Artyom Dereschuk - Hate the Sin

Puppy Slayer and Tsetse were circling around the base in silence—not counting the noise coming from the base itself. The younger boy was constantly turning his head, trying to see the enemy coming, and each uproar from the General’s little motivational party was making the boy anxious that he would miss the sound of the approaching enemy.

The thought that some of those creatures could be as close as a few steps away from him was making the boy lose his mind. Only the presence of the older and much more experienced Tsetse was calming him. The captain’s confidence, and his way of showing that he knew what he was doing, was having a soothing effect on him.

The boy heard the General’s speech and the effect it had on the troops, and it started brewing a conflict inside of him. On one hand, he was relieved that there was hope to get rid of the devils. He wasn’t sure if the General could pull it off, but he wanted to believe him, to rely on him.

On the other hand, the prospect of descending into the Underworld, the very place that had spawned those devils, was making him quake in his boots. How could that be a good idea? Surely they would be outnumbered a thousand-to-one there, their bodies torn to shreds and their souls devoured for the next thousand years.

Perhaps he would be chosen to guard the base, along with the rest of the boys? And perhaps, the General and the brigade would vanish forever, never to return?

“Do you want to run away?” Tsetse suddenly asked Puppy Slayer. The boy was caught off guard by that question, and looked away. How could he know? the younger boy frantically thought. Can he read thoughts? Am I not safe even inside my own mind?

“I… I didn’t even think about it…” the boy muttered under his breath, trying not to look Tsetse in the eye.

“If you want to run away, you better do it tonight,” Tsetse said, startling the boy. He always expected Tsetse to be against breaking the rules. Was he testing him?

“I don’t want to—”

“Tomorrow it’s going to be too late. So take my word for it, tonight is your last chance,” the captain interrupted him.

Puppy Slayer gathered up courage and looked at the older boy. His face was as expressionless as ever, but somehow Puppy Slayer could tell that he was serious. That he wasn’t taunting him.

Was it even in Tsetse’s character to taunt someone? Could he even be not serious?

“Why are you suggesting that?” Puppy Slayer asked the question that was bothering him at that moment. “Shouldn’t you be looking after us?”

“I am looking after all of you.” Tsetse nodded. “Which is exactly why I am suggesting it. But keep this in mind: if you escape, you are on your own. We will not be there to help you. So think well before making your decision.”

His words stung Puppy Slayer. The boy had just gotten hopeful that his nightmare would be over, that he would finally be free from the torment that followed him every day—only to realize that he was facing a decision where there were no good options. Stay with the brigade and go underground, where the demons most likely would suck his soul out? Or escape and come face-to-face with those horrors—alone? The boy didn’t have the resolve to make that call, he knew that. And so his only option would be to leave things as they were. To have that choice made for him by his circumstances. By his cowardice.

He couldn’t bear the frustration anymore, and tears streamed down his face.

“Don’t cry,” Tsetse commanded him. “If anyone sees you crying you’ll be in a lot of trouble.”

“Why do you keep tormenting me, Tsetse?” the boy asked, wiping his nose. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Stop making me do all these things, these choices! Do you think it’s funny—to give me hope and then take it away? Did you have to open your mouth and tease me?”

“I was not teasing you,” Tsetse calmly answered. “I let you know that it’s up to you what you do next.”

“Yeah? Should I be grateful that I get to pick my poison? Did I really need to know that? All my life someone has decided for me. I had no say in any matter. And this is the first choice you give me? Why? Why do you keep testing me, Tsetse?”

“Because I’ve told you,” he calmly said. “That you need to man up. I can’t give you anything. It’s up for you to take it. This is not a fairy tale. We have to be our own heroes.”

The night passed without any more events but, regardless, Puppy Slayer could not sleep peacefully. As soon as he would close his eyes and try to focus on sleep, he would see Marlboro Man’s mangled body. He didn’t know how exactly the boy had died, so his mind was filling in the blanks, adding and removing different wounds. In his dreams, Marlboro Man was dying over and over again—every time in a new and horrifyingly creative way.

He couldn’t stop thinking that it was all his fault that Marlboro Man had died and that the rest of the boys would have to risk their lives. If he had kept his urges under control, if only he hadn’t bitten that fish, none of this would have happened. The boys wouldn’t have followed his example, the General wouldn’t have gotten angry at the villagers, the villagers wouldn’t have had to suffer, and the vile witch wouldn’t be hunting them. It was all clear to him. Clear as the day the arrival of which he dreaded so much.

If only he had been a good soldier like Desecrator or Tsetse. None of this would have had happened.

Perhaps he should just listen to Tsetse and try to escape, if only so that those monsters would capture him. Perhaps if he managed to say a word before they killed him, if he had time to explain himself to them and let them know that the rest of the boys weren’t to blame, they’d take only him and leave the rest of them alone. He hated the adults and wasn’t very concerned about them, but the boys were in the same situation as him—they would be pushed to the extreme again and again, until a preying claw would end their sufferings.

Little by little, the sky started to get brighter as the sun was slowly finding its way back from beyond the horizon. The sky’s baby blue color, getting brighter with each minute, was taunting Puppy Slayer with the inevitability of the coming day.

The squad that the General had sent off had arrived with the first rays of sun. All of the adults were in a good mood—most likely due to the fact that they had managed to evade any signs of trouble, as their numbers remained visibly the same, and their trucks had no signs of a battle taking place.

Some of the soldiers were hanging to the side of a truck instead of sitting it its trunk, as it was fully occupied with something bulky covered in cloth. Puppy Slayer couldn’t guess what it was, but he had a strong suspicion that it was somehow connected to their General’s new desire to go explore the Underworld.

The General was visibly delighted that they had come back without taking any losses. The number of his grunts was dwindling and he was glad that they had managed to find their way back safely. After the last few days of chaos, things were finally starting to turn around for him.

Sending a group of them away was a strong risk—not only could they encounter those devils on their way to their destination point, but there also had been a risk they would decide to abandon the brigade altogether and try their luck on the road. Puppy Slayer figured that they had been facing the same choice as him and had probably decided that trusting the General to lift the curse was the best course of action.

The General held a private meeting with the adults, and five minutes later Tsetse came to the boys and instructed them to start preparing for the march to the Underworld. Puppy Slayer’s heart sank.