Laurann Dohner: Brawn

Brawn slowly stalked toward the couch, sank to his knees on the floor before her and searched her eyes. She wasn’t crying anymore but the look of sadness he found there nearly tore his heart from his chest.

“I understand why you cry, Becca.”

“You didn’t hurt me in bed. I didn’t want you thinking you had. I’m sorry I unloaded my past on you but you don’t seem to understand why we can’t be together.”

“When I met you, I was very attracted to you.”

That statement surprised her and her eyes widened.

“I admitted as much when you were presenting your ass to me in the bedroom while you removed the sheets from the bed. Do you want to know what I wanted to do?” He didn’t wait for her response. “I wanted to fall to my knees behind you and touch you, Becca. I wanted to smell you, taste you and bury my dick deep inside you. I wanted to hear you make noises of pleasure until you cried out my name.”

“But I’m human.”

“I’ve never wanted a human before but I wanted you, Becca. It shocked me and it made me angry.”

She bit her lip. “Why?”

“I never understood why a few of my kind were attracted to yours and would take a human as a mate. All I have known are our females, Becca. Wasn’t it a little daunting for you to be attracted to me?”

“I was a little surprised but you’re very good-looking. It didn’t matter to me that we’re different.”

“When we were kidnapped you got a taste of what I’ve been subjected to in the past. Imprisoned, forced to undergo testing and being under the control of others and the constant fear of our usefulness being over. They killed us sometimes. You were forced to touch me to get those semen samples. I felt guilty for enjoying it but I did. My mind has become as twisted as my captors in that regard. I thought you’d be better off without me yet I wanted you, Becca. I missed you when we were freed and I wanted you back in my life. I feared you might hate me for what you’d endured.”

Becca stared into his eyes and hoped the sincerity she saw was real and not just wishful thinking on her part. “I could never hate you for what happened to us. You kept me going, comforted me, but you have to admit we wouldn’t have gotten into this situation if you’d been given a choice.” She glanced down at her rounded belly before holding his gaze. “It was comfort sex.”

“I loved touching you. That’s why I felt guilty. You are so soft and so beautiful, Becca. I wanted you in the worst way and was glad to be locked inside a cage with you. I was almost grateful because I could touch you. I never thought being with a human female would be good and it wasn’t, Becca. It was so much better than good that it is an insult to use such a weak word. You felt right to me, beautiful. Your touch and your scent. Your body around mine. You were perfect to me. Do you understand? The look in your eyes, the taste of your mouth and the feel of you inside where I didn’t want to leave has driven me crazy daily since we were freed.”

“That’s not true. You would have called me if you wanted to see me again. You didn’t.”

“I was ordered not to and had to agree that it might only cause you pain. I believed you’d come after me if you wanted to see me. I think like a Species because I am one. Our women are very blunt, aggressive and tell us what they want. I made a mistake and should have come after you.”

She was speechless, wanted to believe him and finally found her voice. “If it wasn’t for this baby we would never have seen each other again. You would have gotten on with your life and forgotten all about me. A baby isn’t a reason to start a relationship, Brawn. I won’t be with you just because I got knocked up.”

“I was glad when I learned of the child.” He took a deep breath and calmed down. “That makes me an asshole, doesn’t it? I am glad that my seed took inside you. When they told me that the doctors would make sure you had not gotten impregnated with medicines, I wanted to roar my rage because if my seed took I knew I could have you again and again because I would have a right to you.” His eyes narrowed and his nose flared. “I am a bastard and an asshole but damn it, Becca, never think I will hate you or feel trapped by you having this baby. You should feel trapped because I am not letting you go. You might be horror-filled to have my baby but I am very well pleased by it. Trisha says I need patience but what I need is for you to realize you are my mate and that you belong to me. You need to stop fighting it because it drives me insane.”

“I’m not the kind of mate who will make you happy.”

He growled at her. “Why do you think that?”

“I’m forever pissing you off. You are growling at me again and showing teeth, first off. Second off, in the bedroom, while we were having sex, you had to hold back and you obviously didn’t want to. Admit it, Brawn. Wouldn’t you have loved not to have to be careful? Wouldn’t it have felt better for you if you could have done all the things you knew would hurt me?”

His eyes locked with hers. “You were not a virgin. You have been with another male, Becca. You were married. Your husband touched you. Is my touching you the same as it was with him?”

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes locked with his. “There’s no comparison. It’s completely different.”

He nodded. “Then you should understand that what I experience with you has no comparison to what I knew before. It is more with you. Stronger. The best, Becca. I have never felt the way I feel with you. You bring out so much inside me and you are very wrong if you think you do not please me when we are touching. You please me more than I’ve ever been.” He cupped her face, his gaze holding hers. “You make me roar, beautiful. I don’t do that for any female except you. All that control I must find not to hurt you actually makes our shared sex feel much better at the end when I release that control before I seed you.”

“I want to believe you.”

“I would not lie. After we were found and we were set free from the cages I wanted to hit that Trey for hugging you. I don’t like any male touching you. I wanted to pick you up and carry you out of there and take you home with me so I could keep you. I knew I couldn’t. You do not like bossy men. I heard this while you were talking to Trey in your kitchen. I am dominating, Becca.”

She suddenly laughed. “Really? I’m shocked!”

He smiled. “Sarcasm. I know what this is.”

The doorbell rang and Brawn moved. “I will get your food.”

He opened the door and Breeze stood there with the cart. She stared at him with a grim expression. “Brawn. I was on kitchen duty. Here is her food.”

Becca wanted to flinch. This was the woman he’d had a date with the day Becca had arrived at Reservation. Brawn took the cart and pulled it into the room. The woman glanced at Becca from the door, took a deep breath and walked inside the room. She closed the door behind her.

Brawn spun, a growl tearing from his lips. The woman backed up against the door and her eyes flew to Becca.

“I wanted to talk to you. Could you please tell Brawn to allow it before he tears out my throat for daring to speak to you? It’s important.”

Brawn took a threatening step toward the woman but Becca reacted. “Brawn! Stop.”

He froze and swung his head to Becca, a furious look on his face. “I told her not to come here or ever speak to you. You got upset with me for having a date with her when you arrived. It was innocent but you believe I planned to share sex with her. I didn’t.”

Becca studied Breeze. “Hi, Breeze. What did you want to tell me?”

Breeze looked grim. “You remember my name.”

“That whole day kind of stuck in my mind.”