Stephen Gallagher - Valley of lights

I'd still dream about her, sometimes. In the dream I'd be standing by her bed like I did when it was all over, and suddenly she'd open her eyes and say something like, Wow, Alex wasn't that close? And I'd agree that it was, and then I'd take her home. And then I'd wake up from the dream and go and stand under the shower for a while, and then I'd go out and lose myself in the job.

I never meant for police work to become my life, but that seems to be the way that it went. I don't know much else. I do know that I'm dull company – I've seen the eyes of enough strangers glazing over at parties as I've talked to them about the service – but what can you do? You're who you are.

I didn't connect my dream to my interest in the events at the Paradise Motel. At least, not at that stage.

At the end of the shift I changed out of my uniform and drove home to the trailer park. I may have made it sound lowlife, but it wasn't. It was a quiet little walled acre out in the east of the city where leveed canals run parallel to the roads and the sense of desert living is still strong. The rent was low and there weren't more than a handful of people on the site who were below retirement age, but this only contrasted with the way I spent my days. A recent bonus was that of living right next door to a good-looking young widow whose nine-year-old daughter seemed determined to get the two of us into bed together. I don't know what they teach them in the schools these days. Or perhaps they get it from TV.

It was starting to get dark as I drove home that evening, a dusty pink moon sitting low in a blue-metalled sky. I always like the effect of the lines of red tail-lights around that hour, a kind of rustbucket romance that briefly turns ordinary traffic into some kind of carnival; but what I was thinking about tonight was those three ill-matched bodies lying brain-dead in a motel room but somehow still breathing – just – and about Gilbert Mercado, the champion sprinter with the punchbag face and an armful of baby foods.

He was feeding the corpses, obviously. Somehow keeping them alive at only the most basic level. But why?

Loretta's Renegade wasn't there, and I wondered if she'd be out for the evening. It wasn't so much that her daughter's vigorous campaigning was starting to get to me; the truth was that I was glad to have help. As I said, I don't exactly sparkle in company. I went inside, let up the blinds, and turned on the TV to catch Eyewitness News. My sitting room was cool enough for me not to have to switch on the air conditioning, but I left open the door to my covered porch to let any breeze blow through.

A big earthquake in southern Italy; Chicano students at the ASU picketing along with striking citrus farm workers in the valley; two Phoenix hospitals running trials with marijuana as part of their therapy for cancer patients, while down in Pinal County the EPS and the Sheriff's office were celebrating a million-dollar bust over the self-same substance after fourteen months of investigation. And coming up next, the anchorman promised as the inlay behind his shoulder carried a shot of the County General, the medical mystery that has detectives and doctors baffled.

Detectives and doctors. Ho mention of any sergeants in there, I noted.

It was during the commercial break that I heard Loretta's jeep making the turn in alongside the house, and even before the engine died I heard Georgina run up the three steps to their door. She's only a small child and healthily skinny, but she makes more noise than an elephant charge when she runs. The break ended, and the coverage started; a couple of minutes in, I heard a tap on the porch screen. I shouted that it was open.

Loretta came in, glancing at the TV as if she was wary of interrupting anything important. At that moment they were flashing up Lightnin' Leslie's rather freehand interpretations of the one deceased and two surviving subjects, none of which looked like any of the faces that I'd seen earlier in the day. As they cut to a shot of the Paradise, I said to Loretta, 'You heard about this?'

'If it's about the three coma people, I heard it on the radio. Did it happen in your area?'

'I was the one who found them.'

'Ugh, creepy.' She sat down on the edge of the couch to hear the rest. 'Just censor the details a little when Georgie puts the pressure on, will you?'

They went on into an interview with Lieutenant Michaels – he hadn't said anything to me about that – but my chances of hearing what he had to say took a sudden dive when Georgie came hammering up the porch steps and bounced into the room. Her arrival broke the peace with a similar effect to that of a small hand grenade.

'Hi, Alex,' she said, 'were you the one who found the zombies?'

'I found some sick people, that's all,' I said, mindful of Loretta's warning. 'Zombies get up and walk, but the ones I found weren't going anywhere.'

'Were they in coffins? Or just sort of standing around?'

'How, listen, kid,' Loretta cut in, 'you can either button up or die young. Choice?'

Georgie chose to button up. The internal pressure made her almost pop-eyed. I said, 'It was nothing, Georgie, honest. No coffins, no zombies. All I did was call out an ambulance.'

'I bet,' Georgie said, her tone conveying that she didn't believe a word of it and that I was keeping the really interesting details for grown-up talk.

'What did we decide?' Loretta said sternly, and Georgina made a hurricane withdrawal.

The item was winding up now with a description of Gilbert Mercado but, thankfully, no picture. No drugs were found anywhere in the room, no traces in the bodies. Over in the next house I could hear Georgie playing her recorder, almost certainly for my benefit. She was a nice kid, but someday somebody was going to have to break the news to her that she had a tin ear for music. Loretta held a straight face for a while, but then snorted with laughter and had to look down and cover her eyes in embarrassment. As the news gave way to an ad for fast-working tablets for diarrhoea – no chalky taste, no large doses – I went over and turned off the set.

'What was the radio coverage like?' I asked Loretta as I turned to her again. She was blowing her nose on a tissue after wiping her eyes; in the distant background, Georgie was still murdering Amazing Grace.

'The usual,' Loretta managed after a moment. 'Two minutes of news followed by an hour of crackpot phonecalls with every wild theory you ever heard of coming around again. Is this going to be big for you, or what?'

'It isn't even going to be a police case, from what I can make out. Why?'

'So,' she said carefully, 'does that mean you're planning to follow it up in your own time?'

'I'm not going to be following it up at all.'

'Well, in that case, I'm under orders from Georgie to ask if you'd like to spend the day with us on Wednesday. That is your day off, isn't it?'

Across the way, I heard Georgie's recorder stop dead in the middle of a bar.

'Love to,' I said. 'Anywhere special?'

'I'll provide the picnic if you'll provide the venue. You know the town better than I do and, I'll be honest, coping with the Katzenjammer Kid over there seems to have ruined my decision-making capability.'

Was it my imagination, or could I hear the Katzenjammer Kid jumping around next door and shouting Yay! Yay!? I said, 'I'll think of something.'

Loretta got up to go, but now her face was serious. She lowered her voice, so that it wouldn't carry.

'Listen, Alex,' she said. 'We both like you a lot. But if this gets to be an embarrassment, you can tell me and… we'll stop it there. All right?'

'It hasn't happened yet,' I said.

Neither of us moved, but there was either some understanding going back and forth there or I was seriously misreading the signals. Bless the kid, I didn't think I could have come this far without her; I'd have had Loretta stunned and poleaxed with my one-note personality just like all the others, smiling a fixed smile and casting shifty glances around for the nearest exit. We'd come through all that, past the point where first impressions mattered more than anything else. I hadn't got a clue what I was going to say next; Loretta was about to speak, but then Georgie broke the silence again as only Georgie could.