Stephen King - Just After Sunset

[A pause to think.]

No, more important. Because it’s how we see the world that keeps the darkness beyond the world at bay. Keeps it from pouring through and drowning us. I think all of us might know that, way down deep. So I turned to go, and I was most of the way back to my car — I might even have been touching the doorhandle — when something turned me around again. And that was when I saw .

[He is silent for a long time. I notice he is trembling. He has broken out in a sweat. It gleams on his forehead like dew.]

There was something in the middle of the stones. In the middle of the circle they made, either by chance or design. It was black, like the sky in the east, and green like the hay. It was turning very slowly, but it never took its eyes off me. It did have eyes. Sick pink ones. I knew — my rational mind knew — that it was just light in the sky I was seeing, but at the same time I knew it was something more. That something was using that light. Something was using the sunset to see with, and what it was seeing was me .

[He’s crying again. I don’t offer him the Kleenex, because I don’t want to break the spell. Although I’m not sure I could have offered them in any case, because he’s cast a spell over me, too. What he’s articulating is a delusion, and part of him knows it — “shadows that looked like faces,” etc. — but it’s very strong, and strong delusions travel like cold germs on a sneeze.]

I must have kept backing up. I don’t remember doing it; I just remember thinking that I was looking at the head of some grotesque monster from the outer darkness. And thinking that where there was one, there would be more. Eight stones would keep them captive — barely — but if there were only seven, they’d come flooding through from the darkness on the other side of reality and overwhelm the world. For all I knew, I was looking at the least and smallest of them. For all I knew, that flattened snakehead with the pink eyes and what looked like great long quills growing out of its snout was only a baby .

It saw me looking.

The fucking thing grinned at me, and its teeth were heads. Living human heads.

Then I stepped on a dead branch. It snapped with a sound like a firecracker, and the paralysis broke. I don’t think it’s impossible that that thing floating inside the circle of stones was hypnotizing me, the way a snake is supposed to be able to do with a bird.

I turned and ran. My lens-bag kept smacking my leg, and each smack seemed to be saying Wake up! Wake up! Get out! Get out! I pulled open the door of my 4Runner, and I heard the little bell dinging, the one that means you left your key in the ignition. I thought of some old movie where William Powell and Myrna Loy are at the desk of a fancy hotel and Powell rings the bell for service. Funny what goes through your mind at moments like that, isn’t it? There’s a gate in our heads, too — that’s what I think. One that keeps the insanity in all of us from flooding our intellects. And at critical moments, it swings open and all kinds of weird shit comes flooding through.

I started the engine. I turned on the radio, turned it up loud, and rock music came roaring out of the speakers. It was The Who, I remember that. And I remember popping on the headlights. When I did, those stones seemed to jump toward me . I almost screamed. But there were eight, I counted them, and eight is safe.

[There’s another long pause here. Almost a full minute.]

The next thing I remember, I was back on Route 117. I don’t know how I got there, if I turned around or backed out. I don’t know how long it took me, but The Who song was over and I was listening to The Doors. God help me, it was “Break On Through to the Other Side.” I turned the radio off.

I don’t think I can tell you any more, Doc, not today. I’m exhausted.

[And he looks it.]

[Next Session]

I thought the effect the place had had on me would dissipate on the drive home — just a bad moment out in the woods, right? — and surely by the time I was in my own living room, with the lights and TV on, I’d be okay again. But I wasn’t. If anything, that feeling of dislocation — of having touched some other universe that was inimical to ours — seemed to be stronger. The conviction remained that I’d seen a face — worse, the suggestion of some huge reptilian body — in that circle of stones. I felt… infected . Infected by the thoughts in my own head. I felt dangerous , too — as if I could summon that thing just by thinking about it too much. And it wouldn’t be alone. That whole other cosmos would come spilling through, like vomit through the bottom of a wet paper bag.

I went around and locked all the doors. Then I was sure that I’d forgotten a couple, so I went around and checked them all again. This time I counted: front door, back door, pantry door, bulkhead door, garage overhead door, back garage door. That was six, and it came to me that six was a good number. Like eight is a good number. They’re friendly numbers. Warm. Not cold, like five or…you know, seven. I relaxed a little, but I still went around one last time. Still six. “Six is a fix,” I remember saying. After that I thought I’d be able to sleep, but I couldn’t. Not even with an Ambien. I kept seeing the setting sun on the Androscoggin, turning it into a red snake. The mist coming out of the hay like tongues. And the thing in the stones. That most of all.

I got up and counted all the books in my bedroom bookcase. There were ninety-three. That’s a bad number, and not just because it’s odd. Divide ninety-three by three and you come out with thirty-one: thirteen backwards. So I got a book from the little bookcase in the hall. But ninety-four is only a little better, because nine and four add up to thirteen. There are thirteens everywhere in this world of ours, Doc. You don’t know. Anyway, I added six more books to the bedroom case. I had to cram, but I got them in. A hundred is okay. Fine, in fact.

I was heading back to bed, then started wondering about the hall bookcase. If I’d, you know, robbed Peter to pay Paul. So I counted those, and that was all right: fifty-six. The numbers add to eleven, which is odd but not the worst odd, and fifty-six divides to twenty-eight — a good number. After that I could sleep. I think I had bad dreams, but I don’t remember them.

Days went by, and my mind kept going back to Ackerman’s Field. It was like a shadow had fallen over my life. I was counting lots of things by then, and touching things — to make sure I understood their places in the world, the real world, my world — and I’d started to place things, too. Always even numbers of things, and usually in a circle or on a diagonal line. Because circles and diagonals keep things out.

Usually, that is. And never permanently. One small accident and fourteen becomes thirteen, or eight becomes seven.

In early September, my younger daughter visited and commented on how tired I looked. She wanted to know if I was overworking. She also noticed that all the living-room knickknacks — stuff her mom hadn’t taken after the divorce — had been placed in what she called “crop circles.” She said, “You’re getting a little wiggy in your old age, aren’t you, Dad?” And that was when I decided I had to go back to Ackerman’s Field, this time in full daylight. I thought if I saw it in daylight, saw just a few meaningless rocks standing around in an uncut hayfield, I’d realize how foolish the whole thing was, and my obsessions would blow away like a dandelion puff in a strong breeze. I wanted that. Because counting, touching, and placing — those things are a lot of work. A lot of responsibility.