Kristen Ashley - Knight

And when it hit me, it hit me sweet.

I bit my smiling lip, got out and Kurt was there.

“Hey, honey,” I greeted, moving out of the door he moved toward to close.

“Yo,” he grunted.

I again bit my smiling lip.

Kurt. Seriously. He said practically nothing. Still, I found him hilariously funny.

He put a hand light on the small of my back and guided me to the backdoor.

We walked through and I headed to the door of the stairs leading to Knight’s office. I felt Kurt’s presence leave without a word. As was Kurt’s way, the job was done, he moved on. He liked me, this I knew because Knight told me not because Kurt showed me.

Hernando, the security guy at Knight’s door, smiled at me as he opened it.

“Hey, Anya.”

“Hey, Hern,” I muttered, rolled up on my toes and touched my lips to his cheek. I rolled back and caught his eye. “Is Knight up there?”

“Yup.”

Goodie.

I grinned at Hern, walked through the door and started up the steps.

The club sounds muted as the door closed behind me and my happy mood suddenly slid clean out of me.

Knight was up there. His ring was on my finger. The wide, brushed gold band I’d gone out that day to buy him was in my bag.

And I had to tell him my secret. Time was sliding by. He’d done something beautiful for me and would expect me to snap out of the quiet, reflective mood I’d been in and if I didn’t, he’d wonder. Then he’d get impatient when I didn’t share.

I needed to share.

I stood outside his door with my hand on the knob, my eyes to my hand.

I had to do this now.

Face his anger, discuss and, God, God, maybe yield.

I turned the knob and walked in.

He was standing at his window wearing a dark suit and a wine red shirt, both looked great on him as usual, and the instant I walked in, his eyes cut to me.

“Gotta do somethin’ about that bitch.”

Damn.

God, Sandrine .

I heard the door close behind me as I took a few steps in and stopped.

“What’s she doing now?” I asked.

“Pissin’ me off.”

Oh boy.

“Knight –”

“Have words with her, Anya.”

I drew in breath and nodded.

“When you go down, I’ll call Kurt. You, Viv and Kurt get her ass in a taxi. It takes her home and she goes out again, that’s on her. She comes back here, babe, she drinks easy and she doesn’t piss me off. She’s got one more shot. Then she’s not in my club again.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

He studied me.

“Been two hours, babe,” he declared, this being the amount of time we’d been apart and I knew he was not happy I was standing across the room and not close, giving him a kiss.

“Do you remember the flu I had a few of months ago?” I blurted.

His head jerked and his eyes narrowed. I understood this. What I’d blurted made no sense. Also, he wanted me close and he wanted my kiss. I never denied this. Ever. Because I wanted both too. And he also very rarely had to ask for it since I very usually just gave it to him.

“What?” he asked.

“Remember that flu that knocked me for a loop a few of months ago? You know, when I was in bed for forever and –?”

“I remember.”

I pressed my lips together and rolled them.

“Anya –”

“I was so sick, I missed taking my birth control pills,” I whispered.

His body went visibly solid.

Oh boy.

Okay, all right.

Right.

“I told you,” I kept whispering. “And we used condoms for a while. One, um… must have broken or, uh… something…”

I trailed off.

Knight didn’t move, his eyes burning into me, his face impassive.

Not a good sign.

I kept whispering, my eyes glued to him. “I’m pregnant.”

He moved not a muscle and said not a word and he did this for a long time.

Even I could barely hear my voice when I said quietly, “I want to keep it, Knight. And I want that badly.”

Knight gave me nothing.

I wanted to close my eyes, cry, beg.

I wanted this baby. His baby. I wasn’t expecting it. We’d never discussed children.

But I wanted it.

Like I said…

Badly .

“I think I’ve known for a while,” I shared quietly and carefully. “But I took a home pregnancy test um… a bit ago. Then to confirm I went to the doctor Monday. I’m ten weeks.”

Knight didn’t move.

“Honey.” My voice was shaking.

That was when he moved but not to me. Nor did he say anything. He lifted his hand, shoved it inside his jacket and pulled out his phone, all the while his eyes on me.

My heart started beating as my stomach clenched. I didn’t know what this meant but it terrified me.

His eyes dropped to his phone as he hit buttons but they came back and pinned me to the spot when he put the phone to his ear.

I stood still, my eyes held captive by his and I waited.

“Hey, yeah, Knight,” he said into the phone and I tried not to hyperventilate. “Got news. Anya’s pregnant. Ten weeks.”

I blinked and when I was done, his eyes were still on me.

“Fuck, Mom, I know it’s great fuckin’ news but stop screamin’.” Pause then, “Fuck, give the phone to Dad.”

My eyes filled with tears and there was no way I could control them. They spilled right over.

He didn’t take his phone from his ear when he ordered low and slow, “Babe, get… over… here. ”

Tossing my clutch across the room to the couch, I flew to him, my body colliding with his, my arms wrapping around tight and his arm did the same, holding me close.

I felt his lips at the top of my hair and then, “Dad? Yeah. Yeah, she isn’t lyin’. Anya’s carrying my baby. Ten weeks.” Pause then, “No. Unexpected. She got sick a while back, flu, missed some pills.” Pause then on a squeeze of his arm in a gentle, soft voice, “No, Dad. It’s good. We’re happy.”

“ It’s good.”

“ We’re happy.”

He talked more but I didn’t hear much mainly because my body was bucking against his due to my sobbing.

Then he said his good-byes, shifted me so he could pry me away from his frame and put his phone back in his pocket then both his arms wound tight around me.

“Babe, eyes,” he ordered gently and I tipped back my head. His eyes moved over my face then caught mine. “You didn’t want a ring. You wanted my baby,” he whispered.

“Yes,” I whispered back.

“Mom’s fuckin’ beside herself,” he shared something I guessed.

I’d met his parents, three times.

They’d been to Denver twice. The second time for a nice visit. The first time Carl came out with Knight’s Mom to deal with Nick.

Nick now lived in Hawaii with Carl riding his ass. He was clean of blow, Carl’s first order of business. But he was still “dicking around” (Knight’s words). Though, “At least it gives Dad somethin’ to do. He doesn’t golf. He doesn’t surf. He doesn’t garden. He cracks heads. He was goin’ crazy. Now he’s got a head to crack,” (also Knight’s words).

We’d also gone out to see them. When we did, we saw Nick. To me, he’d changed. He was far less of an asshole and he’d actually found a quiet moment just him and me to apologize and, I thought, do it sincerely. Knight warned me not to be fooled. He explained Nick could get contrite then Nick could turn back into an asshole. Luckily, while we were there, he didn’t slide back into the asshole.

And, it should be noted that although Nick took the time to apologize to me, he didn't take the time to apologize to his brother. Something I didn’t like all that much. Something Knight took in stride. Therefore something that clearly had happened before, repeatedly, this an assumption I’d made that Knight had confirmed when I asked him.