Leslie Hartley - The Complete Short Stories of L.P. Hartley

‘Just twelve,’ said Henry. ‘There’s the Marangona.’

They listened, and above the hubbub of voices and dance music they heard the solemn sound of the great bell tolling midnight.

‘I won’t tell Annette that I’m going,’ Maureen said, ‘and don’t you tell her either; it might spoil her fun. I’ll send the gondoliers straight back and tell them to wait for you. Now we mustn’t be seen talking together any more or it will look odd.’ Before Henry could speak she had turned away, and with slight inclinations of her head to left and right was making for the staircase.

Henry made a movement to follow her and then turned back. She knew her own mind, no one better. But what should he do? Irresolutely he looked towards the tent he had left—but was it the same tent? He couldn’t be sure, and anyhow another man had taken his place, leaving the flap open. Several of the tents had their flaps open, the occupants preferring air and light to freedom from mosquitoes. He picked his way among the tents. Which one should he invade? They all seemed full. Even the bowers of love, which were more opaque than the others, had darker shadows in them. He was shut out! For a moment he felt as a wandering Arab might, whose tribe had exiled him. But he mustn’t stand there moping: he would go down and watch the dancers.

Plenty of other guests were doing the same: on gilt chairs and settees they lined the walls; behind them the crimson brocade stretched upwards to the ceiling of painted beams; pictures and mirrors hung above them. His tired mind could not synthesize the scene. Better try to find Annette—ah, here she was, on the arm, or in the arms, of a young man. Her face was rapt and expressionless: she passed within a foot of Henry without seeing him. She was in another world, a world of youth into which he could not penetrate—a world which jealously guarded its own feelings, especially from lonely wallflower fathers. The music whined and groaned and thumped and stammered. Where was she now? There were other rooms, rooms for sitting out in, that led off the sala . He mustn’t seem curious about her, he mustn’t feel curious about her, she didn’t belong to him, she belonged to all those young men, the Nino’s, Nini’s, Gigio’s and Gigi’s, and the emotions they aroused in her: emotions which sometimes made her youthful face look stern.

Here she was again, on another arm, this time; and this time her face was not so much rapt as set, and in the lines of her body there was the tautness of strain, such as you see in a plant that is being forced to grow in a shape it doesn’t like. Was she a captive? He thought her eyes met his: he longed to say, ‘Oh, please come here and talk to me a moment!’ But he must not; if she had been in another continent she could not have been farther from him.

At most times she could see a joke as well as anyone, indeed she often laughed when he saw nothing to laugh at. But where her young men were concerned she was, it seemed to him, as impervious both to humour and to reason as her mother was in matters of social etiquette and observance. She took it all with deadly seriousness, even when she was laughing and flirting with her swains; and she resented any comment on her conduct, however sympathetic and well meant.

Does she really know what she is doing?’ he had once asked her mother. ‘She seems to think that love to-day is different from love at any other time.’

‘Oh, Annette’s all right,’ Maureen replied. ‘Besides, there’s safety in numbers. We mustn’t interfere, we must let her find her feet. If she was really serious about anyone, I should know.’

‘Yes, but this isn’t England,’ Henry said. ‘ Autres pays, autres mœurs .’

Maureen shook her head. ‘We mustn’t spoil her fun,’ she said. It had become a slogan.

Henry did not like watching people dance, it pricked him with nostalgia and a sense of guilt that he, too, was not dancing; so after a while he went upstairs again. This time he spied a breach in one of the muslin fortresses: it widened, a head emerged and a voice urged him to come in. He obeyed. The flap was folded to, the bows were tied, the outside world withdrew. But it was only a brief respite. The other man of the trio looked at his watch: “Why, it’s two o’clock,’ he said. ‘Dobbiamo filare—we must be off!’ The warmth and graciousness of their farewells made Henry feel more lonely than before. Again he descended to the ballroom, this time he would risk Annette’s displeasure, beard the Nino’s and the Gigio’s and beg her to come back. ‘Your mother isn’t well!’—that should be his plea. But this time he couldn’t see her in the milling throng; she had vanished: face after beautiful face looked blankly down at his. Perhaps Loredana knows where she is, he thought, and diffidently approached his hostess where, fresh and animated as five hours ago, she sat, magnetizing the men on either side of her: but just out of range of her conscious glance he stopped. With a hundred or more guests about her, how could she know where Annette was? And it would be a clumsy, tactless question anyway; how Annette would hate the notion of a search-party, of being run to earth! And he might have to explain, prematurely, about Maureen, too. So he waved to his hostess as gaily as he could, and she shouted something out to him: Venetians always shouted at you—in ballrooms as well as from bridges—something he couldn’t catch: was it good night? Did she think he was taking his leave? Making it as inconspicuous as possible? He couldn’t tell, and slowly, availing himself of the silken rope, he climbed to the upper gallery.

It was in semi-darkness; in the splendid chandeliers only a few lights sparkled. Had all the non-dancing guests, the vecchietti , departed? The encampment hadn’t been dismantled; nothing had been put straight: the servants had left the task of tidying till the morning. Peering in, he saw the cards scattered on the card-tables. The more distant tents, the bowers of love, he could hardly see, still less tell whether they were tenanted. He passed by them towards the windows and saw, with a sudden rush of longing, the two tents set apart for the misanthropes. Either would be a refuge. He chose the farther one, in the darker corner; once inside, he felt rather than saw that he was its first occupant. Draw the flaps and make them fast; let the mosquitoes sing outside! Dimly the thud and whine of the music reached him; it had no power to disturb him now: it was a lullaby. Soon he fell asleep.

He dreamed and in his dream he was still looking for someone, but it wasn’t here, it was in the bright sunshine among the bathing-huts and cabins of the Lido. The search was most embarrassing, for all the cabins had their blinds drawn down, and every time he knocked an angry voice said, ‘Who’s that? You can’t come in.’ ‘I’m looking for my daughter, Annette,’ he explained. ‘She’s a tall girl, dark, and rather pretty. I want to take her home. Have you seen her?’ ‘We have seen her,’ the voice replied, ‘but she doesn’t want to go home, and she’ll be angry if you try to find her. Nino and Nini and Gigio and Gigi are looking after her. She has her own life to live, you know.’ ‘Yes,’ said Henry, ‘but her mother is anxious about her. She doesn’t want her to go home alone—it wouldn’t do. People would talk about her. Please tell me where she is.’ ‘She’s somewhere here,’ the voice said grudgingly, ‘but you won’t be able to get in because the door’s locked. This is a temple d’amour , so please leave us in peace.’

Oddly enough Henry knew at once which door the speaker meant and went straight to it. But now he was carrying some flowers, flowers he had bought in the Campo San Stefano that morning, and he was glad of this because they gave him an excuse. He knocked and said very humbly, ‘Please let me in, Annette, and don’t be angry with me: I’ve only come to give you these flowers—you can wear them in your hair or anywhere you like, but you needn’t wear them at all if you don’t want to. Not everyone likes flowers.’ But though he knew she was inside she didn’t answer, and he saw that the flowers were withering in his hands.