Robert Asprin - M.Y.T.H.-Interpretations - The Worlds of Robert Asprin

Aahz grinned, fearsomely.

“C’mon. Let’s let him off the hook.” He took a deep breath and stepped through the mirror.

“Hey, what’s all this?” Aahz asked, very casually. “You trying to raise the roof?” He lifted a hand. In the Dreamland the gesture would have sent the tent flying. In this case, it was merely a dramatic flourish. Aahz looked disappointed for less than a second before recovering his composure. I experienced the loss he must have felt, and I was upset on his behalf, but relieved to have gotten him home. He didn’t belong in the world of dreams. Some day we’d find a way to undo Garkin’s spell.

“Aahz!” Tananda squealed, throwing herself into his arms. “You’ve been gone for days! We were worried about you.”

“You, too, big-timer,” Massha said, putting a meaty arm around me and squeezing just as hard. The embrace was a lot more thorough coming from her.

“Thanks,” I gasped out.

“Gleep!” my pet exclaimed, wiggling through behind us. The trip through the mirror restored him to dragon-shape. In his joy he slimed all of us, including the trembling Bezel, who was being prevented from decamping by the firm grip Nunzio had on the back of his neck.

“Honest, I swear, Aahz,” Bezel stammered. “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything.”

“Altabarak across the way let the dragon loose, Boss,” Guido said, peering at me from under his fedora brim.

“Okay, Bezel,” I said, nodding to my bodyguard. If he was positive I was positive. “I believe you. No hard feelings. Ready to go get a drink, partner? I said. “Everyone want to join me for a strawberry milkshake?”

“Now you’re talking,” Aahz said, rubbing his hands together. “A guy can have too much dream food.” Bezel tottered after us toward the door flap.

“I don’t suppose, honored persons,” the Deveel said hopefully, the pale pink coloring slightly as he dared to bring business back to usual, “that you would like to purchase the mirror. Seeing as you have already used it once?”

“What?” I demanded, turning on my heel.

“They ought to get a discount,” Massha said.

“Throw him through it,” Guido advised. Bezel paled to shell-pink and almost passed out.

“Smash the mirror,” Aahz barked, showing every tooth. Then he paused. “No. On second thought, buy it. A guy can dream a little, can’t he?”

He stalked out of the tent. My friends looked puzzled. I smiled at Bezel and reached for my belt pouch.

I focused on the candle’s flame. Forcing myself to remain relaxed, I reached out and gently wrapped my mind around it.

The flame didn’t flicker. If anything, it seemed to steady and grow.

Moving slowly, extended a finger, pointing casually at the object of my attention. Then, as I released a quick burst of mental energy, I made a small flicking motion with my hand to speed the spell along it’s way.

There was a tiny burst of power, and the flame flared and went out.

Neat!

I leaned back in my chair and treated myself to a bit of smug self congratulations.

“Have you got a minute, Skeeve?”

I glanced toward the doorway. It was my curvaceous assistant. At least, the theory was that she was my assistant. Since she tagged along when I retired from M.Y.T.H. Inc., however, she had taken over not only running the household and the business side of things, but also my life in general. Some assistant.

“Bunny!” I said with a smile. “Just the person I wanted to see. Com’on in. There’s something I want to show you.”

With a casual wave of my hand, I relit the candle.

“So?” Bunny said, unimpressed. “I’ve seen you light a candle before. If I remember right, it was one of the first spells you learned.”

“Not that.” I said. “Watch this!”

I wrapped my mind around the flame, pointed my finger, and released the spell again.

The candle exploded, scattering droplets of hot wax across the table and onto the wall behind it.

“I see.” Bunny said, drily. “You’ve learned a new way to make a mess. Some day you’ll learn a spell that helps with cleaning up. Then I’ll be impressed.”

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” I protested. “I did it perfectly just before you came in.”

“What is it, anyway?” she said.

“Oh, it’s a new spell that was in my latest correspondence lesson for the Magikal Institute of Perv.” I said. “It’s a magikal way to extinguish a flame. It didn’t seem very difficult, so I’ve been puttering around with it as a break when I’m working on the other lessons.”

“A magikal way to extinguish a flame.” she repeated slowly. “Is it really a vast improvement on simply blowing the candle out?”

“It’s an exercise.” I said, defensively. “Besides, if I get good enough at it…I don’t know, maybe I could put out a whole burning building.”

“Hmpf.” she said, and I realized I was losing an argument when we weren’t even arguing.

“Anyway, what was it you wanted?”

It’s an old ploy. When in doubt or in trouble, change the subject. Sometimes it works.

“I just wanted to say that I think you should take a look at Buttercup.”

“Buttercup? What’s he done now?”

Buttercup was a war unicorn I sort of inherited early in my career. While he isn’t as inclined to get into mischief or break things as Gleep, my dragon, that still leaves him a lot of room for minor disasters.

“Nothing I know of.” Bunny said. “He just doesn’t seem as perky as he usually is. I’m wondering if he’s coming down with something.”

“Maybe he’s just getting old.” I realized that I know even less about the longevity of unicorns than I did about their ailments. “I’ll take a look at him.”

We were currently based in what used to be an old inn. Actually, I had a bit of my history tied up in the inn even before my current relocation. When I first teamed with Aahz, this very inn was the headquarters for our adversary of the moment, one Isstvan. After successfully vanquishing him and sending him off to roam the dimensions, Aahz and I used it as our own base until our subsequent move to Posssletum, and eventually to the Bazaar at Deva. It seemed only natural to return to it when I retired and was looking for a quiet place to pursue my studies.

Buttercup shared the stable area of the inn with Gleep, though more often or not they only used it to sleep. The rest of the time they roamed the grounds playing with each other and getting into the aforementioned mischief. To say the least, this insured that our neighbors and folks from the nearby village gave the place wide berth as a general rule.

I wasn’t wild about running him down if they were out terrorizing the countryside, as they were both fleeter of foot and in better condition than I was. Fortunately he was in residence when I reached the stables.

“Hey, Buttercup! How’s it going?”

The unicorn raised his head and glanced at me, then let it sag once more.

Bunny was right. Buttercup did seem very droopy, not at all his normal manner. What was more, his coat seemed dull and dry.

“Are you okay, fella? What’s wrong?”

That inquiry didn’t even earn me a second glance.

Normally, I’d be at a loss for what to do. This time around, however, I had an idea. Glancing out the stable door to be sure Bunny wasn’t within hearing, I turned to Gleep who was watching the proceedings with interest.

“Gleep? Do you know what’s wrong with Buttercup?”

I had discovered that my dragon could actually talk, though only in halting sentences. At his request, I had withheld that particular bit of information from my colleagues.