Nothing in my life had ever prepared me for this.
I stood rigid, uncertain. Then I lifted my free hand, and smoothed the rough inky silk of his hair. "Japhrimel." I said, again. "What—"
"I failed," he said, his breath blurring hot through my shirt to touch my skin. I barely understood him, his voice was so muffled; he pressed against me like a cat or a child. " I failed you."
"What are you talking about?" My own voice refused to work properly. Instead, I sounded like I had something lodged in my windpipe, strangling my words, making me breathless.
He looked up, his arm still pressing me forward. "I knew you were not dead," he said, his eyes blazing so brightly I almost expected to smell scorching in the air. "For I was not returned to Hell. Yet I did not know what Vardimal would do to you—keep you alive to torture you, or wait until I reached you before he killed you. I did not know , Dante. I failed to protect you, and you were taken."
"It's all right," I whispered. "Look, you couldn't know they'd paste me with a plasgun bolt. Even you can't outrun one of those. It's not your fault, Japhrimel."
"I found myself faced with a vision of an existence without you, Dante. It was… unpleasant." His lips peeled back from his teeth in a pained snarl that tried to be a smile.
You will not leave me to wander the earth alone . His voice traced a rough line through my memory.
I smoothed his hair. The inky darkness was silky, slightly coarse, slipping through my fingers. "Hey," I said. "Don't worry about it. It's all right now."
I sounded awkward even to myself. He's a demon, Danny. What is he doing ?
"You will hate me, Dante. It cannot be avoided."
A jagged laugh snapped out of me. "I don't hate you," I admitted. Great, Danny. He's too old for you. He's not even human .
But he came for me , I protested.
Only because he's got a stake in this. He's playing with you, Danny. He's playing. Nobody could ever —
I don't care , I thought. He doesn't look like he's playing. I don't care . "But you're a—"
"You must know," he said. "I am no longer demon."
What ? I stared at him, my fingers stopping, curling into his hair. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"I am no longer demon," he repeated, slowly, looking up at me. He was queerly pale under the even golden tone of his skin. "I am Fallen. I am A'nankimel . I have set you as a seal upon my heart; I will not return to Hell." His arm tensed, and so did his fingers holding my right hand.
My mouth went dry. "Um," was my utterly profound response.
He waited, patient and expectant, staring up at my face.
I regained the power of speech in a spluttering rush. "You mean… what do you… I mean, I… um, why do you… ah. What ?"
"I am yours," he said, slowly, as if spelling it out for an idiot.
"Why?" I could have kicked myself. How do I get in these situations? I'm chasing one demon and I have another kneeling at my feet and oh my dear gods, what am I going to do ?
"Because you are the only being in eternity who has treated me as an equal," he said, his arm tightening a little more. My knees buckled slightly. "You have trusted me; you have even defended me to your precious friends. I have watched you, Dante, in daylight and in shadow, and I have found you fair."
"Um," I said again. "Japhrimel—"
"My price for silence to Lucifer is this: Do not send me from your side," he whispered, still watching my face. "When you have killed Santino, allow me to remain with you."
"Um," My brain seemed to be working through syrup. "Ah, well, you know, I can't have a demon hanging around."
"Why not?" he asked, logically enough. "You court Death, Dante. You have found nothing to live for; you walk alone. I have seen your loneliness, and it gives me pain. Besides, it seems you are foolhardy enough to need me."
It occurred to me that I should protest about this, but it was hard to find an objection in the soup my brain had become. Common sense warned me to be cautious—after all, he was a demon, and demons lied . That was the first rule in Magi and Ceremonial training—beings that weren't human had nonhuman ideas about the strict truth of any situation. What was in it for him?
And yet… He had stood behind me when I faced Lucas Villalobos. He'd tried to follow me into Death. And he'd burned down damn near a third of Nuevo Rio looking for me.
But Lucifer has him by the balls, too , I thought.
"What about your freedom?" I finally asked him.
"When we win my freedom, it is mine to do with as I will," he said. "I will stay with you, Dante. As long as you allow it, and perhaps after."
I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking about it. I had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth. "Why now? Why tell me this now ?"
"I told you there was a way," he said. "I wish to give you a part of my Power, Dante, and I must do it quickly, before I become more A'nankimel than I already am. It will bind me to your side and your world will become my domain. There is only a short time for me to bond with you before I fall into darkness and a mortal death." His arm loosened a little, but I couldn't have gotten away if I tried, because he rose to his feet, my right hand still trapped in his left. I had to tip my head back to look at him. My heart pounded and my palms slipped with sweat, and I had the lunatic idea that maybe I would start screaming, once I got my breath back. Something about his eyes was making it difficult to breathe.
"Oh," I said, and wished I hadn't, because he smiled. It was a gentle smile, and my entire body seemed to recognize it.
His free hand came up, cupped the side of my face. "Courage, hedaira ," he said, softly, his breath touching my cheek. Then he leaned down, and his mouth met mine.
It's said by the Magi that demons invented the arts of love, and I was tempted to believe it. The kiss tore through me, lightning filling my veins, the smell of him invading me, making me drunk. Blood-warm, his darkness folded around me, and I shuddered, my hands coming up and clasping behind his neck. My entire body arched toward his, he tipped me over onto the bed. I didn't care.
He bit his lip, and the smoke and spice of demon blood filled my mouth. I gasped for air, swallowing, choking on the scorching-hot fluid, his Power wrapped around us both. I was too far gone to think, nothing but a welter of sensation, my throat burning, eyes closed, his hands tearing at my clothes, finding bare skin and burning me all the way down to the bone. I cried out twice, shaking and shuddering, wet with sweat, my heart exploding inside my chest. And when he drove his body into mine I nearly lost consciousness, screaming, thrashing away from pleasure so intense it was like the chill-sweet darkness of Death. It was like dying, being held in his arms while the Power tore through me, remade me, and finally drove me down deep into twilight. Again.
The soupy half-conscious daze lasted for a long time. I would surface for long enough to remember where I was—completely naked, in a demon's arms, lying in one of Jace Monroe's beds—and then my mind would shiver back into a kind of halfsleep. My entire body burned, changing. He held me when my bones crackled, shifting into new shapes; things moved under my skin, internal organs changing and moving, my heart pulsing lethargically. He murmured into my hair, his voice taking away the pain and bathing me in narcotic drowsiness.
It ended with a final flush of Power that coated my skin, sealing me away. I came back to myself with a rush.
Japhrimel lay next to me, my hair tangled over his face, my head pillowed on his shoulder. His fingers, no longer scorching-hot but merely warm, trailed up my back and I shuddered. "It's done," he whispered. For the first time, he sounded tired. Exhausted.
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