Аманда Хокинг - Hollowland

He still had his jeans on, but I could feel the weight of his body pressing tentatively against mine. Instinctively, my body pushed against his, and I tightened my fingers in his hair, kissing him deeper. Everything inside me trembled with anticipation. Wonderful hot tingles spread through me and my stomach fluttered.

I felt his hand on my hip, and his fingers looped in my panties, sliding them down. They caught on the gauze wrapped around my bite wound, and Lazlo stopped kissing me to look down.

“What’s that?” He looked back up at me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just a cut. I’m fine,” I tried to reassure him. His eyebrows scrunched with uncertainty, and I smiled at him. “Really. I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

He wasn’t completely convinced, so I slid my hand over the smooth skin of his stomach, and it trembled underneath my touch. I sat up kissing his chest and neck, and I pulled off his pants. His mouth returned to mine, kissing me as he slid down my pants. He propped himself up over me, his skin resting warmly against mine.

Then I felt him, sliding inside of me, and my breath caught in my throat. I buried my fingers in his back and pushed him against me. He kissed my mouth, my neck, my shoulders, everything he could reach, and I moaned against him.

“I think I love you,” he murmured, his breath on my ear.

I wanted to say it back, but I couldn’t. The words were lodged inside, so I held him tighter to me, pressing my lips into his shoulder.

I had never felt closer to anyone than I did with him then, and there was something almost painful about that. The intensity of being so vulnerable and so intimate with him. It would kill me to let him go.

Gasping for breath, he rested his forehead against my shoulder and tried to gain some composure. When he gently kissed my shoulder, my skin quivered underneath his lips. So he wouldn’t put his whole weight of his body on me, he rolled off and lay on his back next to me.

I rolled over with my back to him. It all hit me so suddenly, and I couldn’t contain my emotions anymore. Tears were pooling in my eyes, and I fought to keep them back.

“Remy? Are you okay?” Lazlo sat up, putting one hand on my hip and peering over to see me. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” I shook my head. I couldn’t elaborate more, because I would cry if I did.

“Was… was that your first time?” he asked carefully.

“No.” My first time had been with my high school boyfriend. We’d been crazy in love and we thought we’d be together forever. Then a zombie got him, but that was after we’d broken up.

“So what’s going on?” He sat up more and pushed the hair back from my face, so he could really see it. “Remy? What’s the matter?”

“I just… I’m gonna miss you,” I swallowed hard.

“Rem, I’m not going anywhere.” He bent down and kissed my shoulder. “You can’t get rid of me if you tried.” When I didn’t smile, he figured it out. “Wait. You’re going somewhere.”

I hadn’t planned to tell him anything, but I had to. I couldn’t let him think that this was his fault, that he was the one making me this upset. Taking a deep breath, I rolled over more so he could see my hip, all bandaged up.

“Remember how I said this was nothing?” I peeled it back, so he could see my healing wound, and his eyes widened. “That’s a zombie bite.”

“What do you mean?” His skin blanched. “You’re… you’re infected?”

“No, I’m not. This bite is a week old.” I bit my lip and watched for his reaction, but he only got more confused and upset. “I’m immune, Lazlo.”

“Why do you make that sound like a bad thing?”

“It’s not.” I sat up and pulled the sheets over me, feeling self-conscious about being naked. “But… I’m gonna switch places with Max.”

“What are you talking about?” By now, anger and fear had seeped into his words. Lazlo pieced together what I was getting at.

“They’re killing him,” I explained. “I can’t leave him in there. I promised I would protect him, and I’m not. I have to do something.”

“Right. So, let’s break him out and get out of here.”

“No, I can’t do that either.” I shook my head. “First of all, they’d come after him with everything they had. But more importantly, the whole world is dying. And I might hold the cure. I can’t sit idly by and let everything be destroyed. Not if I can save it.”

“But you just said they’re killing him!” He looked incredulously at me. “So if you go in there, they’re gonna kill you too!”

“Maybe, yeah,” I admitted and looked away from him.

“They’re not gonna find a cure. You know that. We just need to wait this thing out. The zombies will all die and the virus will die. It’ll just take time.”

“Maybe. But people shouldn’t live like this!” I gestured to the trailer around us. “We’re not supposed to live inside a glorified cage! And the virus might get in here too! I can’t just let that happen. You and Harlow and Max and everyone deserve better than this! I want you to be able to have a long full life where there isn’t a risk of getting eaten by a zombie or infected with a crazy virus! My god, Lazlo, I care about you too much to let that happen!”

“If you care about me, then just run away with me!” Lazlo pleaded with me. “What are you gonna do with Max, anyway? Just open the door to the building and wish him luck?”

“No.” I looked away from him, knowing he wouldn’t react well when he found out that I’d talked to Blue and Tatum, but not him. “Blue and Tatum are helping me get in the building. Tatum is helping them break out of here, and Blue’s gonna take Max back to the compound with London.”

“Blue is taking care of Max?” Lazlo tried not to sound hurt, but he was far too transparent.

“Yeah. He’s good with a gun, he’s a doctor, and I didn’t want to put you in anymore danger than you need to be,” I said. “You and Harlow will be safe here.”

“You expect me just to stay in this stupid trailer while they’re in that building, killing you?” He shook his head. “No way, Remy. No way!” He got up out of the bed, angrily pulling on his boxers. “I won’t let you do this! I can’t let you do this!”

“It’s already done!” I shouted. “We’re going just before dawn.”

“Tonight?” He gaped at me. “You’re going tonight?” I nodded. “Oh my god. You weren’t gonna tell me, were you?”

“I just thought it would be easier,” I tried to explain.

“Oh my god.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked away from me. “I just told you I loved you, and you didn’t say anything! You were just gonna leave me forever!”

“Lazlo, it’s not like that.” I got out of bed, wrapping the sheet around me, and walked over to him. He stood with his back against the wall, refusing to look at me, and tears were standing in his dark eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” I reached out to touch him, and he pushed my hand away. “Lazlo, please.” I put my hand on his chest, staring up at him with tears in my own eyes. “You’re going to be the last person I ever love.”

“I don’t know why you say that like it should comfort me,” he said thickly.

“Because it comforts me.” I felt his heart, beating erratically under my hand. Finally, he looked down at me.

“I wouldn’t have survived without you. You saved my life like fifty times. Even when you weren’t literally dodging a bullet for me, you gave me a reason to keep fighting. What am I supposed to do if you go?”

“You’re stronger than you think,” I forced a smile at him. “You saved my life, too.”

“Remy, you can’t save the world,” he said plaintively.