Дэвид Муди - Strangers

Half a bar appeared, then a whole bar, then two. Tammy was well away from the house now, walking along the road into Thussock. She dialled out, desperate not to lose the precious signal strength. The call was answered quickly. ‘Dad? Dad, can you hear me?’

‘Tam? I was just thinking about you. How’re you doing? You settled in yet? What’s the house like?’

It all came flooding out. She couldn’t help it. ‘I can’t stand this bloody place, Dad. The house is vile and there’s nothing to do here, and all I want is to go home…’

‘Whoa, whoa… slow down. We talked about this. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but you need to be with your mom and your sister and George and—’

‘It’s not them though, is it? It’s him .’

‘Come on, Princess, we talked about this too. I know you don’t get on and I know he’s had his problems, but he’s trying. You just have to give it some time.’

‘Can’t I come and stay at yours?’

‘You know you can’t. I’m not around much at the moment, and I can’t leave you on your own. Anyway, listen, I was going to try and call you later. I’m in Switzerland for a few days in a couple of weeks. I thought I could arrange to fly back into Edinburgh instead of Heathrow, then I could come and spend a few days with you and Phoebe. I’ll have to check with your mum first, but I thought it could be good. You can show me the sights.’

‘There aren’t any.’

‘Well you’ve got about ten days to find some, okay?’

‘Ten days… I don’t think I’ll last ten more hours here.’

‘Of course you will.’

The phone crackled. She stopped walking. ‘Dad? Dad… you still there?’

An anxious pause, several seconds too long. ‘I’m still here.’

‘The signal’s rubbish up here. I don’t get it. We talked all the time when you were working in Kenya.’

‘And Nigeria last winter.’

‘It’s just this place.’

‘Hey, are you ready for school tomorrow?’

‘Suppose.’

‘You seen it yet?’

‘Saw it this morning.’

‘And?’

‘And what am I supposed to say? It’s a school. School’s school.’

‘Big day tomorrow, though. Hope it goes well.’

‘Just as long as it goes…’

‘Come on, Princess, cheer up. It’s not that bad.’

‘It is that bad. Honestly, Dad, you won’t believe this place when you see it. It’s a dump, and the people are all retards and chavs.’

‘They can’t all be retards and chavs, I don’t believe that.’

‘Like I said, wait ’til you come here.’

‘I’ll look forward to it. I’ll try and give your mum a call later, sort things out. But Tam, just try and be positive, okay. I know it’s hard, but—’

‘You don’t understand.’

‘I can’t hear you… you’re breaking up. Tam…? Tammy?’ She could still hear his voice, but he couldn’t hear her. Then he disappeared altogether. Three bleeps of disconnection sliced through the silence, emphasising the separation. She just stared at the phone thinking it worked in Kenya and Nigeria… why not in fucking Thussock? It made it feel as if her dad was further away than ever, almost like he was on another planet.

She’d walked as far as the wooden bus shelter. She sat down on the uncomfortable bench inside.

‘No buses for another twelve hours or so, love,’ Michelle said, startling her. She’d followed her from the house. She gestured for her daughter to shuffle up and sat down. ‘Get to talk to your dad?’

‘A bit. Signal went.’

‘He okay?’

‘Fine.’

‘Do you want to talk?’

‘No, I want to go home.’

‘We are home.’

‘You know what I mean.’

Michelle swung her feet under the seat, the tips of her toes scuffing the gravel. It was impossibly quiet. From here the side of the shelter obscured the house belonging to the twins they’d seen earlier, and the curve of the road had hidden their own place. She realised that apart from the shelter and the road, she couldn’t see anything else man-made. The isolation was useful. She could talk freely here. ‘It’s all a bit shitty, isn’t it?’

‘You can say that again.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Why are you apologising, Mum? It’s not your fault.’

‘I feel responsible. I helped make the decisions.’

‘No you didn’t. This was all down to Scott, it always is. Stop making excuses for him.’

‘I’m not. Look, Tam, I know it’s hard. I think it’s probably harder on you and Phoebe than the rest of us.’

‘You reckon? I don’t. I think you’ve got it toughest.’

‘Me? How?’

‘Phoebe and me still have a way out. I know Dad’s not around much at the moment, but he keeps saying he’s going to jack his job in so we’ll be able to spend more time at his, and there’s uni and we’ll get our own places eventually. But this is it for you, Mom. You’re stuck with Scott.’

‘Come on, that’s not fair. Don’t say that.’

‘I just wish you’d never married him. Things were fine before he came along and you and Dad split up.’

‘The two things weren’t connected, Tam, and you know it. Your dad and I just grew apart. It happens. We still get on, though, and that’s just about the best we could have hoped for in the circumstances.’

‘Spare me, Mum, I’m not a kid anymore. I’ve heard this a hundred times and I get it – you fell out of love and now you’re just friends. I don’t have an issue with any of that. It’s Scott I have a problem with. He treats you like shit.’

‘That’s not true. He’s been under a huge amount of pressure since—’

‘It is true.’

‘For all his faults though, Tam, I love him. He infuriates me and he does some bloody stupid things at times, but I love him. Besides, we’ve got George. You think the world of your little brother.’

‘I do, and none of this is his fault. When he was born Phoebe and I used to think having him would make everything okay and bring us closer together, make us feel like a real family.’

‘We are a real family.’

‘Hardly.’

‘Come on…’

‘Anyway, I’ve realised I got it wrong. Having George didn’t bring us all together, it just stopped you and Scott from falling apart.’

‘That’s rubbish.’

‘It’s not.’

There was no talking to Tammy when she was in this kind of mood. Michelle just put her arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. She didn’t know what to say for the best and so said nothing. There were no right answers, no easy solutions. Christ, with Tammy pulling her one way and Scott the other, it was a wonder she hadn’t been torn down the middle.

After a few seconds, Michelle stood up. She reached out her hand and pulled Tammy out of the shelter. The twins were working in their garden across the road. They’d changed now, both of them wearing matching baggy jeans and complementary T-shirts. ‘You were right earlier,’ Michelle said, watching them. ‘They are a bit weird.’

Tammy laughed and wiped her eyes. ‘I don’t get how they’re happy wanting to look the same? If I had an identical twin I’d want us both to look completely different.’

‘Jeez, two of you… imagine that. I struggle enough with just the one.’

‘Shut up!’ Tammy said, leaning against her mum.

Michelle was about to speak when a car shot past them. The driver braked hard, then put the car in reverse and came skidding back towards them. He wound down his window. ‘Youse two ladies all right here?’

Michelle and Tammy looked at each other, both struggling with the accent. Michelle subtly positioned herself in front of her daughter. She didn’t like the look of the man in the car. Unshaven, with a horrible, wiry ponytail and wearing a grubby denim jacket and faded football shirt, he looked like he’d been wearing the same clothes since the mid-eighties. His car, a battered old Ford-something-or-other, might have been impressive twenty-odd years ago, but it definitely wasn’t now. The paintwork was patchwork, and the knackered exhaust made it sound more like a tractor than a car. The bodywork was spattered with mud, like it had recently been taken off-road. Inside was no better. The floor and dash were covered in all kinds of crap, the back seat full of DVDs and drinks cans, and the rear windscreen was more stickers than glass.