Sylvia Day: Reflected In You

I swallowed, remembering my similar reaction to him. “Looking at you for the first time made me think about sex. Screaming, sheet-clawing sex.”

“I saw that.” His hands slid up either side of my spine. “And I knew you saw me , too. Saw what I am… what I have inside me. You saw right through me.”

And that was what had knocked me on my ass-literally. I’d looked into his eyes and realized how tightly reined he was, what a shadowed soul he had. I had seen power and hunger and control and demand. Somewhere inside me, I’d known he would take me over. It was a relief to know he’d felt the same upheaval over me.

Gideon’s hands hugged my shoulder blades and pulled me closer, until our foreheads touched. “No one’s ever seen before, Eva. You’re the only one.”

My throat tightened painfully. In so many ways, Gideon was a hard man, yet he could be so sweet to me. Almost childishly so, which I loved because it was pure and uncontrolled. If no one else bothered to look beyond his striking face and impressive bank account, they didn’t deserve to know him. “I had no idea. You were so… cool. I didn’t seem to affect you at all.”

“Cool?” he scoffed. “I was on fire for you. I’ve been fucked up ever since.”

“Gee. Thanks.”

“You made me need you,” he rasped. “Now I can’t stand the thought of two days without you.”

Holding his jaw in my hands, I kissed him tenderly, my lips coaxing and apologetic. “I love you, too,” I whispered against his beautiful mouth. “I can’t stand being away from you, either.”

His returning kiss was greedy, devouring, and yet the way he held me close to him was gentle and reverent. As if I were precious. When he pulled back, we were both breathing hard.

“I’m not even your type,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood before we went into work. Gideon’s preference for brunettes was well known and well documented.

I felt the Bentley pull over and to a halt. Angus got out of the car to give us privacy, leaving the engine and air-conditioning running. I looked out the window and saw the Crossfire beside us.

“About the type thing-” Gideon’s head fell back to rest against the seat. He took a deep breath. “Corinne was surprised by you. You weren’t what she’d expected.”

My jaw tightened at the mention of Gideon’s former fiancée. Even knowing that their relationship had been about friendship and loneliness for him, not love, didn’t stop the claws of envy from digging into me. Jealousy was one of my virulent flaws. “Because I’m blond?”

“Because… you don’t look like her.”

My breath caught. I hadn’t considered that Corinne had set the standard for him. Even Magdalene Perez-one of Gideon’s friends who wished she were more-had said she’d kept her dark hair long to emulate Corinne. But I hadn’t grasped the complexity of that observation. My God… if it was true, Corinne had tremendous power over Gideon, way more than I could bear. My heart rate quickened and my stomach churned. I hated her irrationally. Hated that she’d had even a piece of him. Hated every woman who’d known his touch… his lust… his amazing body.

I started sliding off him.

“Eva.” He stayed me by tightening his grip on my thighs. “I don’t know if she’s right.”

I looked down at where he held me, and the sight of my promise ring on the finger of his right hand-my brand of ownership-calmed me. So did the look of confusion on his face when I met his gaze. “You don’t?”

“If that’s what it was, it wasn’t conscious. I wasn’t looking for her in other women. I didn’t know I was looking for anything until I saw you.”

My hands slid down his lapels as relief filled me. Maybe he hadn’t been consciously looking for her, but even if he had, I couldn’t be more different from Corinne in appearance and temperament. I was unique to him; a woman apart from his others in every way. I wished that could be enough to kill my jealousy.

“Maybe it wasn’t a preference so much as a pattern.” I smoothed his frown line with a fingertip. “You should ask Dr. Petersen when we see him tonight. I wish I had more answers after all my years of therapy, but I don’t. There’s a lot that’s inexplicable between us, isn’t there? I still have no idea what you see in me that’s hooked you.”

“It’s what you see in me , angel,” he said quietly, his features softening. “That you can know what I have in me and still want me as much as I want you. I go to sleep every night afraid I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. Or that I scared you away… that I dreamed you-”

“No. Gideon.” Jesus. He broke my heart every day. Shattered me.

“I know I don’t tell you how I feel about you in the same way you tell me, but you have me. You know that.”

“Yes, I know you love me, Gideon.” Insanely. Outrageously. Obsessively. Just like my feelings for him.

“I’m caught up with you, Eva.” With his head tilted back, Gideon pulled me down for the sweetest of kisses, his firm lips moving gently beneath mine. “I’d kill for you,” he whispered, “give up everything I own for you… but I won’t give you up. Two days is my limit. Don’t ask for more than that; I can’t give it to you.”

I didn’t take his words lightly. His wealth insulated him, gave him the power and control that had been stolen from him at some point in his life. He’d suffered brutality and violation, just as I had. That he would consider it worthwhile to lose his peace of mind just to keep me meant more than the words I love you .

“I just need the two days, ace, and I’ll make them worth your while.”

The starkness of his gaze bled away, replaced by sexual heat. “Oh? Planning on pacifying me with sex, angel?”

“Yes,” I admitted shamelessly. “Lots of it. After all, the tactic seems to work well for you.”

His mouth curved, but his gaze had a sharpness that quickened my breath. The dark look he gave me reminded me-as if I could forget-that Gideon wasn’t a man who could be managed or tamed.

“Ah, Eva,” he purred, sprawled against the seat with the predatory insouciance of a sleek panther who’d neatly trapped a mouse in his den.

A delicious shiver moved through me. When it came to Gideon, I was more than willing to be devoured.

Just before I exited the elevator into the vestibule of Waters Field & Leaman, the advertising firm I worked for on the twentieth floor, Gideon whispered in my ear, “Think about me all day.”

I squeezed his hand surreptitiously in the crowded car. “Always do.”

He continued the ride up to the top floor, which housed the headquarters of Cross Industries. The Crossfire was his, one of many properties he owned throughout the city, including the apartment complex I lived in.

I tried not to pay attention to that. My mom was a career trophy wife. She’d given up my father’s love for an affluent lifestyle, which I couldn’t relate to at all. I’d prefer love over wealth any day, but I suppose that was easy for me to say because I had money-a sizable investment portfolio-of my own. Not that I ever touched it. I wouldn’t. I’d paid too high a price and couldn’t imagine anything worth the cost.

Megumi, the receptionist, buzzed me through the glass security door and greeted me with a big smile. She was a pretty woman, young like me, with a stylish bob of glossy black hair framing stunning Asian features.

“Hey,” I said, stopping by her desk. “Got any plans for lunch?”

“I do now.”

“Awesome.” My grin was wide and genuine. As much as I loved Cary and enjoyed spending time with him, I needed girlfriends, too. Cary had already started building a network of acquaintances and friends in our adopted city, but I’d been sucked into the Gideon vortex almost from the outset. As much as I’d prefer to spend every moment with him, I knew it wasn’t healthy. Female friends would give it to me straight when I needed it, and I was going to have to cultivate those friendships if I wanted them.