Susan Pfeffer - This World We Live In

I had only seconds to decide. Do I go back home, warn Mom and Syl, and ride out the tornado in the cellar with them, or do I go to Dad’s, warn Lisa and Charlie, and do the one thing Alex had asked of me?

I turned away from home, rode to Dad’s, jumped off my bike, and pounded frantically on their back door.

Charlie opened it.

“Tornado!” I screamed. “Go to the cellar!”

I didn’t stay in the kitchen long enough to make sure he understood, that he warned Lisa and led her and the baby to safety. I trusted him to do that, as Alex trusted me.

Instead I ran to the parlor and looked frantically for the missal. I went through a pile of textbooks, but it wasn’t there. I felt all the furniture, to see if it was stuffed under cushions, but it didn’t seem to be. I got on the floor, searching under the chairs and sofas. I have no idea how long I looked, maybe a minute, maybe more. But then I caught a glimpse of something in his neatly folded pile of clothes. I flung the clothes until I found the missal.

I raced back toward the kitchen, but I could tell from the terrifying sound, the way the house was beginning to shake, that there wasn’t enough time to get to the cellar. Instead I ran into the little storage closet under the stairwell, clutching the missal tightly, as though it could keep me from harm.

When we were kids, we were forbidden to go in that closet. It was the perfect size to hide in, and we’d always been tempted. But now I was grown up, and the closet was too small for me to stand. I curled up in a ball, making myself as small as possible, so the tornado couldn’t find me.

All around me I could sense the house collapsing, and I felt like a sparrow being sucked into an airplane engine. The sound was ungodly. But the stairwell held, and the tornado passed, and I was still alive.

I pushed against the stairwell door, but it wouldn’t open. I pushed harder, shoving my shoulder against it, but nothing happened. I twisted my torso so my entire chest faced the door, and I rammed my body into the door, pushing, pushing, pushing, but the door stayed shut. There was too much debris piled against it.

I was stuck in the closet, in a tiny space under the staircase. I’d survived the tornado, but now I was buried alive. If no one found me, I’d suffocate.

“Help!” I screamed. “Help!”

“Miranda? Where are you? Are you all right?”

The voice was muffled, as though it was a long way away. Then I realized it was Charlie, calling to me from the cellar.

“I’m in the stairwell closet,” I yelled. “I can’t get the door open. Are you all right? Lisa? The baby?”

“We’re fine,” Charlie shouted. “Keep still, Miranda. Don’t talk anymore. I’ll be there in a minute.”

I shook from relief. Charlie would save me. Death would be cheated, one more time.

But Charlie didn’t come. I heard thuds from the cellar and a noise I couldn’t identify, and then Lisa screamed.

I knew yelling would use up needed air, but I couldn’t help myself. “What happened?” I shouted. “Lisa?”

Lisa didn’t answer. She just screamed, “No! Charlie, no!”

“Charlie!” I shouted. “Charlie, answer me!”

But there was no answer, just the sound of Lisa and Gabriel wailing as though they’d lost their best friend.

I was too stunned to cry. Something had happened. I couldn’t be sure what, but whatever it was, Charlie hadn’t been able to get the cellar door open. He and Lisa and Gabriel were as trapped as I was. They had more room, so they wouldn’t suffocate, but unless someone came and got us out, they would die, just as I would, only their deaths would take longer.

Assuming Charlie hadn’t already died.

It was then, only then, that I realized everybody might have died. I hadn’t warned Mom or Syl. Mom could have been in the sunroom, Syl in her bedroom, when the tornado struck. Matt and Dad were outside chopping wood. And there was no way of knowing where Jon and Julie were, if Alex had gotten to them in time, and if it would have made any difference if he had.

Before I’d shook from relief. Now my body spasmed in terror and grief.

“Lisa! Lisa, are you all right?”

“Daddy!” I screamed. “Daddy, help me!”

“Miranda?” Dad called. “I can hear you, but I don’t know where you are.”

“In the stairwell closet,” I said. “Daddy, get me out. Lisa and Charlie are in the cellar. Something happened to Charlie.”

“Miranda, it’ll be all right,” Dad said. “I’m in the hallway. There’s a pile of rubble blocking the door. I’ll get Matt. We’ll dig you out. Lisa, can you hear me?”

“Hal!” Lisa yelled. “Hal! It’s Charlie. I think he’s dead!”

“Lisa, I can’t get to you,” Dad said. “There’s too much debris. I’m going to get Matt and we’ll dig Miranda out first, and then we’ll get you. All right, darling? Is Gabriel all right?”

“Please.” Lisa sobbed. “Get us out, Hal, please.”

“We will, darling,” Dad said. “You’ll be out before you know it. But first we’ll get Miranda so she can help us. Miranda, relax if you can. You’ll be out in no time.”

“Is Mom all right?” I cried. “Daddy?”

“She’s fine,” Dad said. “So’s Syl. We’ll be back in a minute. Hold on, Miranda. Just a few more minutes.”

I hadn’t heard him come in, because of Lisa and Gabriel crying. But I could hear him leave, and the sound of his moving away from me left me even more shaken.

I told myself to calm down. Dad and Matt would get me out and I’d be fine. Mom and Syl had survived. Lisa might be wrong about Charlie. Alex and Jon and Julie had to be all right. They just had to be. We all did. We’d survived worse, I told myself. We’d get through this together.

I realized then how tightly I was grasping Alex’s missal, and I thought, I can’t let Matt see this. If Matt knew I’d gone for the missal instead of warning Mom and Syl, he would never forgive me.

I knew there could only be one reason why Alex had told me to get it. The passes to the safe town had to be there.

I was in complete darkness, and I didn’t have one of my flashlight pens with me. I held the missal upside down, and an envelope fell out.

I felt it. There were certainly papers in it, and something else, something like tiny buttons.

They were pills, I realized. The sleeping pills Alex had told me about. Pills to allow Julie to sleep through her death.

I slid the envelope under my shirt and tucked the missal into the corner of the closet. Matt would never know. I’d give the envelope to Alex, and we’d go off together just as we’d planned. Dad and Lisa and the baby were fine. Julie would be secure in the safe town, and when she was, Alex could throw the pills away. He and I would make our life together. We’d have our tomorrows.

I could hear them then, Dad and Matt and Syl. When I heard Syl’s voice, I knew Mom really was all right and I would be also.

“There’s a lot of debris here,” Dad said. “Miranda, we’ll get you out, but it’s going to take a few minutes. Just let us know you’re okay, and then don’t worry about it.”

“I’m fine, Dad,” I said, crying and laughing. “Take your time.”

Dad made a sound I decided was laughter. I listened as he, Matt, and Syl worked together, clearing a pathway to the door. In the background I could hear Lisa crying and Dad calling out to her, telling her everything would be all right.

I felt the envelope against my chest. I told myself Alex was alive, that I’d give him the envelope, and if he had ever needed proof of my love, he never would again.

I don’t know how long it took before I could hear Dad pull the door open. A few minutes maybe, or forever. I felt him before I could see him. Dark as it was in the hallway, my eyes still had to adjust to the dim light. But it didn’t matter. Dad grasped me and pulled me out.