Cate Tiernan: Reckoning

A minute later I slid into the passenger's seat of Hunter's old Honda and stared into my lap. Seeing that I wasn't in the mood to talk much, he turned on the radio, but it didn't work very well. All he could get was a static-ridden country station. After a few minutes of trying to get something else, he grimaced and switched it off.

"Unbelievable," he commented, shaking his head. "We witches can tap into the power of the universe. We can rip holes between life and death. But we still can't get an old radio with a bent aerial to pick up anything besides crackly country and western."

I couldn't help but smile at that.

As we pulled up in front of my house, Hunter turned to look at me.

"I'll try and have some answers by the morning," he said. "For now, just get some rest."

"Okay," I said, reaching up for the door release. As I was getting out, he reached up for my arm. I turned around to see him stretching over the passenger's seat to look at me.

"Ring me if you have any more problems tonight," he said. "I don't care what time it is."

He waited until I was inside before pulling away. I could hear my dad and Hilary in the kitchen, talking about their plans for converting my room into the Hilspawn habitat. I took from what they were saying that they had just gone out to order a crib and a dresser. Now they were making a list of objects to put on the gift registry—the monitor, a sliding rocker, a Diaper Genie…

In their excitement they didn't even notice that I had come home, which was fine with me. I headed off to my room. I wanted to enjoy it while it was still mine.

October 29, 1948

A strange thing happened today. I was down in the library looking through some old books on the elder futhark alphabet. These particular books are rarely used, so they're kept well in the back. As I pulled the book from the shelf, I noticed another book wedged behind it.

To my amazement, it turned out to be a Book of Shadows that belonged to my great-great-grandmother, Màirin Quinn. How it had gotten lost like that for so many years is beyond me. Our family has always taken great care with its books, especially the Book of Shadows. Stranger still, some of the pagers have been violently torn out. It's not like a Rowanwand to mar a book in any way. I wonder what happened. I'm going to read the book tonight, then I'll make sure its filed away in the proper place.

— Aoibheann

Even before I turned on the light in my room, I knew that something was wrong, Things were different. There should have been shoes by the door for me to trip over. Somebody had changed things in here. Had my attack done something to my room as well? I flicked on the light and discovered the worst.

My belongings were in boxes. Clothes. Shoes. Posters and pictures from my walls. One box was full of books, including my mother's Book of Shadows and mine. It took me a frantic minute to even find Sam's letters—they were packed in with a bunch of old papers from the floor. There were bundled together and retied in ribbon. I felt my stomach clench.

This had to be the work of Hilary. For her to have gone through my stuff was bad enough, but she had been handling my mother's personal property . Had she read the letters? My book?

My brain couldn't even put those thoughts together. Insane, raging, I blew open the door and tore through the house. This was it—I couldn't hold it back any longer. I found them still sitting in the kitchen, giggling over something.

"What's the matter, honey?" my dad asked.

I must have looked like something out of an alien movie. I felt my eyes bulging and my heart racing. My hands were clenching and unclenching.

"What did you do?" I hissed.

"Oh," Hilary said, as if just remembering, "I did some cleaning in your room."

"Cleaning?" I spat. "You didn't clean—you went through everything I own, everything personal… You went through my mother's things…"

They fell silent and looked at each other.

"I didn't go through them, sweetie," she said. "I just put them in boxes."

"First of all," I said, my energy on the rise, "I'm not your sweetie. My name is Alisa. And I'm sorry I've been inconveniencing you with my presence, but I live here, too. You can't just wish me away. I know you are in a big rush to move me down to the storage spot at the end of the hall, but that gives you—"

" Alisa!" my father yelled. "Watch your mouth! I know you're upset, but Hilary is pregnant. Think of what she's going through."

"What Hilary's going through?" I yelled in disbelief. "What about me? You let Hilary come in here, take over the house, order me around. You barely even know I'm alive. I have to eat her horrible food, and move all my things, and listen to her puke."

"How dare you talk about her that way!" My father said, barely able to control himself. "This is the woman who is going to be your stepmother. You have to show her respect!"

" Please!" I groaned. "She's practically my age. What, couldn't you find anyone younger ? Why didn't you just ask me? I could have introduced you to some freshmen at my school."

I knew I had entered uncharted, dangerous territory, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. It was like my jaw had become unhinged or something, and every terrible thought I ever had was spilling out. I wondered if the spell was still affecting me, allowing me to let fly with all my thoughts and emotions. I knew I was digging myself into a very deep whole.

"You're just marrying her because you got her pregnant," I hissed, all control gone. "Because you were stupid . You were both stupid. And I've got to suffer because the two of you don't know how to control yourselves."

Hilary began to cry, and my father's face turned purple. He turned to me with more rage than I have ever seen him show anyone. All at once it hit me what I'd done. I'd told them everything I'd been thinking—everything. I hadn't wanted to say. On top of it all, the spice rack fell of the wall.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Before he could even retort, I decided to get the hell out of there. I didn't even want to know what he was going to say to that. I ran back to my room and slammed and locked the door. This was bad. This was very bad. My life was about to take an abrupt turn for the worse, if such things was possible.

A thought suddenly flashed into my mind. Gloucester . I would go to Gloucester. Now .

It was an insane idea, but not much more insane that the thought of going back into the kitchen after that conversation. Really, there was no better time to go. Besides, didn't my mothers family have a right to have me if my own father couldn't be bothered? Something had been telling me to go there. Now I would listen to it.

Impulsively I grabbed my duffel bag. I put in my mother's Book of Shadows, the printout of Sam's e-mail, some random clothes and things from my dresser. What else would I need? I looked around and took my warmest sweater, a hairbrush, and my own Book of Shadows and stuffed my purse right on top. That was it. The bag was full, and I felt that I needed to move quickly before my father recovered enough to come after me.

I peeked out into the hall. No one was there. I could hear fevered talking in the kitchen. As silently as possible, I crept down the stairs. Fortunately you can't see our front door from the kitchen, so I was able to slip out. I ran, as quickly as I could, across our neighbors' yard and down the street. I knew it wouldn't be long before my dad figured out that I had given them the slip, and then he would be out on the street, looking for me.

Once I was away from the house, I realized that I didn't have a second move planned out. When I slowed down to a walk, I saw that I had been going in the direction of the Rowlandses' house. I checked my watch. It was probably right around Morgan's curfew. She would have to pass the local playground on her way home from Hunter's. I headed for it and tucked myself in behind the spiral slide so that I wouldn't be easily seen but I would still be able to scan the road. About ten minutes later the distinctive shape of Morgan's car made its way around the corner. I came out from where I had been hiding and waved her over. She slowed, looked out the window in surprise, then came to a stop.