes. So silly… And he was almost a king, a king of the "reds" in this world. But he lost everything. Became a slave. Because of her.

"Why didn't you tell them yourself?" – she finally asked the question that was taunting her all this time. Why didn't he tell Orel, why did he keep quiet, covering for her. And if she hasn't told them, would he just keep quiet?

"I was waiting for you to do it".

"And you weren't even scared".

"No. This doesn't change anything. You saw how Arel took it".

"I did".

She looked at him, right into his yellow, slightly slanting eyes, eyes so different from those of the "blacks", the strange eyes of another world's dweller. "I couldn't do it differently back then…"

He just grinned, opening his jacket and exposing his chest: "You see, not even a scar left. You might have known and even killed some 'red' half-blood Sigmer. But Atley Alis has never met you before."