Darren Shan - Procession of the dead

She left. I stood staring after her, mouth hanging open. A couple of seconds later she was back for one last question. "Do you remember your childhood?" I must have jumped because she smiled knowingly. "Neither do I," she said. And then she was gone again, this time for good.

I filed my papers back at the office. Sonja was there, sullen, glaring at me, but she brightened up when she saw the signed forms. She'd been trying to land Reed for almost as long as The Cardinal had. She asked how I did it, making an effort to bridge the chasm between us. I only grunted. She'd tricked me and lied to me. I wasn't prepared to forgive and forget. I gave her the forms to finish, made a curt excuse and left.

I wandered the streets of the city for a few hours before making my lonely way back to the Skylight. Could I really betray The Cardinal? It should have been an unthinkable question. He'd spared me. Brought me into the fold, set me up with a great job, told Ford Tasso and Sonja to teach me. I was going to turn on him after all that, on account of a cat burglar who'd seduced me on the stairs? It was crazy.

I had to give her to him. For all I knew she was a plant, and he'd put her in my way to test my loyalty. If she wasn't-if she was genuine-revealing her was all the more imperative. I should go home, shower, pick up my phone and tell The Cardinal all about Ama Situwa and the threat she posed. Feelings-the stirrings of what might be love, but which was probably just horniness-be damned.

I'd about made up my mind when my cell rang. It was one of The Cardinal's secretaries. He wanted to see me ASAP. He'd heard about my deal with Cafran and wanted to congratulate me in person. That was the deciding factor. I'd go there and tell him face-to-face. Ama Situwa was finished. The hell with Adrian too. I had my own neck to worry about and that mattered to me more than any other's.

Just when my future had been settled, my phone rang again. This time it was one of Conchita's doctors. She'd had a visit from her husband, suffered a relapse and tried to kill herself. He said she'd nearly succeeded. He asked me to come as swiftly as I could. They'd drugged her but she was still conscious. If I couldn't help her, she'd have to be taken someplace where professionals could care for her. He didn't come right out and say I was the only thing between her and the nuthouse but it was what he meant. Forgetting all my other troubles, I barked at Thomas and we made it to the Skylight in record time. The Cardinal would have to wait.

When I reached Conchita's apartment, I was told she'd calmed down since they called, due to exhaustion, drugs and the blood she'd lost. She was in her bedroom, resting, crying, staring at the ceiling, half-dozing. The doctors wanted me to come back in the morning, but then a nurse came out and said Conchita had been asking for me, so they decided I'd better go in after all. They warned me to be gentle with her, comforting, understanding. As if I needed telling.

I entered, closed the door and crossed the room to the frail figure stretched across the bed. "Hey, little one," I said softly.

Her eyes opened and she smiled weakly. "Hi." Her voice was faint and pained. "I thought you weren't going to come, that I'd die alone tonight, that I'd lost you."

"Don't be silly. You can't lose me. I have a homing device stitched into my skull. It always brings me back, whether I like it or not."

"Silly." She grimaced. "It's been so long since I tried to kill myself. I forgot how much it hurts." She began to weep. I cuddled her gently.

"Shh. Don't cry. There's no need. I'm here. I'll help. I promised to protect you, didn't I? Forever." I backed off just enough so I could see her face. "What did he say, Conchita? What did the bastard say to make you want to end it all?"

"He was awful, Capac," she moaned. "He didn't mean to be. He was trying to help, like you are now, only he doesn't know how. He wanted to prepare me." Her eyes were brimming with tears. She shook her head sadly and some of the tears trickled out. "Poor Ferdy. He always tried to do what was best for me. He was just never very good at it."

"He's still alive?"

"Of course," she sniffed. "Ferdy will never die. He'll go on forever and ever, horrible and helpless as always."

"I thought he was dead."

"No. It was Ferdy. He'd lost some weight but otherwise he didn't look so different."

"What did he say to make you do such a… a foolish thing?"

She stared at me coldly, the maturity of her age in evidence for once. "He told me you were a gangster."

My face fell. "Conchita, I… I was going to tell you. I didn't want-"

"It's all right," she said. "I don't mind. I had my suspicions anyway. But he also said you were an Ayuamarcan." That word again! It shocked me coming from her lips. "He said getting close to you would be a bad idea, but I knew that anyway."

"Why would it be a bad idea, Conchita?" I asked quietly.

"Because almost all the Ayuamarcans end up dead," she replied. "A few get to live-the chosen few-but the rest… By telling me, he hoped to soften the blow." She snorted. "Stupid monster of a man."

"I don't understand," I said, letting her go, moving away.

"Don't worry," she said, following me. "I'm not going to listen. He frightened me when he came. I tried to kill myself because I was scared. I couldn't face losing you. But you're different. You're not like the others. You can beat him, I know you can. You're not like them… or me." She nodded when I looked sharply at her. "I'm one too. I'm weak like the others. But you can turn the tables on him, Capac. You're stronger than the rest of us."

"I still don't understand," I said. "What does Ferdinand Wain have to do with this? How can a nobody who's supposed to be dead wield so much influence? How does he tie in with this Ayuamarca list? What power does he-"

"Ferdinand who?" she interrupted.

"Ferdinand Wain," I groaned. Was she forcing him out of her thoughts already? Shutting reality out again?

"Who's that?"

"He's…" I reached across and touched her hand. I didn't want to continue but I couldn't let her retreat, not until I had the information I needed. I had to push her, much as I might hate myself for it. "He's your husband. Ferdinand Wain." She stared at me numbly and shook her head.

"No, Capac," she whispered.

"Yes, Conchita."

"No!" she screamed. Then grabbed my face and stared at me, horrified. "I thought you knew. I thought that was why… God. I'm not married to Ferdinand Wain, Capac. My husband is Ferdinand Dorak."

"Who…?" My mind reeled. I knew the name but couldn't admit it.

"Dorak," she repeated. And then, sitting back, face ashen, eyes starting to well with tears, she said, "I'm married to The Cardinal."

ama situwa

I sat alone in Shankar's, as far removed from the morning regulars as possible, and brooded over the events of the previous night. I had no appetite. I'd ordered a glass of orange juice but lost interest in it after a couple of bitter sips.

Ferdinand Wain didn't exist. The name was a cover, something toserve up to doctors, nurses, hotel staff and gullible fools like me. Conchita was married to The Cardinal.

I still had trouble accepting it. How could that old monster have won the hand of sweet, innocent Conchita? Then again, maybe she hadn't always been this way. The fragile, defenseless woman holed up in the Skylight might be a result of the illness which wrecked her body. What was she like before?

Conchita said nothing of importance after hitting me with the bombshell. I asked a few more questions about the Ayuamarcans but she waved them away with exhausted mumbles, saying only that they were dead people. She fell asleep in my arms. I held her for a long time, staring off into space, feeling her weak heart beating softly. She didn't stir when I left.