Kristen Ashley: Knight

Then he pulled out what was inside as I held my breath, stayed completely still and watched as his hand came back, lifted mine from his chest and somehow he managed to position and slide the ring on my finger.

It was a band, thick gold at top and bottom, the middle inlaid all around with sparkling, perfect, not small by a long shot diamonds.

I stared.

His fingers curled around my hand then brought it back to his chest and pressed it flat.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

His arm that never left my back got super tight.

“Not what you’re thinkin’,” he said gently. “You know how I feel about that shit.”

I blinked, rapidly, but my eyelids were the only thing that moved.

I knew. I did. He explained it to me ages ago.

We’d now been together, starting from when we met, closing on two years. We met in February. It was November the year following. After I (officially) moved in that August, he gave us a couple of months then, in bed, the first time we cuddled like this after he made love to me, he explained he was not only not into labels but also not into traditional rituals. This included things like Thanksgiving and Christmas.

It also included things like marriage.

He told me he was committed to me but he’d never marry me. I was his, he was mine, we were together and we always would be but “the government knows who I’m fuckin’, everybody else can stay outta my fuckin’ business.”

I didn’t agree with this. I was Catholic though I didn’t attend church very often (as in never since my parents died, my religious education something else my aunt never saw to). Still, I did when they were alive and I kept that part of them with me. I was lax with it in a variety of ways but it didn’t mean it wasn’t important.

I was also a girl who wanted her day.

We discussed it and he didn’t make me yield. We went to Vivica and Rhashan’s for Thanksgiving dinner though Knight left to go to work. He let me have a Christmas tree but no Christmas music, cookies or other decorations. He did give me a gift, only one, but since it was a pair of ruby and diamond earrings that were exquisite, I didn’t quibble. But he didn’t stuff a stocking for me and made it clear he did not want me to give him one so I didn’t. We spent time together that day, I made a nice dinner, we made love, we cuddled and watched movies but we did none of the traditional things that day except exchange presents (I got him more than one, obviously, since it was my holiday and I liked to spoil my man as much as he liked to spoil me).

But this was as far as Knight was prepared to give in.

Marriage was not going to happen.

Although this was a disappointment, I knew it wasn’t him preserving an out.

This was it, him and me. He loved me. He was committed to me. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and intended to do it.

I felt the same.

So I gave in. It wasn’t a hardship. I had Knight and, truthfully, I didn’t need a piece of paper.

So, right then, I didn’t get the ring.

Knight, as ever, explained.

On an arm squeeze and another one at my hand where he’d just slid what had to be a crazy expensive ring, he whispered, “You’ve been quiet.”

Shit, I had. Damn.

“And I gave you that, baby, lettin’ you work it out. I waited for you to talk to me. You didn’t. But I know, Rhashan puttin’ his ring on Viv’s finger and her bein’ all about her wedding plans, you’re seein’ what you’re not getting.”

He was wrong. I wasn’t quiet because of that. I was quiet because of something else. I was over the moon that Rhashan asked Viv to marry him three months ago.

Knight kept talking.

“So, I gotta give you something. It’s for you and for me. For me bein’, that ring, no one will mistake it, you’re mine. Wherever you go, with me or without me, they’ll see. It makes that statement and I like that. For you, you get a little of what you want. With this,” his thumb moved over the gold and diamonds now at the base of my left ring finger, “I’ll give you a party. You wanna buy a beautiful dress, do it. You want it to be ivory, buy it. Sit down dinner, champagne, celebration, whoever you wanna invite. But I’m not cutting cake. No dancing. No fuckin’ speeches. Just a celebration. You wanna have an anniversary, I’ll spoil you, give you a gift that shows you what you mean to me, take you out to dinner and we’ll do it every year on the night we met.”

Oh. Wow. That wasn’t everything but it was unbelievably sweet.

And I’d take it. Definitely.

He wasn’t done.

“It means somethin’ to you, you get it for me, I’ll wear your symbol. Whatever you want. Including a band on my finger so everyone can see I’m yours.”

“I want that,” I whispered immediately, his arm got tight and his body shook with a short chuckle.

His voice shook with it too when he muttered, “How did I know that?”

I stared at his hand around mine and my beautiful ring.

Then I told him, “I want the party too.”

He pulled me up, I lifted my head and his eyes came to mine but he didn’t move his hand pressing mine against the solid heat of his chest.

Then he said gently, “Plan it. Whatever you want, flowers, food. Wherever you want, I’ll give it to you. No big dress that looks like a cake. This is just a party but it’s a party that celebrates you and me.”

I stared into his vivid, blue eyes twisting my hand at his chest so my fingers curled around his.

Then I whispered, “Okay, Knight.”

He stared into my eyes that were getting wet.

“You know I don’t like tears, baby,” he whispered.

I sucked in a breath through my nose and held his hand tightly. He watched me do this and waited until I got control.

When I did, he muttered, “Good.” Then, “You like the ring?”

“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen outside of you.”

His eyes flashed as his head gave a short jerk.

Then he whispered, “Fuck me.”

I knew what that meant and felt my lips quirk.

Then I whispered back, “Thank you.”

His arm slid up my back and got tight in a way my face had to move forward even as his hand crushed mine in his.

“I love you, Anya,” he growled fiercely, so low, deep and rumbling I felt it through my body. “You know that, babe.”

“I do, honey,” I whispered, clutching his hand and I felt my nose sting again.

“No tears,” he ordered.

I pressed my lips together, took another breath in through my nose and nodded.

His arm and hand relaxed.

“Now, sleep.”

I nodded again.

He turned out the light and settled us, Knight on his back, me pressed to his side, his hand still holding mine against his chest.

Okay, that was beautiful.

Okay, that was amazing.

Okay, I loved this man.

But I had a secret. A secret I was worried would not please him. A secret that pleased me greatly but I was worried it would make him angry.

And he knew I had a secret. He sensed it. He’d guessed at what was bothering me.

But he was very, very wrong.

And after he gave that to me, with all that he’d given me, I had to find a way to share my secret.

I just didn’t know how.

The thin, high heels of my ludicrously expensive sandals clicked on the floors of our apartment as I moved through the L-shaped hall toward the living room-kitchen area.

I had my phone to my ear.

“She’s working my last nerve,” Vivica declared. “Are you fuckin’ coming?”

After a brief respite, Sandrine went on the prowl again. Then we had another brief respite after she hooked herself a handsome, built, wealthy jerk. They got engaged within a month and married two months later in an extravaganza that she threw together in a frightening display of “I’m a princess, all bow to me” that cost her father a fortune and, nearly, Vivica’s friendship. Against Knight’s advice, I forged in and held my posse together by the skin of our teeth. But her behavior definitely lost her any of the dregs of what was left of the respect she had from Knight and Rhashan. They both put up with her for Viv and me and that was as far as it went.