Дэвид Муди - Strangers

‘So your man’s at Walpoles?’ Jackie asked.

‘Yeah. Driving work, mainly.’

‘That Barry Walpole can be a bit of a bugger at times.’

‘Can’t all men?’

‘You’re not wrong there.’

‘Scott’s a typical bloke. Never tells me anything about work.’

‘Ah, he’ll be fine, I’m sure. Thing about Barry is he’s a big fish in a small pond, you know? Gets himself on every committee he gets wind of, jus’ ’cause he reckons he’s some big businessman or sumthin’. Likes the sound of his own voice.’

‘I get that impression.’

‘But he’s not the worst,’ she added. ‘Unless you rub him up the wrong way or try to short change him, then he’ll come gunnin’ for you.’

‘You’re not making me feel any better, Jackie. There’s no one more stubborn than my other half.’

Jackie, still barely dressed, pulled her dressing gown tighter around her and watched Michelle drinking her coffee and watching the kids. She waited a few moments longer, the silence getting ever louder, before asking another question. ‘What are you doin’ in Thussock, Michelle? You don’t seem the type, no disrespect, nor your family neither. You’re better than this place. Why sell up and move here?’

Michelle looked anywhere but at Jackie. How much did she tell her? ‘Scott’s business went belly-up. We needed a fresh start.’

‘Yeah, but there’s fresh starts an’ there’s fresh starts. You didn’t need to come out all this way, did you? Or if you did, why not keep going that little bit further and go somewhere that’s not such a bloody dead end?’

‘Housing’s cheap here, and we’re short of cash. Really short of cash. Scott’s a builder. He’s going to do up the house and then…’

‘And then what? Housing’s cheap around these parts because there’s more folk movin’ out than in. They did up a load of houses on the other side of town a couple of years back an’ half of them are still empty. So are things really that bad, Chelle?’

Still avoiding eye-contact, Michelle looked past Jackie and out of the window, watching the slow trickle of eye-level traffic driving up and down Thussock high street. She wiped away a tear. ‘Yep,’ she answered, voice cracking, ‘things really are that bad.’

‘Want to talk about it?’

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘I’m not supposed to.’

‘Says who?’

‘It’s complicated.’

‘I’ll not tell. Honest, Chelle, I’m no gossip. I don’t talk to many folks, and Dez never listens to anythin’ I tell him.’

‘Honestly, it’s very boring. You wouldn’t want to hear it.’

‘Maybe it’s not about me wanting to hear it, though? Maybe it’s all about you gettin’ stuff off your chest? I seen it in you from when we first started talking the other day. You’re holding onto things. Carryin’ stuff for other people.’

‘You’re wrong, Jackie. It’s been a tough few months, that’s all.’

‘No disrespect, love, and tell me to mind my own business if you want, but I think it’s more than that. I was with this bloke once… he liked to drink. Never let me do anything. When things went wrong – an’ they usually did ’cause he was pissed most the time – he’d blame me, tell me it was all my fault. Thing is, when you hear that stuff for long enough, you start thinkin’ it’s true.’

‘Scott’s not like that.’

‘I didn’t say he was.’

‘Like I said, it’s complicated.’

‘And like I said, you’ll do yourself no good holdin’ onto it all.’

‘It’s the kids more than anything.’

‘What d’you mean?’

Michelle was crying freely now, fishing for a tissue from her handbag. Jackie threw a half-empty box across the room to her. ‘They’re the ones who are struggling most. It’s not fair. We make the mistakes, they pay the price.’

‘They’re not stupid, though. They know what’s what, do kids. They know more than we give ’em credit for.’

‘So what happened, Jackie?’

‘What about?’

‘You and your fella? The one who drank?’

‘My dad happened. See, I thought he’d washed his hands off me on account of him not likin’ Kevin. Turns out he knew exactly what was goin’ on… he’d worked it all out long before I had. I went to see Dad when I couldn’t take no more, an’ he beat the shit out of Kev. Nearly bloody killed him. Took nearly two years, but it got sorted in the end. This kind of stuff always does. I reckon it’s better just to take a deep breath and deal with it.’

‘It’s not that easy,’ Michelle said, wiping her eyes furiously, cursing herself.

‘Why not?’

‘You wouldn’t understand.’

‘Try me.’

‘I’ve staked everything on coming here and trying to make things better, Jackie. I need to give it a chance.’

‘Makes sense,’ Jackie said, drawing her legs up and watching Michelle over the rim of her mug. ‘But that just reminds me of sumthin’ Dad used to say.’

‘What was that?’

‘He said things don’t get better, people do.’

Michelle didn’t say anything at first. ‘I could do with a drink,’ she said eventually.

‘Another coffee?’

‘No, a drink drink.’

‘Bit early for that.’

‘Shame.’

‘One night soon, yeah? We’ll have that session we were talking about.’

‘You’re on.’

Another pause. Michelle sensed more questions were coming, but did nothing to encourage them. ‘So is that it then?’ Jackie asked after a while. ‘Your man’s business went tits up? That’s all you’re gonna tell me?’

‘That’s about it.’

‘I heard what you said about housin’, but couldn’t you just have downsized, sumthin’ like that? Why d’you move so far? You got family up this way?’

‘No, none.’

‘What then?’

Michelle paused again, knowing she shouldn’t say anything, but also knowing Jackie was right. This wasn’t her burden, why should she have to carry it? ‘Scott and I had a fight,’ she said, still unsure. ‘Can’t even remember what it was about now. Anyway, he got wound up and left the house in a temper.’

‘And…?’

‘And he had an accident. Kid just walked straight out in front of him and he hit her.’

‘Jeez…’

Michelle was shaking her head. ‘She was only six. They said it was her fault, that she shouldn’t have been out on her own. I mean, Scott was cleared and everything, but I still can’t help thinking…’

‘… that if you two hadn’t been fighting, it might not have happened?’

‘Something like that.’

‘Shit, Chelle, I’m sorry.’

‘Problem is, most folks aren’t so forgiving, especially those who knew Scott and knew what he’s like. They decided he was guilty before he went to court, and even afterwards they still blamed him. We had bricks through the window, graffiti on the garage door… That’s why the business went under, Jackie, and that’s why we’re here.’

Sophia, Jackie’s little girl, waddled over to her mother and handed her a remote control. It was sticky. Jackie wiped it clean on her dressing gown. ‘Beebies,’ Sophia said, and Jackie switched on the TV, thankful of the interruption.

‘Thank Christ for children’s TV, that’s all I can say,’ she said to Michelle.

‘Tell me about it. George watches the same two DVDs over and over. It does my head in, but it’s worth it. I’d never get anything done otherwise. It’s the only time he leaves me alone.’

‘Aye aye,’ Jackie said, pausing as she flicked through the TV channels, fighting off Sophia who tried to get the remote control back so she could put on the channel she’d asked for. ‘Look at this. We’ve made the news.’